Waiting in Forward Motion

This past weekend was a time of reflection. I guess death does that. It draws you to review that person’s life and highlights their achievements above their failures, unless all they sowed was a fiasco of disappointments.


My friend’s dad was an exemplary patriarch who reminded me so much of my own father. He left a legacy that most men would envy and wish for. Death forces us to face our mortality and it brings us to a place of soul analysis where you start questioning “What am I doing with my time here? How am I spending it? What legacy am I forging”?

When I finally quieted down inside, God showed me that there are instances where we waste so much time waiting idly, when we should be waiting in forward motion.

Life’s choices require us to go with the correct timing.
However, we have become an impatient society because everything we are offered happens in the now. All the comforts and conveniences with today’s technology have conditioned us to maintain a fast and unhealthy pace. This environment will either propel you to burn your candles on both ends, thus burning you out; or frustrate you to the point of doing absolutely nothing…also known as giving up.

Waiting is part of life whether we like it or not. I am guilty of being impatient. I want it now and at times will even throw a tantrum. Of course, hindsight will always show me my immaturity and the cost that my impatience has incurred. Sometimes those same tantrums will cause me to throw in the towel during the waiting. I dig in my heels and say “No more. I am not going to move forward. I’m just going to sit here and just let life pass me by”. But who am I really hurting? Oddly enough, I’m sure you can relate we start to sound like the pouting-five year old who menacingly says, “I’ll show them. I’ll just sit here in my closet and ignore them.” Or perhaps even sound like the rebellious teenager, “I’ll show them. I’ll run away.”

You’ll often hear me refer to this as running while standing still. It’s when inside you’re running away from anything and everything, shutting down the things you don’t want to face or feel like you can’t handle. You fool yourself in thinking that it’ll resolve itself or go away as you wait idly.

Waiting idly is the most powerful and detrimental stance you can take and enforce upon yourself. This giving up of the hands is what causes people to become homeless, remain jobless, stay in abusive relationships, enables them to continue drinking or taking drugs, drives them to alienation or suicide, and maintains every unhealthy emotional hold in their lives. This state of immobility will rob you, cheat you, and kill everything that holds your potential for happiness, progress and success.

We fool ourselves in believing that we’re not idle because we’re focused on everything that needs our immediate attention and even handle it pretty well. However, sooner or later that one thing or things that you have been avoiding will creep up on you and zap you right where it hurts.

So what is waiting in forward motion?
It means exactly that…doing while waiting. There are just certain things you can’t have right now. You have to wait. Some times it’s because it’s not available. Other times it’s because you’re not ready. And of course, there are just certain things that you should not have and the beauty of waiting is what reveals that, right?

It’s not enough to believe while waiting. You have to do while believing. You believe you deserve a nicer and bigger house and there is nothing wrong with that. The question is, what are you doing while waiting to get that bigger house?

Forward motion while waiting requires an action from you. Let’s face it; there are a lot of things in our lives that just won’t get resolved over night. Moving forward will some times require us to:

• Forgive and let go. Forgiveness frees us because as long as we hold a grudge, the person that wronged us keeps control over our lives.
• Voice our hurts. No one is a mind reader and you can’t fix what you don’t voice or acknowledge.
• Get help. There are just certain things we can’t get out of by ourselves.
• Find accountability. At times we require someone to keep us accountable be it for a weakness or goal.
• Face it. Stop ignoring the issue. Whatever the mistake or issue is know that you are human and we all have a God that says you have another chance. It’s your choice to accept that chance or not.
• Set a plan. If you don’t see your vision or dream before you, it’s hard to remain consistent even after failure.

Oma Gertrude said to me yesterday as she looked intently into my eyes, “Don’t let a moment slip you by. Once that moment is gone you cannot get it back. It’s gone forever.”

How many idle moments have slipped by us in the busyness of avoidance? Life is not about work or how much good we do. It’s about living life with purpose and in doing so you and I impart the gift we possess thus enriching everyone around us. The legacy of that enrichment only remains when we make it a point to move forward in any circumstance including and most importantly in the waiting to get there.

