Do I Love Me Series: The Patience Towards Me

The patience to heal will provide you a balanced life. To actively seek wholeness is God’s plan for your life. When you are healthy, you can provide or be a catalyst of healing to others. God has called you to be a healer to others and to promote wholeness as well.

The patience to forgive will provide you a cleansed life. When you forgive yourself, you tell God that you accept His full forgiveness and that the power of the cross, the blood that was shed for you is more than enough. You mimic Jesus and love the way that the Father has asked you to love.

The patience to let go of something or someone will keep your life aligned. God will put in your path people that will help you reach your greatest potential. If you do those things that are beneficial to you, it will give you the push to be all that God has seen in you before the creation of the earth. Amazing…isn’t it?

The patience to endure will keep you steadfast. To endure yourself means that you will have the patience to endure others in your life because you recognize that we’re all human. We are all on a destination and you need to love you despite where you may be presently at.

The patience to get where you are going will keep you on the right path. That path is yours alone. No one else can walk in it for or with you for too long. It can be a lonely journey or it can be peppered with the right people that God sends to you. He will bring people that will help you get to where you are going because it requires team to do what God has called you to do.

The patience to become a better you will keep you humble. It is not based on what others have said about you but what God says. Your measurement is against His standards and therefore, you remove all expectations that society or culture may have placed. You understand your position and your role in God’s kingdom and apply the servant

approach to all things.

Your Declaration

I am long suffering towards myself because it is the way I show love to my inner gal. I will be patient and choose to heal my inner gal. I will be patient and choose to forgive me. I will be patient and will release that something or someone that is a hindrance to my spirit and soul. I will be patient in my journey and will endure where I am at because I have the blessed hope to get where I am going and to become a better me. 

Do I Love Me?

Do I love me?

Sounds like a selfish question, but it is not. Often we look at 1 Corinthians, chapter 13, as the love chapter for others, but it is supposed to start with us…you and me. The reality is that if I can’t love myself, I can’t love another fully and correctly. If I constantly pour myself out or keep others first, I will deplete or give what I don’t have eventually. If I continually pour into another, it will hurt me because it will create an emotional gap. Even if I’m following 1 Corinthians 13 to the best of my ability, but don’t apply it first and foremost to me, I will eventually die or create a grave for myself emotionally.

Your inner gal needs to be nurtured. She needs to know that you love her and that means that you give her the time and attention that she needs. To love me is to stop and to ask, what is it that I need today emotionally? What am I missing in the rush of doing life? Am I really balanced inside or am I teetering?

Often, we pray and ask God to heal different parts of our soul and then wait. But, that’s not how God works. He always provides guidelines on how to heal. He requires that we take certain steps and certain actions in order to heal. Often, those steps are really hard. No one likes hard, but isn’t that how we grow?

God loves you too much to keep you where you’re at. He loves you too much to keep you at a place of disappointment, of hurt and of depletion. He wants so much for you.

God wants abundance and yet many of us live in the shadow of fullness. We don’t live wholly because the picture that we have painted for ourselves is that of a sacrificial gal. We say, “God will be pleased with us because we serve, because we are women who give of ourselves and because this is what is expected of us.” This picture that has been painted for many of us is far from the truth. God wants us to serve the most important person in our lives first…ourselves.

The question is…do you love yourself enough to do that?

Your Heart Motivation

What is the motivation of your heart, at this moment…right now? You know, the deep emotions that help you make choices.

A woman’s emotions are the driving factor for many of her decisions. Unlike our male counterpart, many of us have not mastered the logical side of decision making. I have to say, it is one of the many things we do become aware of, and we adapt to as we get older. That’s the good news! But, what should be done in the meantime?

1. Pray. Run everything by God. He will reel you in when the tears and the raging hormones 

    want to throw you into a fit of panic or sheer witchiness. (By the way, neither are Godly.)

     

      2. Bounce your emotions against a girlfriend that is more balanced than you, and will tell you the 

          truth. (You don’t need a “Yes girl, I know what you’re going through” gal, at this moment.)

     3.  Ask yourself, is what I’m experiencing and feeling right now, influence me to make the right 

          decision without regrets in the future?

What does all of this have to do with the motivation of your heart? Everything.

A woman, who is cynical, will look at life through the eyes of sarcasm. Her mannerism and responses will always be like a hot, scalding iron.

