Down with Holiday Stress!

The holidays can be a very stressful time for many. It's because of the whirlwind of decorations and entertainment that come along with it. The pressure of what to buy adds to what is already a harried month. I admire a friend who opts out of buying gifts for family and instead cares for others in that space. She donates her resources both in time and money, and instead chooses to receive the intangible gift that comes from giving to a complete stranger in need.

Look around you for a moment. Perhaps you're reading this in the comfort of your home or your job. Both are a blessed place even if it's not the ideal place you had in mind. When you begin to look at life from that perspective, the appreciation levels rise and so does your happiness. Discontentment grows from lack of appreciation for what is yours, right now. Arriving does not mean the accumulation of stuff. Reality is that you will never arrive. The wonderful thing about life is that it is a constant journey that brings new adventures and adversities.

I had the privilege one time of sitting in a workshop that was about adversities and walked away with a new perspective. (Self-education is such a good and necessary thing.) I have a habit of bringing God into my stuff, so of course it became the topic of conversation. My aha moment was when I realized that adversity, big or small, can be a propelling point and opportunity, and not just something that is negative.

Here is what clicked in the brain. Adversity pushes you into opportunity. There is always a solution. It may not be one you like, but when you push through, it gets you to a better place.

So how does this apply to holiday stress? Stress is an adversity. Find a solution not just to lower it, eliminate it. This will require effort and nobody likes effort. As a matter of fact, no one likes a lot of effort. We have become a 'let's make it easy and convenient' society and have created lots of lazy people who are frustrated, unfulfilled and living a sub-standard life instead of extraordinary.

Are you willing to invest in you to make a better place within your circle of influence? It's easy to walk away or ignore. I say let's be different and make a positive, ripple-effect in our world.

Watch out stress - you are going down! Well...at least we're going to give it our best effort.

Hint: If you plan carefully, you can eliminate the holidays stress and blues! If you didn’t do enough planning this year – lesson learned – start earlier, lots earlier, next year

The Won Factor

One of the first things I learned when I was in Israel was that the word ‘coincidence’ does not exist in the Hebrew language. It is easy to accept when the stuff that happens is a blessing or something that is good. The feeling changes when it is a tragedy, an illness or anything bad.

I’ve had moments of two-year old tantrums where I asked God, no straight out screamed at God, why He has let certain things happen. The reason is because I felt like I was his favorite, privileged and should not be subject to go through anything bad. I am different. I am His girl and under His protection. Nothing bad is supposed to happen to me.

Judean Desert

The shock of the reality and consequences of living in a broken world makes me angry at God sometimes because it means I have to fight once again and I’d rather He fight all alone on my behalf. (Sounds selfish huh?) It’s not long after I have kicked and screamed that I realize that I need to put my big pants on and fight like a girl…okay a big girl. What that means to me and should mean to you is that we’ve already been taught how to fight and because we’re God’s daughters, we have the backing to win.

The sacrifice of Jesus ushered in the ‘won’ factor. Notice that is past tense. What most of us miss during a battle is the fact that we are fighting from the stance or should fight from the stance of knowing that we will win. You cannot lose. I cannot lose. We have the backing of the God of the universe. It does not matter what the circumstance is, we’ve won.

Perhaps you cannot accept that you have won at the present time because you are so clouded with the negative of your situation. That is actually a normal human response. However, we are not to fight from a human perspective. We are to fight from our spirit 'know'.

If you refuse to believe what the bible says, you will lose. It is as simple as that. The biggest hindrance to a believer is unbelief. The partnership and covenant between you and God comes at a standstill because both parties have to be in mutual agreement for the same purpose.

Fear drives, fuels and maintains unbelief. Belief is a choice. Either you believe the whole God package or you don’t. When YOU choose to believe a past experience of failure, you tie the hands of God because he cannot operate in unbelief. When you choose to believe what God says despite of what the situation brings, the won factor is activated and has to come to pass.

You have the won factor…believe.

              In memory of my sweet Marian Gavish. Until we meet again. I know it was not
              a coincidence that you were my guide in your beautiful country. 

Romans 8:31-39 We are more than conquerors.

Sisterhood Connection

It’s very apparent that there is strength within relationships. There is a unified front with a common purpose, especially with a band of women. It is a beautiful and a dangerous thing. Some people call it sisterhood. I don’t think that there is a clear understanding of the word sister. The word automatically brings most to the comfort and security of family. Trust spills into that space. Love surrounds and is handed off as a great, glass of cold water for a thirst that can never be quenched.

Relationships don’t allow for continual sadness or the stronghold of depression. Instead, it encourages healing and challenges for the looking forward to. The bonds keep us accountable, one to the other, and that provides a sense of significance. The encouragements propel us to begin to walk in our gifting – to display our talents that we long to share because they provide deep fulfillment. The laughter makes our souls dance within, with the knowledge that there’s more to come… yes…more to come.

Perhaps I am sentimental at heart because the value of friendship – of sisterhood, has no price tag. When I think of my sisters within my home front, I cannot help but smile when I remember the endless conversations through the all in going. I find comfort in family. They are my refuge; a place of safety.

To have all those qualities within the extension of friendship is what I’ve been designed for. No one has been created to be alone. Isolation has always been one of the greatest ploys used to break the spirit but it was never meant to be for any of us.

As connections continue to happen, I believe that God smiles because that was His plan all along. There’s unity in the power of us. There’s protection in the chords that intertwine and keep us in each other’s lives over the years. We are prayed for, loved, appreciated and cherished, even when we are not present. We’re thought of with memories that cannot be erased throughout a life time. We are missed when there is the distance of time or space.

Why do so many of us feel alone then. Perhaps it’s time to become purposeful in our relationships. It’s time to send that text, email or pick up the phone. It’s time to take the drive or make that date. Fill yourself with the anticipation of that connection. Smile. Know that you are never alone.

Inspired by Yvette, Bea, Jo, Lynn, Crystal and Shari.

Fear is a Liar!

Fear can take many shapes and forms.

For example, it may look like a guardian who protects your heart when it actually shuts you in and everyone else out.

Fear will lie to you every time. It will state that you have an iron heart when in reality it has numbed you to all possibilities, both towards your present and future.

Fear will manifest through defensive attitude. It will hide the real reason for your sadness, anger, resentment, bitterness, loneliness, etc.

Unlike the good fear, hurtful and false fear leaves no room for reason nor will it allow you to be sensitive.