In memory of Opa Gerhardt Voggel Sr. whose life inspired this piece, and in

honor of a man whose legacy will continue through his children.

Beyond Mistakes

Have you ever wished that walls could speak?


This is my favorite quaint little café in the Webatuck Village. It has that homey rustic feel, and its menu offers hearty breakfast delights and yummy triple-decker lunch sandwiches. Much of the interior will remind you of what a house may have looked or felt like in the 1800s. As you walk to any area to be seated, it creaks a bit. It has the typical fire place, and my favorite part of the décor, is the built-in library. The old wooden shelves happen to have a few first edition books as well as some classics.

Although those walls cannot speak, our internal ones usually do. You know those walls…the ones you don’t want anyone to hear. Just like an old house that keeps mum about its tenant’s life within, we in turn do the same.

Do We Really Show Who We Are?
Quite a few of us would answer no; at least not all the time. The whys may be for many reasons, but probably the main factor is because of hurt. Sometimes the hurt stems from things someone did to us, or things we caused or contributed to. In any case, we usually are our worst critic and beat ourselves up for not being a better judge of character or for not making the right choices. All we know is that a blunder has occurred that has altered our lives and we, in response, buckle down, slam shut our doors and windows; some times forever.

The Confounding World of Mistakes
Would you agree that all of us make mistakes at one point or another? It’s part of life, right? Growing up, we’re told that over and over again by parents, relatives, teachers, and well – anyone who crosses our path during our childhood. We learn early on about bad and good, but as we get older, we find out that there is some gray that can be thrown into the mix.

What is the Gray?
Gray is that area where bad can be good and good can be bad, and this whole flip flop is open to interpretation. I believe that it’s in the gray areas where most mistakes are done. It’s the zone that we enter into when we want to justify something we know in our gut is not right. It’s the locale where conscience is numbed, and the region where our hearts win over our head. Judgment of character gets clouded or disappears altogether, and emotions take the lead. Add some passion in your grey-belief and you can kiss goodbye any logical thinking.

Ouch…those Burns Hurt

We start to think rationally again once we’ve been burned, scarred, maybe even charred. How do we avoid being raked across the coals again? Our initial instinct is to shut down and stay away, or attack and then disappear. Everyone has their own style of coping. However, what happens and what will you do after this first reaction? Will you continue on the path of silent hurt or will you acknowledge, grieve, and move on? You will not and cannot move forward or upward until you acknowledge the hurt, understand how you got there, and most importantly take action not to get yourself in that position again.

Remember when you discovered at a young age not to place your hand on a hot stove? You made sure you'd stay away, but as you grew older you grasped the value of what a stove can do, as long as you followed the instructions and guidelines for using it. Did you know that life is just like that? We too have guiding principles for living, but when we choose to go outside of them we willingly playing with fire, sometimes knowingly, and end up getting scorched or razed.

Now Wait a Minute…
Perhaps some of you are saying, what happened to me was not my fault! Your statement would be accurate if the pain was forced upon you, IE: abuse, etc. However, we’re talking about the mistakes we make through life’s journey which would include staying in an abusive relationship (by the way).

Speaking Your Heart
The worst disservice you can do to yourself is to become like that old café; unable to speak. When you can’t voice your heart, you start to creak inside. After a while like any aging house, you’ll need repair. The difference is that a house can be repaired in days or weeks. We, humans, can take years. As emotional beings, we need to feel loved and accepted, and during crisis it’s so important that we have a support person or person(s) that will help us grieve, heal, and even point out our blundering ways. One of the most important qualities of a good friend is one who is not afraid to tell you when you are wrong, even when it means pouring some salt in the wound (as my best friend would say).

Who’s In Control?
The act of forgiveness is a liberating experience, and plays an important part of moving on. As long as we hold grudges, feel resentful, and harbor the hurt, we remain in the prison we meticulously have created. As long as you hold on to all those things, the person who wronged you maintains their negative dominance over your life (even if they’ve forgotten about you and have moved on!)…how bad is that?

