I Try to Notice

God shows me His power, His grace, His mercy, His love, His compassion, His beauty - everyday... I try to notice.

The reason I use the word ‘try’ is because my day can be harried or busy enough for me to miss out what is being shown to me every day - without fail. When the conscientious effort is made to notice, a smile touches my lips, peace is ushered in and connection to the heavens continues.

Each day, we catch a glimpse in our moments of light, as my sister Mayra says, where we’re reminded of His presence, joy, love and beauty.

How does that happen for you? If you’re not sure, let me share some of my insights and then perhaps you can share as well.

It’s in the small things. It’s in the kind words, the unexpected hug, the compliment or the 2 minute phone call from someone you love.

It’s in the routine. It’s in the comfort of coming home, sitting in an office, driving to the grocery and in the rules of engagement with others that those routines bring.

It’s in the obligations. It’s in the caring, feeding, educating and bathing of children. Their smiles, laughter, stories even challenges, bring a reminder of our God like no other.

God can be blatant and extravagant in his blessings and that’s when we most tend notice, really notice. To operate in that mode of extravagance will not give us the ability to survive the now and the present. We must notice the small, the routine, even the obligations, for God is always in all. To ignore that fact, that truth, imprisons us. There is no freedom – only religion.

God is not limited to the building, the pew, our beliefs or interpretations. He is ever present and in expectation for us to discover him, again and again and again.

Yes, God is ever present...just stop as often as you can and notice.

DREAM BIG!

What would you ask if you knew that Jesus was going to sit by you as you lay to sleep at night? I thought about that the other night and the answer that gushed out immediately was – “I would ask for forgiveness”. Perhaps the thought of his perfection overwhelmed me and all I could think of was all of my shortcomings.

What would you ask next, was the question I heard in my heart quite clearly and my answer surprised even me. “I would ask what I could do for him”. The reply to my second question was amazing and only two words, “Dream BIG”.

I dreamt about those words off and on that entire night.

We attend a church where we have a pastor who knows how to dream BIG. That’s all he does. I can’t remember a time he doesn’t do anything on a small scale. He also does everything in excellence. That has been an inspiration to countless of us and it’s no doubt why some of us think the same way when we venture out into our own deep, uncharted-waters.

It’s not bad to dream BIG, but there are a few who think that way. Perhaps it’s because they look at what they can bring to the table instead of what God can. Maybe they had a failure in their past that has crippled them to progress towards their future. It could be that they’ve been told otherwise their entire lives.

But what if – what if Jesus’ purpose for doing all that he did, for laying his life, was meant to give us everything we could possibly imagine? If so, wouldn’t you, the scared, stuck one want to take advantage of all life had to offer?

Dreams pave the way to reality only when the dreamer allows something bigger than themselves to overwhelm them into its grasp. It consumes their being until they have to surrender to it and follow its leading. It doesn’t matter how big it is because there is always that reassurance that God is there – and – since God is the giver of BIG dreams, the walking out of it will always be under his guidance even when we can’t see what’s going on behind the scenes in that unseen realm.

Dream BIG echoes in my mind and with each passing moment, I am excited about the possibilities but most importantly what realities we’ll experience very soon. Life is about looking and experiencing forward. We can choose to live in greatness, just as God intended, or we can continue to live and fear and miss out on the beauty of life. I’d rather fail trying than wonder what if.

It’s my sincere prayer that you continue to move forward, even if you’re going through a rough spot. Remember that God is with you, no matter what. Don’t stop to dream BIG and don’t let life’s bumps deter you from doing what you’ve been called to be and do.

Dream BIG…

Invest In Yourself

One day in one of my mentorship classes, one of the gals shared how one of her friends asked why her family was so well put together. At first she started to feel guilty because in comparison, her family was basically great. She then realized she didn't have to feel guilty because she had put in a lot of time, sweat, tears and prayers into her family. I understood her all too well.

Sometimes we put so much time into family that we forget as women to invest into ourselves. We get lost somewhere between the diapers and the prom. When college rolls around, we wonder who is this woman staring back at us in the mirror.