The beauty of sensitivity is that it forces you to feel. A soul-ache is an indication that something is out of sync and needs to be fixed. You can’t heal if you refuse to feel.

~ Excerpt from: Stop Ignoring Me...The Cry of My Heart (COMING SOON!)

Say What You See

Speak to those things that are not as if they were. 

Christians get hung up on that verse because they think it's lying or setting themselves up for failure. 

If you can't see with your mind's eye where you're heading, your living is in existence mode. Saying what you see in your mind's eye to yourself is a reminder of where you're heading. It's your destination. It doesn't matter if you're not there right now. It's your declaration of where you're going and what you want to see happen in your life. 

Lady Insecurity

I like to imagine that Insecurity is a woman. Once she has a hold of you, she clings on to you for dear life, almost like a lover. Oh and be careful if you cross her--her grip will become vengeful. She’ll make sure she’ll keep you in your place by instilling fear that is fueled with doubt, or lack of love and trust. It will show in your posture since she’ll make sure you lack the self-confidence and acceptance that you need in order to succeed.

Lady Insecurity will make sure you hide your uncertainties by keeping people at a safe distance. She wouldn’t want any of them to get too close to you. People may find out about your instability and try to help you. Oh but wait. She has that covered too. You see, she’ll also make sure that she stunts your personal growth by whispering that you’re okay just the way you are. Her motto is, “Have problems? Don’t face them.” This will resound in your head like a lullaby. She’ll love you forever and be your faithful friend as long as she’s the Boss. Wouldn’t you agree that it may be time to fire her?

~ Excerpt from Stop Ignoring Me...The Cry of My Heart (COMING SOON!)

Got Natas?

Spanish coffee lovers usually do not tolerate natas. Our coffees are not lattes. They resemble an espresso but have a distinct flavor, aroma and taste. The boiled (not steamed) milk is a big contributor. If you serve coffee with natas, most Hispanics will get disgruntled and if they happen to be family members, they will immediately return their cup and ask for another.

Nata is the thick film that floats to the top after you have boiled milk. If you’re like me, you find it to be nasty and remove it quickly before you pour the milk into your coffee.

As I boiled milk this morning for my coffee, I thought about all of the natas that God wants us to scoop out of our lives.

Natas - the junk that floats up during a hot situation.

Natas - the stuff we don’t recognize, don’t want to look at, don’t care to admit, hide, dress up, are proud of, get fueled by, use as a protection, use as an excuse, believe, accept and live with.

So what are some of life’s natas?

•  The pin of hate that is worn as a badge of honor.
• Angry thoughts and/or feelings that linger forever and have no expiration date.
• Being sensitive towards certain things when we should’ve gotten over it already.
• Carrying the torch for someone who has left ions ago and was not worth it.
• The green shade of jealousy that has taken hold of our wardrobe.
• The common ache from the disease called Comparison Syndrome.
• The Ghost of Insecurity that hangs around like a faithful companion.
• The common middle name….Procrastination.
• When no choice has become our excuse.
• When we still hear the computer sound wave – “unworthy, unworthy” as we look in the mirror.
• The lost of control that shows in our gut and hips.
• Keeping friends who influence us negatively.
• Beating ourselves up when God doesn’t know what we’re talking about.
• When being critical has made us age.
• Being an attention junkie and unable to kick the habit.
• When we live to please and please and please.
• When control freaks bow down and worship us.
• Respect is only displayed when coerced.
• Self-esteem needs to be scraped off of our shoes from time to time.
• Love is only about what we get.
• No is not part of our vocabulary.
• The fear of … (fill in the blank).

Now there are those who don’t mind the natas. Some will push it to the side. Others will actually drink it. So what happens when we do that with life’s natas? When we push something to the side, it never gets corrected. When we drink it, have accepted it as part of our lives, it never gets addressed.

Junk that float up the top is an indicator that there is something harmful that is holding us back. We have the option to push it to the side, continue to drink or scoop it out completely. There’s always a choice when it comes to the quality of our lives.

It takes courage to continuously change and want change. I hope that each time you look at your coffee, you’re reminded of the pleasantries of life and how removing the natas can make your cup that much better.

Oh hail to coffee without natas and life without the same!

Nuggets of Learnings

Birthdays, anniversaries and New Years always make you take inventory and reflect on what you've accomplished, where you're at and what's next. I am grateful for the milestones because it welcomes the opportunity for change and growth. Some people groan during those key moments and miss out on the chance to dig in deep and answer the tough questions about themselves. It's also a time of sharing with others what you've learned along the way.

I have two incredible daughters and like any other parent, I'd rather they learn from my stories than for them to experience certain mistakes or heartaches. I wish they would listen to council and do what is right when no one is looking over their shoulder. Most of all, I pray that they would keep Jesus as the center of their lives, because no matter what, they will always find balance in life because their faith will sustain them.

There are a lot of things I want to share with them about what I've learned over the years but there isn't enough time, enough attention (on their part), enough wisdom (I'm just mom) or enough of their presence (I have to share them with others). The wonderful thing about writing is that love on paper always captures the attention of a person, so with a heart that is overflowing, here are my nuggets of learning for my daughters, Kristen and Lindsey.

Love is a constant that goes beyond the butterflies within the tummy. It's reinforced and displayed in the little routine, mundane, everyday stuff that is taken for granted because we get hung up on the stupid, small, negative-stuff that's not worth asphyxiating over.

Live fully but choose carefully. If your initial gut tells you it's wrong than it's wrong. A numb conscience is your worst enemy because it means that you've disciplined a bad habit of not letting your spiritual side lead the way. You will always lose if you do that.

Be an advocate of only the things that really make you heated. Don't be an advocate for all. You will come across as a people pleaser. It is okay to have your own opinion even if it means someone won't like you.

Maintaining neutrality should be used only in certain cases when it's called for like within a job, a school or a relationship but it should not be a way of life. A neutral person loses their voice, their persona and their shine. You were meant to be different.

Your opinion is not the end all. Don't shut people down with your beliefs or talk over them in conversations. Become a good listener. Often times we don't hear a person's heart because we're busy responding in our heads when they're talking.

If someone dismisses your faith, don't waste your time defending your beliefs. State what you believe unapologetically and move on.

Quiet time is precious. Monopolize it when you can because the seasons of life can diminish that pretty quickly. Learn to be content with just you and yourself.

Friendships are like a dollar in your pocket my dad would say. Still trying to figure that one out but here's what I think. Dollars come and go. The value of a dollar goes up and down. A dollar can buy you something or nothing. A dollar can be invaluable or valuable depending how much you need it.