A woman, who is a people pleaser, will look at life as the constant obligation to say yes and be liked. Her life is filled with insecurity, and she is the shadow of her real self.

A woman, who has been or is being abused, will look at life with fear and will ensure that she protects herself in ways that keep her imprisoned. Her life is filled with excuses and blame.

A woman, who lacks confidence, will look at life as an impossible journey filled with pitfalls and distractions. Her life is lived with caution and dismay. Unfortunately, life continues to pass her by.

Perhaps, you do not relate to any of these women, but I bet you are guilty of having the wrong motivation at one time or another. You have said something you really did not mean. You made a decision that was wrong, because your heart motivation lead you down the wrong path. You lied to someone, or screamed at them, or did something to hurt them, because the thought of getting even was alluringly sweet at the moment.

The motivation of the heart, your heart, has a tendency of being your guide. The bible says that out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. Therefore, given that fact, the motivation of your heart also causes you to speak words that may hurt you and others, as well as bless yourself and others.

There are times that a heart inventory is in order, but it cannot be done unless the inventory includes the motivation of each of your thoughts and actions behind it. What is the motivation of your heart this moment? What are you contemplating or dwelling on?

Perhaps it’s time for you to take inventory and pray.

It’s in those quiet moments, when we ask God to keep us holy, that we find where our true motivations lie.

Watch Your Conduct

One day a friend of mine called and began to share the hardships that she was having with her husband. Before I could catch myself, (my mouth sometimes gets ahead of me), I told her, you need to watch your conduct.

Needless to say, she got very quiet on the other end and I began to tell her the reasons why. It’s been a while since that conversation. Things have changed in her household, not only with her husband but with her children as well. She watches her conduct.

The way you act, the way you respond to those around you, creates, establishes and maintains your environment. Women set the tone of the home. If that is true, a home that is not a safe and/or peaceful haven has a tendency to point to you, the woman. Before you disagree, I am well aware that a woman responds to her man. However, when a man is incapable to give you want God expects of Him, you have to make a choice. Will you let him dictate your moods or will you rise above and be the God gal that you’re supposed to be.

Your conduct, how you act and respond is not to those around you but to Him above you. Your conduct should align vertically. If God will frown upon it, you shouldn’t do it. Unconditional love takes work. It doesn’t come naturally.  Unconditional love forces you to look at you first and see your shortcomings. We are so ready to point fingers and list grievances, but fail to look within.

Weigh your words. Weigh your responses. Be conscientious of the faces you make, the muttering under your breath,  the sighs, ughs and gggrrrrrsss. Your conduct reflects Christ. If you want your home, your relationships and your environment to be ideal, look within. Nobody dictates your mood but you.

Easier said than done…absolutely, but not impossible. 

Down with Holiday Stress!

The holidays can be a very stressful time for many. It's because of the whirlwind of decorations and entertainment that come along with it. The pressure of what to buy adds to what is already a harried month. I admire a friend who opts out of buying gifts for family and instead cares for others in that space. She donates her resources both in time and money, and instead chooses to receive the intangible gift that comes from giving to a complete stranger in need.

Look around you for a moment. Perhaps you're reading this in the comfort of your home or your job. Both are a blessed place even if it's not the ideal place you had in mind. When you begin to look at life from that perspective, the appreciation levels rise and so does your happiness. Discontentment grows from lack of appreciation for what is yours, right now. Arriving does not mean the accumulation of stuff. Reality is that you will never arrive. The wonderful thing about life is that it is a constant journey that brings new adventures and adversities.

I had the privilege one time of sitting in a workshop that was about adversities and walked away with a new perspective. (Self-education is such a good and necessary thing.) I have a habit of bringing God into my stuff, so of course it became the topic of conversation. My aha moment was when I realized that adversity, big or small, can be a propelling point and opportunity, and not just something that is negative.

Here is what clicked in the brain. Adversity pushes you into opportunity. There is always a solution. It may not be one you like, but when you push through, it gets you to a better place.

So how does this apply to holiday stress? Stress is an adversity. Find a solution not just to lower it, eliminate it. This will require effort and nobody likes effort. As a matter of fact, no one likes a lot of effort. We have become a 'let's make it easy and convenient' society and have created lots of lazy people who are frustrated, unfulfilled and living a sub-standard life instead of extraordinary.

