Are You Too Emotional?

 In the quagmire of emotions, I often found myself trying to find the balance that is considered right and acceptable. The do's and don’ts used to always float inside my head. Did that ever happen to you?

• Don’t cry too much. You’ll come across as unstable and weak.
• Woman, you never cry. You come across so cold.
• Woman, you feel too much. You have to stop wearing your heart on your sleeve.
• Let him do all of the work. Don’t show so much love.
• You’re too sensitive. You need to become (fill in the blank).

All those outside voices required an apology and acknowledgement of what I needed to be or become.

But eventually I had to step back and look at me, emotional me, and I had to quiet out all the other voices. When I did, I began to realize that there was a season for all sorts of emotions. It came with the life happens that occur from time to time, like the stress of being a mom with young children; the pain of losing someone dear; the regret of wrong choices; the anxiety of too many changes occurring simultaneously; the risk of diving into the unknown; the betrayal of a friend; the burden of holding on or letting go; or the challenge of starting over (to name a few).

Emotional me discovered that tears were not necessarily a sign of weakness but often a display of love, happiness and yes hurt and pain. But to feel meant I was alive and not dead to my senses. It meant I was living and not existing. It meant that I recognized there were areas to heal and that acknowledgement is the first step towards it.

Emotional me recognizes that at times the feelings of the blues is my body telling me to slow down or stop so that I can nurture the inner girl. It forced me to seek and uncover where I lack. Perhaps I’m working too many hours, facing a hurtful situation, not treating the body right or having a hormone shift and in dire need of chocolate.

Emotional me assures me that whatever pain that afflicts me is temporary. She reminds of times past and urges me to find a friend when the cloud of blues lingers on a bit too long.

Emotional me coax me to apologize after an irritable moment and encourages me to choose future dialog that will build instead of tear down (internally and externally).

Emotional me is the chick that tricks me many times into believing I should dress beautifully and escorts me happily into the shoe store to buy pair number 75. Ah yes she reminds me to buy or give hubs a little something so that he doesn’t freak out on the latest purchase.

Emotional me, emotional you… Too often we chuck valid emotions as being too emotional. We beat ourselves up, drive ourselves crazy and sometimes become more emotional because of it. We feel we’re not allowed, so we become more depressed and become more emotional and it becomes a vicious cycle.

To acknowledge emotional you is to embrace the essence of who you are as a woman. It doesn’t provide an excuse to reign as a woman gone wild but offers the acceptance that you love deeper; you’re wired to nurture, are built with a 6th sense intuition and have tear ducts that activate at a drop of a hat.

When you understand that about yourself, you begin to learn, as with everything else in life, that there’s a need for balance. Don’t ignore, belittle, or get exasperated with emotional you. Find out what she’s trying to tell you…LISTEN.

Also see www.rozhumphreys.com/resources

Guilty Prayers - What Do Yours Sound Like?

What do your prayers sound like?  Are you constantly asking God for forgiveness, or during conversation with others. Example: God forgive me but ... and then you tell your story. Did you ever wonder why you do that? 

Why is it that we constantly ask for forgiveness when we're praying or explaining something that we are uncomfortable about, or know God would not be pleased? 

Do you think that we've been conditioned to think and talk this way?  

Your head is probably spinning with all the questions, but I bet it really made you think about the way your prayed, and how many times you say I'm sorry or God forgive me. When you think back, you may remember your parents doing the same, perhaps family members and even preachers. Those words have become an ingrained part of your vocabulary and, let's face it, probably soothes your soul....or guilty conscience. 

How do you get passed the guilt and religiosity, and enter into the freedom that God has given you? 

It's all about relationship. It's in relationship where you discover that God no longer holds anything against you. John 19:30 confirms that, but that passage will remain words on paper if you do not have an intimate relationship with Holy Spirit. 

How do you cultivate an intimate relationship with Holy Spirit? 

You talk to him like you do any other person you esteem highly and want to get to know. Perhaps to you that sounds too simple. That is because it is. 

The God-relationship is usually made complex when it's the contrary. Just like you speak to your significant other or a best friend, you can begin conversation and cultivate a relationship that will become intense and deep, if you so desire it. 

Here are some steps that can get you started. 

1. Invite Holy Spirit to be part of your life every morning. 

2. Ask his opinion whenever you're feeling challenged, confused or sad. 

3. Learn to listen. (Get my book Spirit GAL Hear.) - Click Here

4. Do what he says. (That's explained in my book as well.) 

Think of how often you look someone up that you want in your life and do the same. Yes! It's that simple. 

Next time we will be covering the following: 

Is guilty praying religious or is it considered being honest with God? 

Life's Too Short for Tantrums

You’ve seen it in every supermarket. You know what I’m talking about. It goes like this. Toddler wants something, gets denied and the fuss begins. Some toddlers will bypass the fuss and just throw themselves on the floor and will display a fit that will embarrass most parents.

Have you ever had that type of moment? I know I have.

I have resembled one of those toddlers  and let’s just say I’m glad God is not Puerto Rican.

A few years ago,  I was really peeved with God because he allowed my husband to have a heart attack. As time progressed, my anger became a toddler fit. I think God got more than an earful to be honest with you. 

I remember thinking, I want to be immune. There is no reason why we should go through problems or illness. I’m supposed to be special, your favorite….what’s up with that. (I know God must have been laughing at me at that point.)