Your parents may not always be right but they will always have your best interest at heart. When all others fail you, at the end of the day, you will always be their child (my child) and there is safety and love in the comfort of family. Don't ever forget family.

Love deeply. I emphasize on love twice because it's the reason for your existence. Love your God with all your heart. Love others despite their flaws. You have flaws too. Love your life. You get only one chance to live it so live it well. Give love, accept love and teach others to love through your actions. Don't plant seeds of hate. It's a waste of time.

Forgive. We are all chronically human (as pastor says). None of us are above making mistakes even ones done on purpose.

Don't assume. It will get you in trouble. Assumptions create rifts because it opens the doors for wrong interpretation or an opinion that is yours alone...not the reality…torturous place to be.

The blues is temporary and the choice to remain sad and depressed is yours. Never, ever stay in that part of your mental country for long. Short visits only.

Feel. You're a woman and your emotions are right where they should be - deep. It's okay to cry and be emotional. I'm not justifying permanent PMS mode.

I'm digging peace. I hope you diligently search for it and make it a constant in your life. Stress shortens life. We see it every day. Winning arguments may feel good but does the end result establish peace? Some things are not worth the energy. Pick your battles.

Keep your value. Don't lower your standards for no one. Compromise when it comes to your value will scar you. Your value far exceeds that of a diamond in your parent's eyes...in my eyes. You're worth much more than my life. I would trade it for yours without thought.

Know that you are loved. I know that this is the third time I've mentioned love but bear with me, I promise this will be my last tidbit. I mention it once again because life begins with love and then continues into eternity. You are never - not loved. Always remember that.

Are You a Follower?

Do you know that as much as you may pride yourself, to be an individual that does whatever you want, you are a follower? You comply to certain guidelines because built in you, is the need to feel accepted.

You want to fit in, to have friends and to be liked. Those are, by no means, a bad thing. However, what is the cost? How much of yourself are you giving away to others to maintain that feeling to belong?

Many women fall into the trap of abuse because they want the security of being loved by a man. Their cost is the abuse of their self-esteem, their heart and the use of their bodies.

Your worth should never be lowered for the security of having a man. If anything, it should increase exponentially because you have the bling going on in the inside.

What is that? It looks like this.

All your incredible qualities radiate. Your personality attracts. Your heart overflows with goodness. Your stride is elegant and your command in a room is powerful. Any man would be proud to have the privilege to call you a life partner; but your man, whether now or in the future, understands that to have you, to be chosen by you is a gift.

Do not cheapen yourself by being a follower and lowering your high standards to fit into another's bad mold. You are a gem, a woman worth the wait. Be choosy, be picky and (snaps fingers in z formation), be a splendid diva...always for the better.

You are Equipped!

You can do all things that you set your mind to. Deep inside of you is the gift that God has given you that has equipped you to do whatever it is that you are supposed to do while you're on this earth.

You see, living life to the fullest is a choice. You choose every single day whether you are going to live or exist

To live means to do everything that you are equipped to do to the fullest. To exist is living a life of excuses, living in the past, living in the present with regrets or not caring.

You are equipped, let the world see you do what you do best!

In All Things...Be Content

I often wondered why Paul used the word be content instead of be happy when he said that he knows what it is to have much or to lack..."but in all I am to be content." (I am to be - a purposeful choice.)

It was his way of saying, make sure you are satisfied with what you have right now. It may not be what you dreamed of, wished for or hoped for but learn to be content.

Contentment is not complacency. Often you hear people say be happy with what you have and there is truth in those words. However, be happy with what you have should not define the where you're at or will will be forever.

Contentment is a forward motion. It doesn't come to fullness if where you're at is stagnant.

Stagnation occurs when you do the same thing year after year. There is no change, no growth within you or your surroundings.

When you're living in change, growth, even a setback has its defined parameters as a test within contentment.

To be content is to look at the entire picture of your life and to be able to say, really say from deep down in your belly, that life is good; I am blessed; I am satisfied with all what is, even though it's not exactly what I envisioned, dreamed, wished or hoped for.

It's the ability not to dwell on what's not but on what is, what can be or will be and still remain satisfied in the now.

Here's the thing. What are you doing about it? You know it, the thing or person that you're not happy with? It takes courage and a hard bend of your will to fix stuff, but that's what life is all about. It's about challenge and change and being content in the journey, even when certain things in the now sucks.

So, repeat with me. In all things be content. Now let's practice it together.

I Trust You...You Trust Me

I trust you, you trust me, we're a perfect family. 🎵🎶🎼🎵🎶 

Remember the Barney song...I love you, you love me? I bet that song will be playing over and over again in your head today. (I can hear some of you now...thanks a lot Roz!

There has to be love to establish trust. God's love comes from a well that is so deep, you can't see the bottom. You can take and take and take and He will never, ever say you're taking too much.

Trust comes with love and love comes from continual and consistent relationship. There's no way around it. The deeper the trust, the deeper the love. The deeper the love, the deeper the relationship.

Where does your trust reside and is it sustainable and for you at all times? Only you can take inventory. Be brutally honest. If your trust anchor doesn't keep you grounded, you may want to consider a change.

The Gift of Remembrance

To remember is a gift. It doesn't matter whether it was good or bad. There are painful memories that have shaped you or given others hope when shared.

Where does your mind dwell? Where does it gravitate to, day after day? The gift to remember is the most abused time portal used. Its misuse has caused people to wish for what they can't have, be stuck in an abused yesterday that will never happen again or stay sad because of what no longer is.

Life, the preciousness of life, is in the now, keeping in mind that the goal is to make a memory. Often, you let time slip away because your memory is consuming you.

You are charged to make new memories everyday. Each day, you should be making a new memory that counts, a memory that brings a smile to your face and to the countenance of others. Your goal should be to create many memories so that when you look back, the good outweighs the bad. Your life should be a peppered balance of memories, where those black spots are few within your salt mixture.

Learn...teach yourself to remember well, meaning don't dwell in pain. Your mind has a choice. Remember the good of a person or don't think of them at all if they have been a source of deep hurt. Remember the good about a loss one and don't dwell on their painful exit. Remember always the good because it will position you to make good memories here and now...like today.

What Type of Gift are You?

Do you remember what it feels like when you hear that someone close to you is having a baby? Usually there is joy, excitement and anticipation. As the birth day gets closer, the parents become nervous and begin to wonder how they will handle the upcoming change. The day finally arrives and baby comes into the world not knowing at that time that his birth was precisely planned for that moment.