The flip side is self-forgiveness. Do you ever wake up in the morning and say, today’s to do includes, torturing myself mentally for what I did a gazillion years ago because I just love the pain I feel when I drudge up all of those old memories. Sounds kind of sadistic, right? But…that’s what a lot of us do. We bring to remembrance past mistakes over and over again, believing that our martyr ways will somehow redeem us.

Getting Beyond Mistakes
As we face the reality of hurts, mistakes, and the learning that comes with it, the stretch usually brings us to the point when it’s time to let go. Here is where a lot of us add to our existing mistake; we hold on. We’re afraid to let go because we won’t have the drive, anger, or that evil-grin, strategizing energy to plan out our vengeance. As sweet as it may feel at the time, eventually it can be exhausting as it drains the life out of you. Letting go means doing just that. Don’t hold on to it. Don’t dwell on it. Don’t entertain the hurtful thoughts. Let it go. When you remember, chuck it as a lesson learned and experience that will help you assist others. It’s amazing how our experiences come into play during somebody else’s crisis.

Remember, God’s love brings forgiveness to the undeserving. How much more forgiving should we be? Okay so we’re not God, but as His children it’s something we should incorporate into our lives anyway. It sure beats living miserably and helps us live, really live, beyond our mistakes.

Me and Gardening...Ha Ha!

Brave little me decided to try my hand at starting my own modest flower bed. I’ve been living up here for a few years and have never even attempted planting anything. I do not possess a green thumb and have killed every single house plant given to me. Yet for some insane reason, my creative juices gave me the impulsive notion that it was time to try something new. So like any other newbie, I went in search for Mums (flowers for the upcoming season) and chose the colors that would be pretty and stand out. (How girlie of me.) I even decided to buy a small, cute little fence to go with my creation as part of the design.

Well imagine me proud as can be with all my supplies when my other half began to ask if I had a plan. A plan…who in the world has a plan when trying to create a flower bed? Obviously every one except the creative newbie. In my mind when I first thought of this project, Mums across the house seemed like a good idea. However, as I stood in front of the bed, my vision just didn’t match what the bed needed.

As I knelt down to dig, my husband continued providing guidance by telling me that I had to clear the mulch, dig the holes a certain way, make sure I poured a certain amount of water, break up the mum roots for each bunch, and make sure I covered and patted down the dirt correctly. What happened to a relaxing afternoon of gardening?

Being the teacher that I am, of course I looked at this whole endeavor from a learning perspective. It was no surprise that at first this whole thing frustrated me to no end. Being a hands-on person has its benefits. You know work it out first, look at the instructions or books only if you get stuck. This little routine works most of the time, but there are just certain times in life where you have to swallow the pride, listen to instruction, and do as you’re coached; especially when it’s coming from people who’ve done whatever it is a lot longer than you have.

Although, I didn’t exactly follow all the steps in the right order and received much needed help towards the end, the final outcome was better than what I had envisioned.

I truly believe that God has a great sense of humor, and He takes advantage of these little comedy scenes (ok its comical now) to help me understand life a little better. I mean, here I am excited with my little vision of how things should look in my front yard, but the need changed my plans. Next I wanted to do it alone, my way, but had to admit I needed help. It, of course, got worst. I had to accept help.

God reminded me what relationship with Him is like at times. We envision something a certain way based on want not need, and we want to go about it in our own way. Eventually, though, we all come to the place where we admit we need help and accept it. Without fail, the final outcome turns out to be much better than what was first imagined.

Me and Gardening...Ha Ha. Who would have thought!

Magnificent Mayra

Have you ever referred to anybody as magnificent? Yesterday I had the opportunity to do just that. We celebrated my “2nd” sister’s (milestone) birthday. (I cannot say which milestone as I am under the women’s code of silence of not divulging any age after year 25.)

I call her my 2nd sister because as you get older, the importance of family takes on deeper meaning. Although she is known as my sister-in-law to many, to us she is just another one of us. We feel the same about her entire family. There is no distinction.