God is so gracious. He knew that eventually I would shut up, and I would listen to him and get it. I needed to get a grip. Life is too short for drawn out tantrums.  So here are some things that I knew but didn’t want to hear during my toddler fit. I'm thinking they will help you too. 

1. You and I are not immune to anything on this earth; nada, zero, zip. Somehow we forget that there is evil in this world whose goal is to take us out.

2. All things work together for good. I don’t care how bad it is, God will always step in and will bring good out of any situation. It’s been my experience that the worst tragedy in life has brought the sweetest mending.

3. If you don’t get anything else straight in your head, get this one thing in case you didn’t get my first point. God does not bring illness or death. Everything negative is as a result of sin. It freaks me out when people say oh God took him. The last time I checked, the only person who was taken went in a chariot straight on up to heaven and he bypassed – and YES....waved as he passed the very shocked demon of death.

4. God is on his throne and he is in control. Some of you don’t get and this is why you live so frustrated. As long as God is on the throne of ‘your’ heart, he remains in control of ‘your’ situation.

5. If God is in control of the situation, no matter how bad it gets, it will – it has to turn out alright at the end. This will give you peace, no matter what the outcome is. You will always be rescued.

6. Here’s the big question…so why do bad things happen to good people? Go back to point one. You can sit and get lost in this question for the rest of your life…or…you can decide to make the rest of your life the best it can be by adjusting your attitude and expectation. Expect good even in the worst of circumstance.

7. Here’s a reminder. This journey here on earth is just a short stint. We are eternal beings. What drives the enemy insane is that he knows that…so…he throws in the misery factor in too in the meantime. If you want to fight right, be happy.

The one thing that stood out the most is that God allows adversity because it will always make you grow. It will put you in a place where you are more sensitive to hear, receive, learn, acknowledge and understand. It stretches and challenges you to become a better you and to depend on God just a bit more. Note I didn’t say God brings it – he allows it – and if he allows it, he has much trust that you can get through it.

The going through but the growth will always be invaluable. I still want to be immune but that’s okay because one day I will be…and that reminder always puts a smile on my face.

God's Voice Echos

A while back, there was a book I once read called “The Sacred Echo” by Margaret Feinberg. She had a realistic, down-to-earth way of explaining how God's communication can resemble an echo. She referred to it as an echo because He often repeats himself several times; not for His benefit but for ours. 

We often hear clearly but are cautious and wonder if it’s our Jiminy Cricket. However, a lot of us have discovered that when God wants something, He’ll continue to nudge until you reach that AHA moment and concede with God.

I learned from that book years ago and started to make note of how God spoke to me over the years. What I paid attention to was the different ways that God speaks and how we often miss it.

Years later, I compiled all that knowledge in my upcoming book, Spirit GAL Hear! which will be become available on June 30 on Amazon.

Many wonder why they should want to hear God and my question back to them is why wouldn't you? Why would you want to serve a God that doesn't speak back? Wouldn't that get boring after a while.

The book will answer all of your burning questions about God's voice. I pray that it blesses you deeply as it blessed during my writing it for you.

You're My Girl

Some times, I have the privilege to come along side one of the gals and become their cheer leader within part of their journey. The other day, one of my grasshoppers called and shared a story that warmed my heart. Like many others during this time, she experienced incredible economic hardship. I have to admit that there were times that I was at a loss for words and I even questioned God and asked why He couldn’t move faster. That probably sounds a bit daring on my part, but if you have relationship, real relationship, you understand that it is not done out of disrespect – frustration perhaps but never disrespect.

What is it that puts you in that place where you can question but trust God at the same time? It’s relationship…not surfacey relationship…not rescue me…but the real deep I can’t live without you type of deal. It’s when you get to the place of - Even if it gets real bad, it’s gonna be okay as long as you’re with me. That’s Mia. There were times where things were ugly and she would always come back after one of her rants and say but I trust God…it will work together for good. And I would reply many times, I can’t wait until the day you give me the good news of the miracle that God has done in your life. I would take it further and assure her that one day I would…and I did.

When I heard the excited voice on the other line, I knew. I had a smile probably as big as Mia’s on my face. She recanted about her interviews but what caught my attention were three little words. It just echoed in my soul. Before she entered into her second round of interviews where she was going to be bombarded with tough questions by six executives, Mia had taken ill. She pleaded and was desperate to hear from God. Right before going in, she heard His voice clearly. “Let’s go in there and show them what a blessing you are to them. You’re my girl.” Immediately she felt peace and her spasms subsided.

What is it that moves the heart of God to say “You’re my girl?” I think it’s the same thing that moved Him when he said “This is my son with whom I am well pleased."

Many of us feel that God can’t think of us in that way because we measure ourselves against our faults instead of His grace. But when you have relationship – true relationship – you can’t help but feel God smile upon you. You feel it each morning as you greet the creator of the universe. You feel it during the day through others. You feel it when you live your purpose daily. You can’t help but feel it as you say goodnight, grateful for another day.

“You’re my girl” reverberated in my soul. It reminds me that each day He celebrates me, even when I’m unaware. It reminds me that even when there is no rhyme or reason, when life sucks and things don’t go my way, I’m His girl. He didn’t say atta-girl or that’s-a-girl like some of my friends do. He made it very personal and said “You’re ‘my’ girl."

I love intangible gifts. They seem to stay with you forever. This reminder is one of the best of them and the greatest gift for me is that I got to write about it. =)