Precious Present

When we think of babies we can easily associate them with the word gift. Babies bring an immeasurable amount of joy that becomes contagious. Who can resist the smile or giggles or a tiny babe? Mothers and fathers fall deeply in love with their children at that stage. They cherish their new and precious present.

As that baby gets older, goes through adolescence and then to adulthood, they all seem to lose sight of how important they are. College, work, competition and marriage become a blur of goals. Life moves quickly until it forces them to stop and take inventory of accomplishments. Discouragement settles in when they see that their hopes and dreams are not a reality. They accept that they are like everyone else and blend in with all the other unimportant people who have decided this is just how life is.

You Are a Gift

No matter how we came into this world, how we were received, or how we grew up, we are all gifts. Some of us were acknowledged as gifts coming into this world. Others were acknowledged as gifts years later. There may have been a difference in the timing, but that didn’t change what we are. We are, you are, a gift.

Each of us brings uniqueness to the table of life. Although some of our talents may be similar, none are exactly the same. We impact people differently. We love in our own special way and have the power to change lives with our actions. We have the influence to create ripples that can cross oceans at times.

Most of us do not realize how valuable and how loved we are. We hear of how we take others for granted and forget that we do the same for ourselves. We overlook our contributions as a friend, lover, parent, and child and view them as expectations and obligations. We do not see that we’re a gift.

Sharing Love

People are in a habit of listing the praises of others when they pass away. They begin to recall all of the wonderful things that person may have done. It’s a natural inclination to do that. However, I wonder what impact we would make if we made it habit to tell those closest to us how much we love them, and acknowledge how we appreciate what they do for us while they are alive.

We all need to hear positive affirmation. We need to know that we are loved, accepted and cherished. We are all born with those essential needs. Babies know they are gifts because they are showered with love. Why should that change as we get older? We have an obligation to continue that in our homes and with those we love. In loving others we increase their value and our own. We acknowledge we are gifts and recognize they are also.

Your Worth

Too much emphasis is placed on worth based on dollars and status. Your value and worth is beyond that measure. Life is about us, not I. It’s about the joy of being with one another and experiencing this journey together through the good, the bad, and the ugly. You won’t recognize that you’re a gift until you become a gift to others. You cannot live as a gift until you bring your uniqueness to the table.

What kind of gift will you choose to be? Yes, you have a choice. You can be a big present or remain a small one. You can view others as big or as small. The emphasis you place on both will determine the outcome. Choose to be a gift. Choose to be a big gift. Let’s unwrap ourselves and those around us together.

Get Dressed in Love

There are different ways you can dress up your inner gal. She can be dressed in love or hatred. That love or hatred can be towards others or yourself.

To get dressed is a choice. You choose what you wear and how and when you will wear it. You choose the accessories to go with it.

You may be tempted to blame others for how your inner gal is dressed. However, the blame is with you. Your reactions determine your decisions to your choices.

Are you wearing love or hatred? Choose love.

Surrendered Prayer

More often than not, we dictate to God how we want a prayer to be answered. We outline how it should be answered and even go as far as setting a deadline.

When the prayer is not answered, we get mad and disappointed. We conclude that God is not real, we are too sinful or He's too busy with other people who really need Him.

Surrendered Prayer is when you make your need or want known to God and then you trust. The trust comes into play when you thank Him and let "it" go, whatever it is. You trust that His answer will be the best in His timing.

God always answers prayers. He will not answer a prayer that will harm you, harm another or go against His word. In this case, the answer is no.

Often, it is the wait that makes one give up. Sometimes, what looks like an unanswered prayer to you, was an answered prayer to a loved one that was suffering for example, and you asked for them to stay but they asked God to let them come home.

There are many things you and I will not understand, here and now...but one day we will.

Surrendered Prayer is when you have relationship, a love relationship with Jesus and you know that you can trust Him. He's got ya.

Emotional Me...Emotional You

In the quagmire of emotions, I often found myself trying to find the balance that is considered right and acceptable. The dos and don’ts always floated in my head.

• Don’t cry too much. You’ll come across as unstable and weak.
• Woman, you never cry. You come across so cold.
• Woman, you feel too much. You have to stop wearing your heart on your sleeve.
• Let him do all of the work. Don’t show so much love.
• You’re too sensitive. You need to become (fill in the blank).


All those outside voices required an apology and acknowledgement of what I needed to be or become.

But eventually I had to step back and look at me, emotional me, and I had to quiet out all the other voices. When I did, I began to realize that there was a season for all sorts of emotions. It came with the life happens that occur from time to time, like the stress of being a mom with young children; the pain of losing someone dear; the regret of wrong choices; the anxiety of too many changes occurring simultaneously; the risk of diving into the unknown; the betrayal of a friend; the burden of holding on or letting go; or the challenge of starting over (to name a few).

Emotional me discovered that tears were not necessarily a sign of weakness but often a display of love, happiness and yes hurt and pain. But to feel meant I was alive and not dead to my senses. It meant I was living and not existing. It meant that I recognized there were areas to heal and that acknowledgement is the first step towards it.

Emotional me recognizes that at times the feelings of the blues is my body telling me to slow down or stop so that I can nurture the inner girl. It forced me to seek and uncover where I lack. Perhaps I’m working too many hours, facing a hurtful situation, not treating the body right or having a hormone shift and in dire need of chocolate.

Emotional me assures me that whatever pain that afflicts me is temporary. She reminds of times past and urges me to find a friend when the cloud of blues lingers on a bit too long.

Emotional me coax me to apologize after an irritable moment and encourages me to choose future dialog that will build instead of tear down (internally and externally).

Emotional me is the chick that tricks me many times into believing I should dress beautifully and escorts me happily into the shoe store to buy pair number 75. Ah yes she reminds me to buy or give hubs a little something so that he doesn’t freak out on the latest purchase.

Emotional me, emotional you… Too often we chuck valid emotions as being too emotional. We beat ourselves up, drive ourselves crazy and sometimes become more emotional because of it. We feel we’re not allowed, so we become more depressed and become more emotional and it becomes a vicious cycle.

To acknowledge emotional you is to embrace the essence of who you are as a woman. It doesn’t provide an excuse to reign as a woman gone wild but offers the acceptance that you love deeper; you’re wired to nurture, are built with a 6th sense intuition and have tear ducts that activate at a drop of a hat.