A game at the party required we write a word to a letter of the alphabet on an index card, and a little paragraph on why we chose that declaration to describe her. It was fun because it gave us all an opportunity to kid around. It also provided us the chance to tell her what she meant to us and gave her a glimpse of how she is seen by others; especially those closest to her. My letter was M and my first impulse was to write the word Magnificent.

I am blessed with being surrounded by very strong women. What excites me most is watching how a lot of us have stepped up in the passing of the torch. There has been quite a bit of trail forging, and in doing so, it has magnified the significance of becoming a magnificent woman.

Although my sister is 12 years my junior, her wisdom surpasses most women I know at my age. (Forget it, I’m not telling you my age either.) Observing her over the years, I’ve had the pleasure of seeing her morph into a valiant woman who has not only found her voice, but also empowers others to find their own. She is a deep-well of knowledge who is not afraid of dropping her bucket as far down as she can in her thirst for acquiring more.

So what makes her so magnificent? Her ability to grow and adapt, her teachable spirit, her compassion, and selfless giving, are just a few attributes that automatically come to mind. Her qualities undoubtedly classify her as being impressive to the mind or spirit. This is actually one of the connotations for the word magnificent (by the way).

Without a doubt, this describes my sister. M for “Magnificent” Mayra for that is what she is.





Happy Birthday Mayra!!!!!

Dancing with Sir Compromise

A dance is just a dance; or is it?


Dancing…I love it. It doesn’t matter if I have a dance partner or not, what type of music (in most cases), or where I’m at. I’m one of those people that will bop up and down in the supermarket or jig within any clothes store in the mall. This, of course, embarrasses my family (hee hee). I love rhythm. It helps me unwind, defocus, and puts me at the pace and pulse of the beat. I have to admit a lot of times my dancing is within the soul.

Who are you dancing with?
Throughout life we dance in distinct ways. As I dive into the 5th chapter of my book dealing with choices, I am finding that often times we concede due to compromises we make when we really shouldn’t. Have you ever had a twirl with Sir Compromise? He seems to always show up when you’re in the middle of the dance floor of tough choices. He’s the one that persuades you that it’s okay to bend the rules a bit or stick with the tiny, white-lie. He’ll even convince you in believing that you’re the hero of the hour even when the matter-at-hand is ¾ good and ¼ bad.

Twirling and Twirling
Sir Compromise is quite the dancer. He’ll twirl and twirl you during the decision-thinking process, making sure your sight becomes distorted. The focus becomes your dancing partner, and he’ll constantly prompt you to keep in step. Forget about trying to study any aspect, or stepping back to see the whole picture. Remember he’s a pro and wouldn’t want you to step on him, trip, or worst…stop dancing all together.

When the twirling stops…
As the twirling-dance slows to a stop, you’re out of breath, dizzy and need to grab on to something fast so that you don’t topple over. Decisiveness now dominates and the choice must be made. You want to concede to Sir Compromise even though nothing was clear during your reasoning time, because your analysis did not include your belief system or your conscience.

Dancing with one Partner
Dancing with Compromise alone, never gives Lady Belief and Jimmy the Conscience the chance to balance out your tough decisions, as Sir Compromise urges you to go with your gut. Hey and why not! We live in a world where we are encouraged not to conform or believe in absolutes. Heaven forbid you step back long enough to see we daily conform and mimic each other to fit into the world of absolute oblivion. We are told to live the life of anything goes forcing us to anesthetize values. How then can you trust your gut when you’re constantly numbing “your” sense of right and wrong?

Walking Away with Compromise
Each of our decisions has a ripple effect in our life. Whether we choose to accept it or not or whether you believe it or not, quite a few of the decisions you make affects others. When we dance with Sir Compromise, we ignore Lady Belief’s beckoning to come and sit for a while, and drown out the voice of Jimmy the Conscience. On the arm of Sir Compromise dizzy and out of breath, you choose his way of escape and promise of kingdom bliss. You feel happy and relieved, but as you take one last glance at Lady Belief she still motions you to come back and sit, and you finally hear Jimmy the Conscience’s last screaming attempt “don’t do it”! Sir Compromise points to the castle in the horizon and the long red carpet set before you.

