Either He is or He Isn't

There are times when we hit a juncture in the road and we question everything we’ve been taught and believe in. This often occurs when hardship or tragedy strikes us at the very core. It makes us question the sovereignty of God. In most cases, these raw moments become a benchmark for change.

A Broken World

In the United States, we pride ourselves in the freedoms that most countries do not have. However, there is a freedom that we all possess that surpasses all others. It’s called the freedom of choice. We are free to choose everything and anything for our lives. It’s our God-given right, and it is something He will not violate. This includes the choice to live a life with or without God.

We live in a broken world. To ignore that is foolishness. We all recognize that there is good and there is evil. However, for some reason, it’s become easier for many to blame God for everything and easily dismiss the reality of driving force behind what’s evil.

Unanswered Prayers

Our families had been healthy for the most part but a few years ago, a few things occurred that really tested our faith to the very core. One of those events was the death of my cousin’s 4 year old son; my nephew. You see our prayers weren’t answered the way that we expected. We prayed for healing. Our expectation was to watch him grow up to be a strapping young man.

Many of us call ourselves Christians but we really don’t understand what that means. Usually it’s a title we use to define our religion. Here is where most of us miss it. We go through the motions or traditions, but we often wonder if God is really out there, especially when our prayers go unanswered.

Either He Is or He Isn’t

It was during one of those junctures in my road that I questioned, I mean really posed the question to myself. Either He is or He isn’t? I was tired of hearing about what God could do, and I was tired of not seeing that in full effect in my life.

When I questioned this, it had nothing to do about my salvation. I knew I was saved. Acknowledging His existence was not a challenge. The challenge was to allow Him to work in my life and the choice to believe in His sovereignty in any case and trust Him in all and with all.

The easiest part for me was to accept sovereignty. The hardest part was to trust totally (an ongoing journey).

• To trust totally meant that my prayers had to change and become bold and daring and not continue to be wimpy and wishful.
• To trust totally meant that when I prayed, I had to hand it over and not obsess and stress over the situation.
• To trust totally meant that I had to relinquish total control or the illusion of control.
• Finally, my expectation had to become that the answer to my prayers were no longer restricted to my time line or the confines of my exact request.
  

AJ’s Legacy
I don’t know why my nephew died at such a young age. I believe the answers to my whys will become clear one day because living here is just a prelude. I will see AJ again and I look forward to watching him race with the angels.

In the mean time, I don’t let my unanswered questions weigh me down. What’s the point?

Here’s what I do know. I know that my nephew made an unbelievable positive impact in his 4 short years that many do not make in a lifetime. Other prayers were answered because of him. His ripple effects are still being felt today. That continues to bring me great comfort.

The Choice

Here’s something I live by.

I refuse to live a life stuck in the past, a life wondering about the future and a life scared to live in the present. How? …I’ve chosen to trust God.

Either He is or He isn’t…and for me…He is.