When you understand that about yourself, you begin to learn, as with everything else in life, that there’s a need for balance. Don’t ignore, belittle, or get exasperated with emotional you. Find out what she’s trying to tell you…LISTEN.

Get Dressed...Feel Pretty!

Some friends and I talked about how important it is for a woman to dress up. It makes her feel pretty. It's not about vanity.

It is easy to become careless with self as a person gets older. One of the things my mother drilled into us is that you need to dress appropriately and for the occasion. Although we don't follow it to the T, my siblings and I still take great care how we represent our family and that includes how we dress.

We know that our mom would be embarrassed if we looked constantly sloppy or walked into church or dinner disheveled. A lot of our friends look at us and say, you haven't aged. We actually have, of course, but we take good care of how we look. Again, it has nothing to do with vanity. It is loving oneself enough to invest the time.

We not only represent our family but we also understand that we are the reflection of God and represent His family. We understood that when we dressed up for a Sunday service, we honored God. I guess that impression stayed with all of us and we took it beyond church.

Do we wear jeans, sweats and forgo makeup. Heck yea! However dress up is not limited to clothes. It is smelling nice or pretty, making sure your hair is cared for, not being afraid to try new colors, throwing on some polish, shaving! You know the basic care to remain attractive for your significant other. That stuff is important but you see people let themselves go, and they don't realize that the lack of care impacts their self-esteem because eventually they don't feel good about themselves. It tells their partner, I don't think you're important enough to keep the attraction, and it tells God, I don't care to be a reflection of your family or a reflection of you for that matter.

Get Dressed today. Have fun and feel pretty or handsome. Each Sunday we take a selfie in church during service with the person we sit with. So if you dress up today after reading this, go ahead and take a selfie and represent proudly.

(Inspired by my book - Get Dressed! Life has stripped you...NOW WHAT?)

No Eres Victima. You are Not a Victim.

No eres victima. You are not a victim.

What is past tense, does not define what you are today. The reason you don't move forward is because you hang on to the past or to the labels that have been placed on you.

Others do not determine who you are. You do. There is a choice you are given every moment, of every day to believe. What you believe defines you.

There are many things, positive affirmations tied with identity that God says about you. None include being a victim. If anything, you are called an overcomer. What that means is that if it's in the past, you have overcome that situation. If it is in the present, even if you don't currently see a positive outcome just yet, you have overcome that situation. If it's coming in your future, and you can't avoid it, you will overcome that too because God said so.

If you're smarter than God than you will doubt the words you've just read. It takes crazy abandonment to do certain things in life. Why not use the same energy to believe the positive labels God has placed on you instead of remaining stagnant.

I dare you...

You are Courageous!

Often the focus is on the times we were cowardly or scared. Yet each day, we live courageously.

You have the courage to do your job and do it well. You have the courage to drive a car amongst maniacs. You have the courage to step into the unknown time and time again.

What is the unknown? It's finishing college and stepping into the work world. It's buying a new house. It's having a baby. It's starting a new business. It's facing a disease that can potentially kill you. It's the choice to deal with whatever comes your way in any of these choices...or more.

You may see courage as a valiant act but what it really looks like is the ability and choice is to live for more. You look forward and grow continually. You grow and you evolve constantly. That my friend, takes, and is courage.

Balance of Fun

The word fun is defined by the individual. What is considered fun for one person is not for another. However, all would agree that whenever we’re involved in a pleasantry that makes us happy, we want to repeat that action. Life is full of fun, but society’s inclination of more work and little play has caused us to take life a tad bit too serious.

Too Busy for Fun
Take the workaholic…they average 60-80 hours a week and when you ask what they do for fun, chances are that they will say nothing. This is because they don’t have the time. Why do so many of us use our jobs as an escape? Often times, people try to avoid their reality. It is easier to remain lost in a world of proposals, projects and numbers. It numbs the brain and the heart. It helps one ignore the issues that haunt them and provides a valid excuse not to address what’s bothering them, especially when others are involved. Work becomes their lifestyle and companion.

More and more, we see young adults forgo friendships and relationships for the sake of career. Fun seldom comes around or disappears altogether. One can argue that sometimes sacrifice is required but at what cost?

It’s been said time and again that life is not a dress rehearsal. You only get one chance at it. We often live with little thought of tomorrow. We assume it is owed to us and expect life to continue the next morning. We believe our relationships will remain the same even if we don’t take the time to nurture them. Isn’t it ironic how we invest so much time into our work because we know what the end result will be but act completely surprised when our relationships fail? It is so easy to blame work because of the hectic schedule, but we fail to see that we are at fault because we do not prioritize our lives correctly.

What about Fun?
Fun should not be an option in life. It should be a staple. Fun should be prioritized as one of the top items. It shouldn’t be something we fit in. It should be something we live. Some will say that work is fun and it should be. However, when the results of fun hurts those you love most, it is a sure indicator that you are spending too much time at it, or that whatever you’re doing is just plain wrong.

God clearly says that we should live a joyful life. If we live in misery, it’s time to stop and take inventory. Yes, life throws us some sadness from time to time, but we should be able to smile, even if it is only on the inside; an indicator of contentment. Fun is not limited to what you do but how you live. It is also a state of mind.




Spoiled Nation
We’re spoiled in the United States. We are by far one of the wealthiest and most pampered-nation. We complain about the silliest things and we forget about our brothers and sisters in third-world countries who would cry for joy if they had a quarter of what we owned. What we take for granted, they would probably consider fun. It would be fun for them to watch their children’s faces as they chose whatever clothes they wanted to buy and be able to afford it. It would be fun to watch these same kids go to school. It would be fun to watch their family eat until they were full. All these uneventful things would bring them happiness.

We would not view any of these things as fun or as a source of happiness. For us, these things will happen because they have, for as long as we can remember. Everyday, we miss the fun in life because we choose not to see or acknowledge it because we don’t prioritize or make a conscientious effort to notice.

Balance of Fun
We only get one chance at life, here on this earth. Life should be fun, no matter what we undertake each day. The balance of fun is a matter of choice. It is based on our views, attitudes and priorities. We tend to be quick to complain and resist change. A lot of folks miss out on the life that God intended for them. They choose to live miserably because they feel they have no choice, when in reality they did choose. They chose to remain in their misery and do nothing.

Don’t let life pass you by. Live fun, laugh in fun and love with fun. Learn to notice the small things, the big things…all things and let it bring a smile to your face and joy to your heart…every single day.

