Emotional Me...Emotional You

In the quagmire of emotions, I often found myself trying to find the balance that is considered right and acceptable. The dos and don’ts always floated in my head.

• Don’t cry too much. You’ll come across as unstable and weak.
• Woman, you never cry. You come across so cold.
• Woman, you feel too much. You have to stop wearing your heart on your sleeve.
• Let him do all of the work. Don’t show so much love.
• You’re too sensitive. You need to become (fill in the blank).


All those outside voices required an apology and acknowledgement of what I needed to be or become.

But eventually I had to step back and look at me, emotional me, and I had to quiet out all the other voices. When I did, I began to realize that there was a season for all sorts of emotions. It came with the life happens that occur from time to time, like the stress of being a mom with young children; the pain of losing someone dear; the regret of wrong choices; the anxiety of too many changes occurring simultaneously; the risk of diving into the unknown; the betrayal of a friend; the burden of holding on or letting go; or the challenge of starting over (to name a few).

Emotional me discovered that tears were not necessarily a sign of weakness but often a display of love, happiness and yes hurt and pain. But to feel meant I was alive and not dead to my senses. It meant I was living and not existing. It meant that I recognized there were areas to heal and that acknowledgement is the first step towards it.

Emotional me recognizes that at times the feelings of the blues is my body telling me to slow down or stop so that I can nurture the inner girl. It forced me to seek and uncover where I lack. Perhaps I’m working too many hours, facing a hurtful situation, not treating the body right or having a hormone shift and in dire need of chocolate.

Emotional me assures me that whatever pain that afflicts me is temporary. She reminds of times past and urges me to find a friend when the cloud of blues lingers on a bit too long.

Emotional me coax me to apologize after an irritable moment and encourages me to choose future dialog that will build instead of tear down (internally and externally).

Emotional me is the chick that tricks me many times into believing I should dress beautifully and escorts me happily into the shoe store to buy pair number 75. Ah yes she reminds me to buy or give hubs a little something so that he doesn’t freak out on the latest purchase.

Emotional me, emotional you… Too often we chuck valid emotions as being too emotional. We beat ourselves up, drive ourselves crazy and sometimes become more emotional because of it. We feel we’re not allowed, so we become more depressed and become more emotional and it becomes a vicious cycle.

To acknowledge emotional you is to embrace the essence of who you are as a woman. It doesn’t provide an excuse to reign as a woman gone wild but offers the acceptance that you love deeper; you’re wired to nurture, are built with a 6th sense intuition and have tear ducts that activate at a drop of a hat.

When you understand that about yourself, you begin to learn, as with everything else in life, that there’s a need for balance. Don’t ignore, belittle, or get exasperated with emotional you. Find out what she’s trying to tell you…LISTEN.

Get Dressed...Feel Pretty!

Some friends and I talked about how important it is for a woman to dress up. It makes her feel pretty. It's not about vanity.

It is easy to become careless with self as a person gets older. One of the things my mother drilled into us is that you need to dress appropriately and for the occasion. Although we don't follow it to the T, my siblings and I still take great care how we represent our family and that includes how we dress.

We know that our mom would be embarrassed if we looked constantly sloppy or walked into church or dinner disheveled. A lot of our friends look at us and say, you haven't aged. We actually have, of course, but we take good care of how we look. Again, it has nothing to do with vanity. It is loving oneself enough to invest the time.

We not only represent our family but we also understand that we are the reflection of God and represent His family. We understood that when we dressed up for a Sunday service, we honored God. I guess that impression stayed with all of us and we took it beyond church.

Do we wear jeans, sweats and forgo makeup. Heck yea! However dress up is not limited to clothes. It is smelling nice or pretty, making sure your hair is cared for, not being afraid to try new colors, throwing on some polish, shaving! You know the basic care to remain attractive for your significant other. That stuff is important but you see people let themselves go, and they don't realize that the lack of care impacts their self-esteem because eventually they don't feel good about themselves. It tells their partner, I don't think you're important enough to keep the attraction, and it tells God, I don't care to be a reflection of your family or a reflection of you for that matter.

Get Dressed today. Have fun and feel pretty or handsome. Each Sunday we take a selfie in church during service with the person we sit with. So if you dress up today after reading this, go ahead and take a selfie and represent proudly.

(Inspired by my book - Get Dressed! Life has stripped you...NOW WHAT?)

No Eres Victima. You are Not a Victim.