One of the things I loved about the city churches growing up in NYC is that we always had something to do; an event going on. My friend Elizabeth D. Rios, who we lovingly call Liz, became one of the women in my circles who became a proponent of women being educated. It didn't necessarily mean getting a PHD, but it did mean being in constant learning so that we could keep up with the changing times.

She took up the helm of leadership and created an organization to help women become leaders and to further support women already in leadership. Why am I bringing her up as an example?

There are too many women who are not investing in themselves and believe that the care of family is all that is needed. The problem with that mindset is that they are bringing the wrong message to their children or sphere of influence as an example. I am not talking about necessarily going back to school, but I am pointing out that it is important to constantly be reading, learning, attending classes, seminars and conferences that are going to expand you.

As a mom of 2 gorgeous women, I know the importance of trying to keep up with the demands required to keep up with my educated daughters. Their mindset is different than mine at that age, but there are certain biblical principles that will always remain the same . I share them and reinforce them, no matter what, because my lifetime of learning will not sway me otherwise.

As a woman, are you ready to stand within your beliefs and not be swayed or apologetic for them? It's not enough to be educated for the here and now, if it doesn't include some solid bible lessons along the way. We emphasize so much on education but have shrunk back on bible teaching and that begins at home. If you're not taking time to study and know who you are in Christ and know and portray how valuable you are, you pass that gap down to your kids and sphere of influence. You reap what you sow.

It's my hope you take the time to invest in yourself. What that means is that you take the time to answer the hard questions that have an eternal impact. Often we forget this place is a a pause and we all have a responsibility of ensuring that we leave a legacy towards heaven when we transition off into eternity. Morbid...no way. Reality...oh yes!

The Power of Gab

Have you ever visited the land of Gab? If you’ve had the pleasure of visiting the Humphreys’ fortress you’ve probably had the full effect of the experience. (I say that with teasing affection.) My family is graced with the flair of gab. We can out talk most and even compete amongst ourselves. Lately I’ve been honing into the discipline of listening. I’m learning that when I free my mind from planning out my answers or arguments, and I pay attention to a person’s eyes and body gestures, I understand much clearly what is trying to be communicated. Of course there are times when one of us becomes so wrapped up in conversation that there is no choice but to listen. Ever come across such person?

In the Same Rut
Ever wonder why every time you see certain people they seem to be in the same rut they were days, weeks, months or years ago? Chances are that when you speak to these same people, they will recant the same story about the circumstances within their lives. They will demand your attention, draw out your sympathy (if possible), and leach onto you for comfort. Sounds awful, doesn’t it, but think about it…aren’t we like that some times when it comes to certain crisis in our lives?

A lot of us do not realize that we hold the power of altering our circumstances. We chuck bad things that happen to fate, and do not take ownership or responsibility to the contributing factor. We rather not believe that life is what it is because we made it that way. Life does not just happen. It is carefully orchestrated by the choices we make.

To Do or Not To Do
During our choice process, we do a lot of internal and external talking. We ask ourselves and others if we should or should not do certain things. If you start to do some deep soul-searching, you’ll probably recognize the few times when you were your worst enemy because you talked yourself out of doing a lot of great things. You convinced yourself that you were inadequate, incapable, didn’t have enough smarts, did not have enough experience, or was not talented enough to accomplish what was at hand. Unfortunately none of us leave it there. We then justify our decision by stroking our ego and comforting it by saying to ourselves that it’s a good thing to know our limitations and its okay to stay within our boundaries. It is safe.

Stuck in Safety
Life is no fun if you’re not moving forward. It becomes a dull routine and causes depression. When you’re life is not flowing in a positive direction, it becomes motionless and stagnant. It begins to stink after a while and the stench is not limited to you, it begins to exude. Ever walk by someone who hasn’t showered for a few days? Life becomes just like that when you decide to exist and not live.

Choosing to move forward doesn’t necessarily mean going back to school and finishing up your Bachelors or reaching for a Masters. Too many people get hung up with education and feel less than if they do not have a degree. Degrees are a good thing. I do not knock them. I am a proponent of education. However, learning goes far beyond books and the classroom.

What is Your Dream?
Ever day dream about something constantly and wish you could some day make it a reality? All of us have a deposit of talent. Just like a bank, we are the only ones that can make that talent grow. If we do not continue to deposit, it will never gain in value. It will remain as a small investment. Often times we forget that we carry an investment because we or others have convinced us that the talent does not belong to us. This is what internal and external dialogue does when it is unhealthy and negative.

