Nuggets of Learnings

Birthdays, anniversaries and New Years always make you take inventory and reflect on what you've accomplished, where you're at and what's next. I am grateful for the milestones because it welcomes the opportunity for change and growth. Some people groan during those key moments and miss out on the chance to dig in deep and answer the tough questions about themselves. It's also a time of sharing with others what you've learned along the way.

I have two incredible daughters and like any other parent, I'd rather they learn from my stories than for them to experience certain mistakes or heartaches. I wish they would listen to council and do what is right when no one is looking over their shoulder. Most of all, I pray that they would keep Jesus as the center of their lives, because no matter what, they will always find balance in life because their faith will sustain them.

There are a lot of things I want to share with them about what I've learned over the years but there isn't enough time, enough attention (on their part), enough wisdom (I'm just mom) or enough of their presence (I have to share them with others). The wonderful thing about writing is that love on paper always captures the attention of a person, so with a heart that is overflowing, here are my nuggets of learning for my daughters, Kristen and Lindsey.

Love is a constant that goes beyond the butterflies within the tummy. It's reinforced and displayed in the little routine, mundane, everyday stuff that is taken for granted because we get hung up on the stupid, small, negative-stuff that's not worth asphyxiating over.

Live fully but choose carefully. If your initial gut tells you it's wrong than it's wrong. A numb conscience is your worst enemy because it means that you've disciplined a bad habit of not letting your spiritual side lead the way. You will always lose if you do that.

Be an advocate of only the things that really make you heated. Don't be an advocate for all. You will come across as a people pleaser. It is okay to have your own opinion even if it means someone won't like you.

Maintaining neutrality should be used only in certain cases when it's called for like within a job, a school or a relationship but it should not be a way of life. A neutral person loses their voice, their persona and their shine. You were meant to be different.

Your opinion is not the end all. Don't shut people down with your beliefs or talk over them in conversations. Become a good listener. Often times we don't hear a person's heart because we're busy responding in our heads when they're talking.

If someone dismisses your faith, don't waste your time defending your beliefs. State what you believe unapologetically and move on.

Quiet time is precious. Monopolize it when you can because the seasons of life can diminish that pretty quickly. Learn to be content with just you and yourself.

Friendships are like a dollar in your pocket my dad would say. Still trying to figure that one out but here's what I think. Dollars come and go. The value of a dollar goes up and down. A dollar can buy you something or nothing. A dollar can be invaluable or valuable depending how much you need it.

Your parents may not always be right but they will always have your best interest at heart. When all others fail you, at the end of the day, you will always be their child (my child) and there is safety and love in the comfort of family. Don't ever forget family.

Love deeply. I emphasize on love twice because it's the reason for your existence. Love your God with all your heart. Love others despite their flaws. You have flaws too. Love your life. You get only one chance to live it so live it well. Give love, accept love and teach others to love through your actions. Don't plant seeds of hate. It's a waste of time.

Forgive. We are all chronically human (as pastor says). None of us are above making mistakes even ones done on purpose.

Don't assume. It will get you in trouble. Assumptions create rifts because it opens the doors for wrong interpretation or an opinion that is yours alone...not the reality…torturous place to be.

The blues is temporary and the choice to remain sad and depressed is yours. Never, ever stay in that part of your mental country for long. Short visits only.

Feel. You're a woman and your emotions are right where they should be - deep. It's okay to cry and be emotional. I'm not justifying permanent PMS mode.

I'm digging peace. I hope you diligently search for it and make it a constant in your life. Stress shortens life. We see it every day. Winning arguments may feel good but does the end result establish peace? Some things are not worth the energy. Pick your battles.

Keep your value. Don't lower your standards for no one. Compromise when it comes to your value will scar you. Your value far exceeds that of a diamond in your parent's eyes...in my eyes. You're worth much more than my life. I would trade it for yours without thought.

Know that you are loved. I know that this is the third time I've mentioned love but bear with me, I promise this will be my last tidbit. I mention it once again because life begins with love and then continues into eternity. You are never - not loved. Always remember that.