No eres victima. You are not a victim.

What is past tense, does not define what you are today. The reason you don't move forward is because you hang on to the past or to the labels that have been placed on you.

Others do not determine who you are. You do. There is a choice you are given every moment, of every day to believe. What you believe defines you.

There are many things, positive affirmations tied with identity that God says about you. None include being a victim. If anything, you are called an overcomer. What that means is that if it's in the past, you have overcome that situation. If it is in the present, even if you don't currently see a positive outcome just yet, you have overcome that situation. If it's coming in your future, and you can't avoid it, you will overcome that too because God said so.

If you're smarter than God than you will doubt the words you've just read. It takes crazy abandonment to do certain things in life. Why not use the same energy to believe the positive labels God has placed on you instead of remaining stagnant.

I dare you...

You are Courageous!

Often the focus is on the times we were cowardly or scared. Yet each day, we live courageously.

You have the courage to do your job and do it well. You have the courage to drive a car amongst maniacs. You have the courage to step into the unknown time and time again.

What is the unknown? It's finishing college and stepping into the work world. It's buying a new house. It's having a baby. It's starting a new business. It's facing a disease that can potentially kill you. It's the choice to deal with whatever comes your way in any of these choices...or more.

You may see courage as a valiant act but what it really looks like is the ability and choice is to live for more. You look forward and grow continually. You grow and you evolve constantly. That my friend, takes, and is courage.

Balance of Fun

The word fun is defined by the individual. What is considered fun for one person is not for another. However, all would agree that whenever we’re involved in a pleasantry that makes us happy, we want to repeat that action. Life is full of fun, but society’s inclination of more work and little play has caused us to take life a tad bit too serious.

Too Busy for Fun
Take the workaholic…they average 60-80 hours a week and when you ask what they do for fun, chances are that they will say nothing. This is because they don’t have the time. Why do so many of us use our jobs as an escape? Often times, people try to avoid their reality. It is easier to remain lost in a world of proposals, projects and numbers. It numbs the brain and the heart. It helps one ignore the issues that haunt them and provides a valid excuse not to address what’s bothering them, especially when others are involved. Work becomes their lifestyle and companion.

More and more, we see young adults forgo friendships and relationships for the sake of career. Fun seldom comes around or disappears altogether. One can argue that sometimes sacrifice is required but at what cost?

It’s been said time and again that life is not a dress rehearsal. You only get one chance at it. We often live with little thought of tomorrow. We assume it is owed to us and expect life to continue the next morning. We believe our relationships will remain the same even if we don’t take the time to nurture them. Isn’t it ironic how we invest so much time into our work because we know what the end result will be but act completely surprised when our relationships fail? It is so easy to blame work because of the hectic schedule, but we fail to see that we are at fault because we do not prioritize our lives correctly.

What about Fun?
Fun should not be an option in life. It should be a staple. Fun should be prioritized as one of the top items. It shouldn’t be something we fit in. It should be something we live. Some will say that work is fun and it should be. However, when the results of fun hurts those you love most, it is a sure indicator that you are spending too much time at it, or that whatever you’re doing is just plain wrong.

God clearly says that we should live a joyful life. If we live in misery, it’s time to stop and take inventory. Yes, life throws us some sadness from time to time, but we should be able to smile, even if it is only on the inside; an indicator of contentment. Fun is not limited to what you do but how you live. It is also a state of mind.




Spoiled Nation
We’re spoiled in the United States. We are by far one of the wealthiest and most pampered-nation. We complain about the silliest things and we forget about our brothers and sisters in third-world countries who would cry for joy if they had a quarter of what we owned. What we take for granted, they would probably consider fun. It would be fun for them to watch their children’s faces as they chose whatever clothes they wanted to buy and be able to afford it. It would be fun to watch these same kids go to school. It would be fun to watch their family eat until they were full. All these uneventful things would bring them happiness.

We would not view any of these things as fun or as a source of happiness. For us, these things will happen because they have, for as long as we can remember. Everyday, we miss the fun in life because we choose not to see or acknowledge it because we don’t prioritize or make a conscientious effort to notice.

Balance of Fun
We only get one chance at life, here on this earth. Life should be fun, no matter what we undertake each day. The balance of fun is a matter of choice. It is based on our views, attitudes and priorities. We tend to be quick to complain and resist change. A lot of folks miss out on the life that God intended for them. They choose to live miserably because they feel they have no choice, when in reality they did choose. They chose to remain in their misery and do nothing.