The Red-Carpet Treatment
The carpet looks magnificent and plush as Compromise continues twirling you every once in a while. Happily you walk with your rationalizing companion, never noticing that the passage is narrowing and the walls are closing in. Abruptly Sir Compromise bids you farewell and tells you to follow the red-tattered road. You turn to protest, but somehow he has disappeared. You’re alone and cannot go back because, unbelievably, the passage way has also disappeared behind you.

Red Strings
As you move forward it feels like the ceiling is now creeping downward. Your chest begins to get tight as you become aware of the mistake that you have made. You’re alone and afraid because you realize that the ceiling is slowly inching down, the walls are still coming in and you are now forced down to your knees. You can only move forward and no matter how many times you look back, all the passage ways behind you have closed. Down to a crawl, you can hardly fit when finally you see in front of you a small entrance. Moving quickly you inch towards the doorway as quickly as you can to find that getting through will require you to slide through it on your belly. Looking down your eyes widen in disbelief as you notice that the beautiful red carpet is all but red strings.

The Crawl
As you crawl on your belly, using your elbows and legs to push through, you start to feel the sting of scraping skin. As incredible as this seems, the worst is yet to come. You tilt your head up only to find that the ceiling is right above it. The pounding in your chest is deafening as the space your crawling is getting tighter. You continue to move forward at a snail’s pace when all of the sudden you notice the lights are dimming. You close your eyes and grit your teeth in complete frustration with your decision to listen to Jerk Compromise. It’s totally dark now and all you can do is feel your way through. Your head is brushing the ceiling, your body aches from the awkward position you’re in. You have bumps, scratches, scrapes and bruises and all you want is for this nightmare to end.

Meet King Consequence
As you’re wishing away the dream, the unexpected happens. The floor gives way. Down you fall, in the dark, hands and legs flailing helplessly. With a loud thud you land. It takes you a while to grasp you’re surroundings but when you’re finally able to focus and straighten yourself out, you find that you are at the feet of the throne of King Consequence. Before you can even get up, he welcomes you into his kingdom and advises you that he expects you be his loyal subject just like Sir Compromise. “I’ll name you Pauper Oblivious, a slave you will be…to the dungeon of regret with you in my palace of disbelief.” This is when you realize with sad disbelief that Sir Compromise and the King are an unsympathetic, unforgiving, and ruthless beings.

Harsh Reality of the Dance
This may sound like an awful fairy tale but it is the reality for a quite a few. This story is not about the compromise to reach a happy medium for good, but the compromise that creates hurtful results; especially for you. So the next time Sir Compromise extends his hands for a dance ask yourself if that twirl and rumba is really worth it. Chances are you’d rather sit it out and chat with Lady Belief and make Jimmy the conscience your new best friend.

Healing in Worship

For the past few days, I have felt like I have been on by my knees emotionally. The loss of my uncle was a bit more difficult than I had anticipated, but how can you predict a reaction for something like this? Some times we base our past experience on a present occurrence only to find out that what we applied yesterday is not working today. I buckled down on the only thing I knew for sure was my comfort, my belief that God is always there for me.

Every one has a vice or an outlet that they use to cope during crisis. I learned during the loss of my nephew a few years ago, that digging in my heels and not wavering in my acknowledgment of God’s sovereignty kept my heart sensitive and open even when nothing made sense. Too many times people want to blame God for everything that happens or does not happen. It would’ve been easy to be mad at God and scream why but I knew, at that time, the importance of embracing God’s comfort. It has been a place of safety that I have relied on for many years. I know where to run to when I’m hurting.

Why acknowledge God’s sovereignty?
When we begin to recognize that God is in control even when everything is beyond our control, we are reinforcing our trust in Him. God doesn’t need to know He is sovereign. We, however, need to be reminded of that time and again. It is so easy to point the finger at God when things go wrong in our world, but that’s what some folks do, use Him as an escape goat, rather than admit that some times things happen because of poor choices. Let’s blame somebody, so why not God? Isn’t it a bit naïve to think that if there is good there is no bad, that if there is a God there is no devil? The other extreme, of course, would be to blame the devil for everything but reality is people give him way too much credit.