Glass and Your Heart

Glass is designed in different colors, different shapes and different sizes. However, for the most part, they are flawed. They have the weakness of breakage. 

A woman's heart is the same. No matter how strong she may appear on the outside, she is vulnerable. We all are. 

The bible says, guard your heart because it's the source of life. What that means is that whatever you harbor, will be reflected in your do. You can often tell a woman's condition by her posture, her dress and her words.

Balance of Food

There’s nothing like the sweet smell of a home-cooked meal as you walk in through the door of your mom’s house. All your senses come alive and your mouth begins to water with anticipation. No one can come close to mom, grandma, or Titi’s (aunt) cooking. They all have that knack for making anything yummy. In our case, all activities revolve around food with our family; still does today. We have two staples – God and food!

As we mature, okay grow older, we realize that we can no longer happily indulge when it comes to eating mom’s cooking as often as we’d like. Latinos love rice; any kind of rice and our moms find great joy in piling it on their children’s plate. Unfortunately, Latina women have a tendency to spread towards the bottom as time progresses. (Guess where the rice is going.) Oh and forget portions. They think you’re starving yourself if you’re getting a spoonful of anything.

It’s no longer a mystery that we must all watch what we eat including those that whose shape resemble that of a rod. As for those that are not blessed with thinness…we have made the disappointing discovery that metabolism grows older a lot faster than we do and moves painfully slow.

Food…Anyone?Of course when anyone says food, we automatically think about our stomachs. However food can also be used in the context of our minds. In either case, nourishment to both is important to provide a balanced life. Each in its own right, impacts the other.

Take a close look at your diet today. How much processed-food have you eaten so far? Chances are that quite a number of us have consumed some type of soft drink and have swung by a fast food place, without thought. We are accustomed to eating poorly and have gotten used to functioning without the right levels of energy. Those diminishing levels impact you in a subtle way when you’re younger, but as time progresses, there are changes that become quite evident.

Healthy habits, when it comes to food for the stomach, will promote positive changes in our bodies and that includes our minds. A sluggish body influences the mind and vice versa. When you feed both mind and body the right stuff, it provides incredible synergy. One without the other could never bring the high level of positive impact and balance needed for healthy living.Just like our stomach, our minds crave and wants to be fed everyday and with variety. Of course it’s up to us what we supply. If we decide to continually feed ourselves garbage, we’ll eventually get sick. It takes a conscientious effort to choose what’s nutritious. It takes discipline to stick with that choice day after day. It’s not easy, but in the long run, the reward is a healthy body and mind.

All of us want to live forever but our choices have the potential to alter our lives in a negative way. The food we provide or fail to provide, whether for stomach or thought, can influence or alter our physical or mental state. Some behaviors can lead to physical issues that can shorten our lives (IE: high cholesterol/blood pressure) or mental issues that impact those around us (IE: depression). In either case, there is a potential to hurt those we love or be unable to finish what we’ve been purposed for while on this earth.

We are God’s temple. Close your eyes and imagine that for a moment. The Holy Spirit dwells in you. Now look at the flip side. God has graced you with people who love you deeply. These two reasons alone should drive you to balance your food intake but it’s not enough.

Balance of Food
The driving force to balance food for your body and mind should be because you’ve learned to love you. God can love you and so can your family and closest friends, but if you have total disregard for your being, you will have no motivation. People feed their bodies and minds unhealthy stuff, for many reasons. Often times it’s because they’re unhappy. It is their way to escape reality. They’d rather run from their issues then face the hardship of fixing it or letting go. Of course one can argue that some do it for the pleasure, but what feels good or, in this case, is yummy to the palate and mind, may not necessarily be right for you.

The balance of food occurs when we have the right outlook of ourselves on the inside. This does not happen over night and never ends once we begin. It requires adjustment with every challenge and change. It’s not impossible. It just requires work and commitment as individuals.

Did you know we are in preparation for eternity? Today a friend listed some of the things she wants to hear God say about her when he says well done. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could accomplish all that we were supposed to because of our choice to balance, well, all the areas of our lives? It’s never too late. Balance your food today. Live, thrive…and eat!

Balance of Faith

Whenever we hear the word faith, we automatically think of the definition believing without seeing. In our minds, we make it a mystical mystery. Yet we fail to see that we operate in faith everyday without much thought. We dismiss the power behind faith and explain it to ourselves and others as expectation. We think this is what is going to happen because it is part of the norm, or because we’ve worked hard towards this or that. In our foolishness we forget that expectation is part of faith. Both go hand in hand.

Life on this earth operates on faith. Even if our views are warped, it doesn’t change this power-principle that makes all things what they are. Everything around you that is in existence today is as a result of faith. Whether the outcome was good or bad, it required that a person move within a series of steps that purposed them to believe in their cause. We often wonder why our world is so off kilter and are inclined to blame politics, terrorism, war and anything else that is blatantly evil or wrong with our world. However, none of us stop to think that we contribute to the chaos because of our actions or lack thereof.

Ripple Effect
Each one of us generates a ripple effect in the vast ocean of life. Our lives are intertwined. We may never meet or speak to a person across the ocean, but our actions always affect others, be it good or bad. What does this have to do with faith, you may ask yourself. Faith thrust us into action. Faith has the potential to cause change, it also creates. It brings into existence things that were never there before. Think about it. The level of technology we have today is because of faith. Someone thought about it, believed they could make it a reality and stuck with it until it came to pass.

Perhaps you are thinking that you just don’t fit into that category of the adventurer who forged the path of advanced technology, but you do. Faith begins with small steps and grows each time you see what you waited for materialize. All of us possess it. However, many still struggle with the acceptance of the power behind it. We dismiss the validity, deny it because of past disappointments, or dismiss it altogether because it is not tangible.

Blind Faith
People do not have faith in God because they believe He is not real, stopped believing because something bad happened to them or a loved one, or refuse to believe because they cannot see Him (although some will acknowledge that there is some higher power out there). Yet they’ll readily place their faith on people they don’t know or have never seen.

How many of us have boarded a plane to fly half way around the world because we believe that the pilot has the right credentials? We’ve seen countless air crashes but continue to fly. We don’t know the pilot, we’re not even sure the guy we see when we enter the craft is the one behind the controls, yet in our minds we have ushered in feelings of belief and security.