Don’t let life pass you by. Live fun, laugh in fun and love with fun. Learn to notice the small things, the big things…all things and let it bring a smile to your face and joy to your heart…every single day.

Glass and Your Heart

Glass is designed in different colors, different shapes and different sizes. However, for the most part, they are flawed. They have the weakness of breakage. 

A woman's heart is the same. No matter how strong she may appear on the outside, she is vulnerable. We all are. 

The bible says, guard your heart because it's the source of life. What that means is that whatever you harbor, will be reflected in your do. You can often tell a woman's condition by her posture, her dress and her words.

Balance of Food

There’s nothing like the sweet smell of a home-cooked meal as you walk in through the door of your mom’s house. All your senses come alive and your mouth begins to water with anticipation. No one can come close to mom, grandma, or Titi’s (aunt) cooking. They all have that knack for making anything yummy. In our case, all activities revolve around food with our family; still does today. We have two staples – God and food!

As we mature, okay grow older, we realize that we can no longer happily indulge when it comes to eating mom’s cooking as often as we’d like. Latinos love rice; any kind of rice and our moms find great joy in piling it on their children’s plate. Unfortunately, Latina women have a tendency to spread towards the bottom as time progresses. (Guess where the rice is going.) Oh and forget portions. They think you’re starving yourself if you’re getting a spoonful of anything.

It’s no longer a mystery that we must all watch what we eat including those that whose shape resemble that of a rod. As for those that are not blessed with thinness…we have made the disappointing discovery that metabolism grows older a lot faster than we do and moves painfully slow.

Food…Anyone?Of course when anyone says food, we automatically think about our stomachs. However food can also be used in the context of our minds. In either case, nourishment to both is important to provide a balanced life. Each in its own right, impacts the other.

Take a close look at your diet today. How much processed-food have you eaten so far? Chances are that quite a number of us have consumed some type of soft drink and have swung by a fast food place, without thought. We are accustomed to eating poorly and have gotten used to functioning without the right levels of energy. Those diminishing levels impact you in a subtle way when you’re younger, but as time progresses, there are changes that become quite evident.

Healthy habits, when it comes to food for the stomach, will promote positive changes in our bodies and that includes our minds. A sluggish body influences the mind and vice versa. When you feed both mind and body the right stuff, it provides incredible synergy. One without the other could never bring the high level of positive impact and balance needed for healthy living.Just like our stomach, our minds crave and wants to be fed everyday and with variety. Of course it’s up to us what we supply. If we decide to continually feed ourselves garbage, we’ll eventually get sick. It takes a conscientious effort to choose what’s nutritious. It takes discipline to stick with that choice day after day. It’s not easy, but in the long run, the reward is a healthy body and mind.

All of us want to live forever but our choices have the potential to alter our lives in a negative way. The food we provide or fail to provide, whether for stomach or thought, can influence or alter our physical or mental state. Some behaviors can lead to physical issues that can shorten our lives (IE: high cholesterol/blood pressure) or mental issues that impact those around us (IE: depression). In either case, there is a potential to hurt those we love or be unable to finish what we’ve been purposed for while on this earth.

We are God’s temple. Close your eyes and imagine that for a moment. The Holy Spirit dwells in you. Now look at the flip side. God has graced you with people who love you deeply. These two reasons alone should drive you to balance your food intake but it’s not enough.

Balance of Food
The driving force to balance food for your body and mind should be because you’ve learned to love you. God can love you and so can your family and closest friends, but if you have total disregard for your being, you will have no motivation. People feed their bodies and minds unhealthy stuff, for many reasons. Often times it’s because they’re unhappy. It is their way to escape reality. They’d rather run from their issues then face the hardship of fixing it or letting go. Of course one can argue that some do it for the pleasure, but what feels good or, in this case, is yummy to the palate and mind, may not necessarily be right for you.

The balance of food occurs when we have the right outlook of ourselves on the inside. This does not happen over night and never ends once we begin. It requires adjustment with every challenge and change. It’s not impossible. It just requires work and commitment as individuals.

Did you know we are in preparation for eternity? Today a friend listed some of the things she wants to hear God say about her when he says well done. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could accomplish all that we were supposed to because of our choice to balance, well, all the areas of our lives? It’s never too late. Balance your food today. Live, thrive…and eat!