In the Land of Gab there are two sorts of giants; the positive and the negative ones. They both fight fiercely against each other. The Positive Giants are constantly trying to pull the Little Folks out from under the Dark Lords of Negativity. They learned long ago that the tongue, as small as it is, has the power to speak life into any situation. Everyone in the land of Gab wants to possess the ultimate power. Some use it for evil while others use it for good.

The Weight of Words
Did you know that the power of gab is inside of you and that your tongue chooses the territory you should reside in? The influence of words is often downplayed because a lot of people do not recognize the force behind them. The weight of words is the driving power in any setting. The use of words determines the outcome. The bible, the ultimate guide, emphasizes the importance of the spoken word.

I remember a time when I was so tired and discouraged about my day that I would end it by saying to myself each night “I don’t want to remember this day”. I did this for a few months and realized that I couldn’t remember a lot of what was happening during that time. Some of you may think that’s not a bad thing, but when you have kids you really don’t want to forget the precious moments. That time period till this day remains a blur. I changed that negative closure of my day with a positive statement instead. Each night I thank God for giving me an incredible day even when things don’t turn out quite as I planned.

Do you know that each day is a blessing, even if you’re missing something in your life? Let’s say you’re in need of a job, look at it as an opportunity to speak it into existence. It doesn’t mean sit on your tush all day and start chanting come job, come. It does mean, however, that you continually speak into your life about your qualifications, and most importantly, speak to others about what you want and expect. What does that give you? It gives you self-affirmation, which we all need from time to time, especially with today’s market, and speaking to others opens up the door to a larger network.

The Grumble
Now don’t confuse complaining with positive speaking. Complaining is actually the most detrimental thing you can do in your life. No, I’m not saying never to complain, but when it’s all you do, it doesn’t promote change. Look at it this way. If what you’re doing is bringing the same result, it’s time to change how you do things. This change may also include tapping into your talent.

Negative speaking does not uphold anything healthy. What happens when you constantly tell yourself you’re fat? You get depressed and binge. What happens when you constantly tell yourself you’re depressed? You do things that you think are comforting you but what it’s actually doing is sinking you down into a deeper depression. All of these negative dialogues have to be replaced with positive ones.

Power of Gab
It is said that it takes about 30 days to establish a habit. Imagine how long it takes to break a bad one. Make it your goal today not to be a Little Person or a Dark Giant. Be kind to yourself. Love yourself dearly because in doing so you can pour out to others. Learn to think before you speak. Remember, the power of gab gives you the authority to speak life into any situation. Before you dismiss it, try it. You’ll be surprised how (positive) little words can bring forth great things.

Curious Love

Do you know that nothing can separate you from God’s love? That statement will only make sense to you if you have a deep relationship with the Almighty. It will comfort you if you need to be reminded. It will encourage you, if you have fallen away from God or do not currently have a relationship with Him.

To understand God’s love is to experience it. One can try to explain it as best as one can, but experience brings it to a level where it cannot be denied. When you discover how deep God loves you, no one can shake your core beliefs. No one can change your desire to pursue the light of God’s love. Circumstances may rattle you but instead of letting go, you hang on because you know that depth of love is like nothing you’ve ever known before.

It’s such a deep and personal experience, that it becomes hard to explain, because it is simple to explain. The simple explanation of God’s love frustrates those who hear about it, because they do not understand. They do not understand because they focus on the bad that has happened in their lives and conclude that God is not love or cannot be love because He is to blame. Quite honestly, any of us would feel that way with that mindset.

It’s our human nature to want to blame God when tragedy happens because He could have stopped it. It’s our nature to blame God when circumstances happen that could have been changed by Him, even if it was because of our own doing. However, it’s also our nature to only pray to Him when things are going bad or we are desperate. Somehow we forget Him when all is well. And yet even when we forget about God, He waits patiently. Most of us would not bother with someone who forgets us constantly, but God actually is thrilled when we remember Him.

