In the quagmire of emotions, I often found myself trying to find the balance that is considered right and acceptable. The do's and don’ts used to always float inside my head. Did that ever happen to you?
• Don’t cry too much. You’ll come across as unstable and weak.• Woman, you never cry. You come across so cold.
• Woman, you feel too much. You have to stop wearing your heart on your sleeve.
• Let him do all of the work. Don’t show so much love.
• You’re too sensitive. You need to become (fill in the blank).
All those outside voices required an apology and acknowledgement of what I needed to be or become.
But eventually I had to step back and look at me, emotional me, and I had to quiet out all the other voices. When I did, I began to realize that there was a season for all sorts of emotions. It came with the life happens that occur from time to time, like the stress of being a mom with young children; the pain of losing someone dear; the regret of wrong choices; the anxiety of too many changes occurring simultaneously; the risk of diving into the unknown; the betrayal of a friend; the burden of holding on or letting go; or the challenge of starting over (to name a few).
Emotional me discovered that tears were not necessarily a sign of weakness but often a display of love, happiness and yes hurt and pain. But to feel meant I was alive and not dead to my senses. It meant I was living and not existing. It meant that I recognized there were areas to heal and that acknowledgement is the first step towards it.
Emotional me recognizes that at times the feelings of the blues is my body telling me to slow down or stop so that I can nurture the inner girl. It forced me to seek and uncover where I lack. Perhaps I’m working too many hours, facing a hurtful situation, not treating the body right or having a hormone shift and in dire need of chocolate.
Emotional me assures me that whatever pain that afflicts me is temporary. She reminds of times past and urges me to find a friend when the cloud of blues lingers on a bit too long.
Emotional me coax me to apologize after an irritable moment and encourages me to choose future dialog that will build instead of tear down (internally and externally).
Emotional me is the chick that tricks me many times into believing I should dress beautifully and escorts me happily into the shoe store to buy pair number 75. Ah yes she reminds me to buy or give hubs a little something so that he doesn’t freak out on the latest purchase.
Emotional me, emotional you… Too often we chuck valid emotions as being too emotional. We beat ourselves up, drive ourselves crazy and sometimes become more emotional because of it. We feel we’re not allowed, so we become more depressed and become more emotional and it becomes a vicious cycle.
To acknowledge emotional you is to embrace the essence of who you are as a woman. It doesn’t provide an excuse to reign as a woman gone wild but offers the acceptance that you love deeper; you’re wired to nurture, are built with a 6th sense intuition and have tear ducts that activate at a drop of a hat.
When you understand that about yourself, you begin to learn, as with everything else in life, that there’s a need for balance. Don’t ignore, belittle, or get exasperated with emotional you. Find out what she’s trying to tell you…LISTEN.
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