Balanced Faith
Contrary to popular belief, God is love, tells us constantly how incredible we are in the bible and encourages us to live life to the fullest and in peace. When your first faith is in God, it balances out all other aspects of faith in your life. You understand who you are, you believe things will get better (even when it ‘looks’ like it is getting worst, and that outlook spills over to anyone who comes in contact with you…at least that is how it is supposed to be.

Perhaps you have not experienced balanced faith although you believe in God. Maybe you don’t believe in God and are skeptical. In either case, you cannot dispute the truth of balanced faith unless you’ve experienced it. Unbelief is so detrimental. It happens when we listen to different sources without questioning or experiencing for ourselves, or because we get hung up on a past mistake – often due to poor choices, our own, someone else’s or because of something we’ve witnessed.

Affirmation and Faith
Faith in God is a personal experience. It is a personal choice. He continues to affirm us no matter what stance we decide to take. Affirmation is so important throughout our lives. It motivates us to do the impossible, to love without limits, and to create in the realm of endless beauty. None of us can accept or embrace affirmation unless there is faith. Someone can tell you over and over again that ‘you can’, ‘you’re so talented’, etc, but if you don’t believe, it’ll slip right through the ears.

Perhaps you’re doing pretty well because you are an achiever and have a trail of blazing success…but, when all is said and done and you’re alone at night, does all of that grandeur cradle your soul, or do you find that you have a hollow-ache inside? It’s not enough to believe in yourself. It’s not enough to depend on others to empower you. Tangible as both may seem, we all know that time makes us all waiver and change.

Power of Relationship

When faith comes from within your spirit and its source begins with God, then you become a force to contend with. In order to get to that place, though, you have to throw unbelief out the window. One thing that blew my mind was when I understood what Jesus meant when he prayed, “Father I ‘know’ that you hear me.” He said those words with such certainty.

Most people don’t know - or let’s just say it - don’t believe that they are being heard. When you say you don’t know, what you’re really mean is that you don’t believe (because you don’t feel it). It finally hit me when I caught myself saying the same thing one day. I was able to say it with certainty because I had built a strong relationship.

Faith grows in accordance with your relationship with God. If your relationship is strong, your faith will be strong. If your relationship is weak, your faith will be weak. If your relationship is non-existent, your faith will always be lacking. Faith will never be balanced in your life unless you invest yourself into your primary, spiritual relationship. Your choice determines the type of life you’ll live. You can continue to limp in certain areas of your life, or you can begin to walk tall and confident in body, soul and spirit.

To hear truth and do nothing is just as bad as unbelief without experience. No matter what choice you make today or what you decide to believe, remember…truth always confirms itself with time. Balance your faith today and become the ripple effect that causes the tidal waves of change.

Balancing the 4 F's!

Ever watched a twirler of plates? Sometimes they can have up to 12 plates on sticks rotating in the air. They control the plates by certain movements and by the balance they provide with their entire body. Often time we resemble a twirler on days when our schedule is jammed packed with activities. Each day we begin with a spin and continue to add plates throughout the day.

These plates represent certain items within the four main areas of our lives. If we live on overload, we soon learn that it is impossible to balance all of them. In today’s world, doing more is better and rest is a luxury of the past. If we are not doing something to fill the time, we consider ourselves idle and ineffective. We have programmed our minds to be busy at all times. We stimulate it with music, television, the internet, and any other means of media and communication.

Our children and teenagers, the future generation, are deprived of the use of their imagination. Information is handed to them in huge chunks. Enrichment of the mind is a wonderful thing, however, the increase and ease of technology has taken away the simplicity of life.

None of us have to write a note with a pen, or have to stick it into an envelope, seal it or stamp it, when email can do the same job in a fraction of the time. Why walk over, drive, hop a train or bus to visit family or friends everyday when they’re just a phone call away?

Sit with any elderly person and they will keep you intrigued with stories about their past for hours. They have those wonderful stories because life back then was simpler. Family, friends and community were strong and deep-rooted. They mastered the secret of balancing the 4Fs.


When you speak to an elderly person, one of the things that stand out in conversation is their strong belief system or Faith. Their conviction was not limited to their religious beliefs, but spilled over into every aspect of their lives. They believed in their abilities and were able to make things come to pass because of it.

Healthy eating wasn’t a choice back then. It was part of life. Food was home grown in most back yards. We often hear the stories of the rot and the rats and assume it is much better today. However, if you turn any box around and read the content label, most are filled with preservatives. They’ve extended the life span of our cuisines, but at what expense?
Fun was an integral part of any family and community. Imagination created all sorts of games, dances, and adventure. Folks would come over, bring their instruments and treats in anticipated-hours of enjoyment. A lot of us put two or three hour caps to this type of merriment with others. Some of us don’t know how to enjoy the company of ourselves. We’re either too far, too busy, become bored too fast, or are too tired to enjoy life.



Family time was an every-day thing. Everyone sat at the table for meals, and everyone pitched in to help. Mom and dad were available to their children daily (for more than an hour), and taught them the importance of kinship. It was not limited to their immediate circle, but included an extension of people today considered distant relatives or friends.

The balance of these 4Fs eludes us. In today’s world, we have little faith, lots of food, a warp sense of fun, and little to no family time. We wonder why our world is so chaotic, and rather sit back and wish it would get better. The reality of it is that it won’t until we all change and balance these areas in our lives.

The following weeks will cover how to balance the 4Fs of your life: Faith, Food, Fun and Family. If you really want to make a difference, I encourage you to continue reading. Perhaps you may feel that your contribution will only be a ripple effect. Imagine if we could create many ripple effects?

It’s time to bring back the simplicity and balance of life. Will you join me?

You are Beautiful!

It is the beauty that no one talks about as definition. It comes from within. The beauty that overflows and attracts. It uncovers and encourages others to see the true you.

It is the kindness, compassion and honesty that can be seen in the eyes of those who understand what this life is all about.

It has nothing to do about self. It's not selfish. It is not self self-serving.

It's knowing that that you are here to do for others. That's what makes a person beautiful.

Price of Your Love Tag

What is the right price of your love tag?

Love will never selfishly take away from you. If anything it will always add to you, in any relationship. Love will understand. Love will accept. Love will support. This means that your friend, a true friend, should be someone who accepts you for who you are, but is not afraid to tell you the truth, even when it hurts.

When friendship only benefits one side of the equation, it is not true companionship. Relationships require a healthy balance of give and take.

Life Saver and Boundary Maker Word

This sentence is a life saver and a boundary maker. Examples in layman's terms:

"Nope, ain't gonna do that."

"No, I'm not going."