Instead of God being human and saying forget you when you reach out to Him in crisis, He gives His best to comfort you. His heart breaks because some things could have been avoided if you understood the authority you receive when you accept Jesus as Lord and Savior. You will never avoid bad stuff entirely, but you at least begin on an even field and then quickly move into the winner’s circle. What does that mean? It means that even when you lose in life, all is not lost.

There is always hope, when you understand, when you have accepted, when you embrace that God loves you and nothing that has happened or that you have done can change that. You may never understand the whys but you do know you are loved. It’s not a regular type of love. It’s a love that is deep and undeserving. It humbles you and it enraptures you.

It’s my hope and my prayer that you become curious of this love and that it encourages you to experiment just like you have with everything else in life. Hasn’t life’s motto been - before you knock it, try it?  Just talk to Him as you would a lover and a friend…constantly.

Romans 8:37-39 NIV

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

The Bounce Back

After a Fall snow storm one year, I noticed that my youngest tree was completely covered and weighed down beyond recognition. I thought to myself, that tree will never survive. As the day grew warmer, to my amazement, the tree began to straighten herself out and her branches began to go back to their original position. By the end of the day, only one branch looked like it was damaged. However, within a few days, that young tree proved me wrong yet again and she was back to normal as if nothing had occurred.

I began to wonder about the things in life that had bent me out of shape but how I had recovered. Although it took me a little bit to straighten out completely, I eventually did. Sometimes I have gals ask me, how did you get through and quite honestly I answer I didn't. God got me through. There are just certain things you cannot do by yourself -- at least I've learned that I don't want to get through them by myself.

Let’s be real, the weight of life will always be present and it's during those moments where you have to decide to trust God and let it go. You will never achieve that until you spend time with him, and once you do, you will discover that God's goodness is always readily available to you.

If you're feeling like that tree, take heart, the snow will eventually melt.

I believe that the tree's roots were strong, but I also believe that she became stronger because she survived such a harsh storm even though she was in her Fall Season. (That's another great lesson in itself.)

You're probably thinking, of course she survived, she was young and I'm no spring chicken.

The youth portrayed here is the drive that should remain within our relationship with God. Have you ever observed a new Christian? They seek after God full force, are open to hear from him and get really excited each time they do.

My youngest tree is probably about 20 years old now. She's weathered many storms here in the Northeast but she still stands beautifully. I believe you can do the same.

Gum Under the Desk

Remember those days when you used to stick your gum under the desk at school? For some of us it has been a long time. If you’re like me, you’ve probably forgotten when but you do remember you did it.

Gum under the desk, like hurts in our lives, are usually forgotten until things get hot. They stick with us as past reminders and their presence are not felt until they become soft again. Unresolved hurts creep up when we least expect it and are hard to shake off. Just like the gum, they are fastened tightly and refuse to move. This does not mean, however, that gum from under the desk can never be removed.

There is a technique that janitors use today to remove gum. They freeze the bottom side of the desk and make the gum hard. They then painstakingly scrape each gum off of the desk. Sounds like a dirty job, huh? The number of gums depends on the age group of the school. The higher the grade, the more gum there will be. The older we get, the more hurt we’ve experienced.

Most of us can blow past certain hurts; however, there are specific areas in our lives that we choose to ignore. These areas remain like those pieces of gum hidden where no one can see until or unless we become vulnerable. The janitors can never remove all the gum. Some pieces are smeared and become too thin to pick off. Heart wounds are the same way. They run deep and often remain with us for years.

We are in a culture where being self-sufficient should be enough. Dependency on others is frowned upon. Dependency on God is ridiculed. We rather live with unresolved hurt and have a heart spotted with old gum. We have become afraid and are reluctant to receive a heart repair because the job may become a bit dirty.

Gum by nature is sticky. It hardens and softens based on the temperature. Heart wounds are the same. These wounds do not go away until they’re addressed. Some wounds need to be taken care of by God who has the power to heal. He often waits to hear from us but can only heal when invited to do so. This is part of the package given to us called freedom of choice. God cannot operate in our lives unless we ask Him to.

Decide to live with less gum under your desk. Face those ignored hurts. Live in the fullness of joy. Don’t let those gummy spots continue to remind you of a past that is no longer there. Let’s face it we all are guilty of sticking some gum under the desk, but it’s not until we admit it that the process to heal begins.