Are you willing to invest in you to make a better place within your circle of influence? It's easy to walk away or ignore. I say let's be different and make a positive, ripple-effect in our world.

Watch out stress - you are going down! Well...at least we're going to give it our best effort.

Hint: If you plan carefully, you can eliminate the holidays stress and blues! If you didn’t do enough planning this year – lesson learned – start earlier, lots earlier, next year

The Won Factor

One of the first things I learned when I was in Israel was that the word ‘coincidence’ does not exist in the Hebrew language. It is easy to accept when the stuff that happens is a blessing or something that is good. The feeling changes when it is a tragedy, an illness or anything bad.

I’ve had moments of two-year old tantrums where I asked God, no straight out screamed at God, why He has let certain things happen. The reason is because I felt like I was his favorite, privileged and should not be subject to go through anything bad. I am different. I am His girl and under His protection. Nothing bad is supposed to happen to me.

Judean Desert

The shock of the reality and consequences of living in a broken world makes me angry at God sometimes because it means I have to fight once again and I’d rather He fight all alone on my behalf. (Sounds selfish huh?) It’s not long after I have kicked and screamed that I realize that I need to put my big pants on and fight like a girl…okay a big girl. What that means to me and should mean to you is that we’ve already been taught how to fight and because we’re God’s daughters, we have the backing to win.

The sacrifice of Jesus ushered in the ‘won’ factor. Notice that is past tense. What most of us miss during a battle is the fact that we are fighting from the stance or should fight from the stance of knowing that we will win. You cannot lose. I cannot lose. We have the backing of the God of the universe. It does not matter what the circumstance is, we’ve won.

Perhaps you cannot accept that you have won at the present time because you are so clouded with the negative of your situation. That is actually a normal human response. However, we are not to fight from a human perspective. We are to fight from our spirit 'know'.

If you refuse to believe what the bible says, you will lose. It is as simple as that. The biggest hindrance to a believer is unbelief. The partnership and covenant between you and God comes at a standstill because both parties have to be in mutual agreement for the same purpose.

Fear drives, fuels and maintains unbelief. Belief is a choice. Either you believe the whole God package or you don’t. When YOU choose to believe a past experience of failure, you tie the hands of God because he cannot operate in unbelief. When you choose to believe what God says despite of what the situation brings, the won factor is activated and has to come to pass.

You have the won factor…believe.

              In memory of my sweet Marian Gavish. Until we meet again. I know it was not
              a coincidence that you were my guide in your beautiful country. 

Romans 8:31-39 We are more than conquerors.

Sisterhood Connection

It’s very apparent that there is strength within relationships. There is a unified front with a common purpose, especially with a band of women. It is a beautiful and a dangerous thing. Some people call it sisterhood. I don’t think that there is a clear understanding of the word sister. The word automatically brings most to the comfort and security of family. Trust spills into that space. Love surrounds and is handed off as a great, glass of cold water for a thirst that can never be quenched.

Relationships don’t allow for continual sadness or the stronghold of depression. Instead, it encourages healing and challenges for the looking forward to. The bonds keep us accountable, one to the other, and that provides a sense of significance. The encouragements propel us to begin to walk in our gifting – to display our talents that we long to share because they provide deep fulfillment. The laughter makes our souls dance within, with the knowledge that there’s more to come… yes…more to come.

Perhaps I am sentimental at heart because the value of friendship – of sisterhood, has no price tag. When I think of my sisters within my home front, I cannot help but smile when I remember the endless conversations through the all in going. I find comfort in family. They are my refuge; a place of safety.

To have all those qualities within the extension of friendship is what I’ve been designed for. No one has been created to be alone. Isolation has always been one of the greatest ploys used to break the spirit but it was never meant to be for any of us.

As connections continue to happen, I believe that God smiles because that was His plan all along. There’s unity in the power of us. There’s protection in the chords that intertwine and keep us in each other’s lives over the years. We are prayed for, loved, appreciated and cherished, even when we are not present. We’re thought of with memories that cannot be erased throughout a life time. We are missed when there is the distance of time or space.

Why do so many of us feel alone then. Perhaps it’s time to become purposeful in our relationships. It’s time to send that text, email or pick up the phone. It’s time to take the drive or make that date. Fill yourself with the anticipation of that connection. Smile. Know that you are never alone.

Inspired by Yvette, Bea, Jo, Lynn, Crystal and Shari.