"Thank you, but I'm not available."

"No, I'm sorry. I don't think our friendship is healthy any more."

"No, we can't make it that day. We have a family event."

"No, I will not work overtime."

"No, I will not stress over this situation."

"No, I will not stoop to your level."

"No, I will not let your drama affect me." (I really wanted to put crap in there initially.)

"No, I refuse to let you get to me." (I wonder if I add, freak you, if that would be wrong. I guess it would be huh.)

You get the point right?

No can be a beautiful word or sentence, and you don't even have to be nasty. Explanations are for those who have earned it, and are not necessarily required for the adult toddlers in your life. (Get it?)

Don't Miss Out on the Blessing

A blessing should not be limited in our minds to those small occasions. There are opportunities to bless and to receive. I find it’s easier to give than to receive. Perhaps it’s because of the joy of being the imparter and seeing the impact. However, when you do not let another person bless you, it steals the joy of their giving and an opportunity for them to be further blessed. You see blessings have a ripple affect. It doesn’t remain with the giver or the receiver. The impact continues to roll because we get motivated to continue to bless others. Indirectly or directly the blessing is never limited to one individual. There are actions and words that can inspire and can continue to roll into the broader realm of unlimited time. Think of the wonderful things a teacher may have done; a parent or a friend.

Perhaps a mindset shift is in order. These few reminders will help us to balance and become a better receiver (and yes this includes me!).

1. Accept Help. We have the mentality that to receive help is a sign of weakness. Love or friendship can be expressed in different ways. When someone asks to help you, they are also saying you’re important; I want to be there for you and love on you.

2. Accept Compliments. How many of us are guilty of hearing a nice compliment with a ready rebuttal? Instead of coming back with ‘you must be mistaken’ or with ‘no I’m not’, how about the words ‘Thank you’. It will put a smile on both your faces and even lighten up your step for a few moments.

3. Accept Advice. There may be a lot of unwanted advice out there, but there are a lot of good ones that come your way from those who love you most and are truthful, even when it hurts. You know who they are in your life.

4. Accept the ‘God Bless You’. We take those words for granted and have no idea how powerful those words are in our lives. They care enough to want the very best for you when they speak those words.

5. Accept and relish the investment of others in you. When people take the time out to look for you and spend time with you, acknowledge the value of family and friendship. Not everyone has that experience.

6. Accept the gift. How often have we gotten into a tug of war in a store line with a family or friend when they wanted to pay for something; or in a small match because someone who couldn’t afford to buy you something did? The reaction from the giver was probably that of sadness or hurt. (Hmmmm…something to think about.)

7. Accept the celebration. People take a lot of time and effort to celebrate you because of a great accomplishment or milestone. Don’t get all weird. Enjoy the celebration, the time with others, throw the false modesty out the window and have fun.

8. Accept the ‘I love you’. Here’s where a few of us get all weird. I admit I’m guilty of this because I was taught the words ‘I love you’ are powerful and should not be said lightly. This sentiment is not shared by all who say it. People can at times say it because for that moment in time you impacted them so deeply that they gushed with that feeling and expressed it. Here’s what we forget. There are different levels of love but they all can be genuine for that moment in time – in most cases. You should be able to discern the difference between liars who want something vs. folks who states it from the heart.

I bet you didn’t realize that things we think as common are actually blessing in our lives. Today, make a conscientious decision of being an accepter and not just a giver. Remember, you bless others by accepting blessings well.

Time is a Gift

Time is the gift that you do not get back. Yet you and I take it for granted. We don't appreciate certain moments because they do not feel like gifts. We miss the lesson.

The richness of life is being able to differentiate the bad and the good; what's missing and what you posses, and what is worth the investment; be it people, places and of course, time.

Time is what you give people or a place, be it a job, a home, a church, a trip, etc. The more time you pour into some one, some place or something, the more valuable it becomes to you. For that reason, it becomes a contradiction when you tell someone you love them or care about them and don't make time.

It's not because you're not spending time with them that becomes the offense. It's because time is precious and as it moves forward, you have less of it here on earth.

The world is full of regrets because of the unsaid I love you's, the missed opportunities of I forgive you and the sudden realization that time is limited or has run out.

Gosh this a challenge, right...to become conscientious of how time slips by, but better to plan, reach out and say what's on your heart then miss out, be pained and even regret.

Live...conscientious of time. Remember time is a gift.

God is Listening

So Rich shared about a time where a young man was shot and he happened to be in the vicinity. He explained that he took the young man's face in his hands and told him that he was going to die and pass into eternity. As blood spurt out of his chest, Rich asked the young man to ask Jesus to forgive him. His last breath was taken with those words.

When I asked my hubs if I could post this, he reminded me of another time that a similar shooting had occurred with another young man. Weeks later, he approached that particular young man's mother after she left the courtroom in tears. He explained that he was the last one to be with her son and he had prayed with him right before he died. The woman collapsed. She had been praying for her son for years.

When I heard the first story, the first thought that came to mind was that there must have been a praying mother somewhere.

Some of you mothers with children with issues need to be reminded that God answers prayers. It may not be the answer that you envision but He never leaves a prayer unanswered when it comes from a mom...no matter how late she thinks it is or was.

Be encouraged tonight. God is listening.

Beautiful

Beautiful. The word that is used to express how attractive something or someone is. It’s a word that often brings a smile to the lips of a woman. At times she can be taken aback or be dismissive, depending on the seriousness, the moment, the feelings that are enveloping her.

Beautiful describes the heart of many women who are selfless and give without expectation. Beautiful are those women who day after day, care for those they love. Beautiful are those women who teach each and every day through their actions and not just with their words. Yes beautiful.

Each day we are graced with beautiful women who allure those around her not by their physical nature but by the gentleness of their spirit and the enticement of their kind heart.

Beautiful is such a thrown-around word in society and equates to the curvaceous model that strides the runways. Perhaps that’s why our women no longer believe that phrase when addressed to them. The competition with gorgeous models makes one shrink when the natural inclination of an ordinary women’s mind goes automatically into comparison mode.

Beautiful is a word that lifts the spirit and elates the heart of the receiver.  It's the affirmation that every little girl, every young woman, every single woman regardless of age should receive throughout her lifetime. And yet, even when said, why does she still cringe and compare even when she knows logically that she shouldn’t?

Why not relish it, revel in it and accept it? Why not? What will she lose? What will you lose?  

Be beautiful. You are beautiful. Accept the compliment and pay it forward.