Trusting God
At first it can be hard, especially when the circumstance nudges us to be negative. Our first question internally is “how can God love me if he allows bad things to happen”? There are a few truths that a lot of us forget from time to time.

• We are not of this world
• We are just passing through.
• We are on the first leg of our journey.
• The ruler of this world is Satan.

Nevertheless, he has no dominion over those who have accepted Christ in their lives as Lord and Savior.

So why is trust in God so important? It is an essential piece to your survival on this temporary journey. If you don’t trust God, I mean really trust him, you will always feel like someone is out to get you and that life sucks and then you die.

What’s in it for you?
Your confidence in God will put you on a different level each and every time you’re going through a rough spot. Your reliance in Him will help you through the day to day. When all is a jumbled mess outside of you, your hope and belief in God will give you an inexplicable peace inside. It’s not a magic potion. It’s experiencing God’s faithfulness in your life no matter what the circumstance is.

Healing in Worship
My favorite past time is singing to the Lord. I get lost and can tune out my world every single time and it’s just me and Him. I enter another realm and it is the most peaceful place. It is here where I let go of my pain, stop the focus of it, and just embrace God’s comfort. It is during worship where I find healing and where I receive it.

Healing in worship doesn’t occur when you don’t trust. You have to believe in God’s faithfulness and in His goodness for you to receive it. Accepting these two key factors as true cannot happen unless you have relationship. No relationship…no trust.

Perhaps you feel that God has let you down in the past. Has He really or was it a circumstance that was created by poor choices by you or someone else? Study the whole picture. Some times we fail to see or miss all the small details that God took care of during an awful situation.

Don’t miss the opportunity to invest your time in the most important relationship you will ever have in your life. It’s within that investment that you’ll learn that you’re never alone. It is because of that investment that I know I can always find healing for my body and soul in worship.

To Live or To Exist?

The valleys in upstate New York are magnificent during the Spring. One can see an array of colors as life begins to renew itself. There are purple hues across the mountains, evidence that trees are starting to bud. Spring not only brings life, but also contentment, and excitement to all who live in the northeast as we look forward to warmer weather.

Dormant Trees

A lot of trees in our area go into dormant state during the winter. They go through a series of biochemical processes during autumn that serve as protection during the cold months. They lose their leaves, branches become bare, and growth virtually stops. The trees look as though life have left them.

Imagine for one moment that you are one of those trees. How would you feel if someone thought you were barely alive because your branches had no leaves? If they could hear you, perhaps you would say something like, “How could you not know I am dormant? Don’t you know I will bud in the right season?” Fortunately trees do not talk. If they did most of us would run away.

How Are You Living?
If we were to walk around your tree, what would we see? Would we see buds, flowers, or bear branches? How does that question make you feel? If it makes you feel uncomfortable, chances are that it is time to take inventory of your life.

Most of us do not like to soul-search because it forces us to acknowledge areas that may hurt and require change. We’d rather ignore these sore spots, and like the trees, our issues go into a dormant state. Hurt makes one shut down. When we choose not to deal with issues, our spirit eventually begins to look a lot like the bare tree that exists and no longer lives.

The Bare Minimum
Existing is actually described as living on the minimum level. A lot of people choose to live on the bare minimum, and eventually go into automatic as a result of it. Everything becomes habitual. Life turns into a comfortable existence. Folks who fall into this complacency hide behind the façade of routine. Each morning they wake up with a list of things that need to be completed. This list can become quite extensive. If they’re married and have children, it can be overwhelming. In order to survive, they shift into automatic, so that they can maintain some sanity in their fast-paced home. Is this beginning to sound like you?


Perhaps you think that this is not a bad thing. We should incorporate schedules and good practices. We would probably all agree that routines are a necessary part of life. However, routines can also become detrimental when one chooses to hide behind them. When this happens, personal growth is not evident, and life’s opportunities are ignored or missed.

Detrimental Routines
Have you ever seen people that are so busy that they don’t have time to enjoy life or their loved ones? Perhaps you’re guilty of doing this from time to time. You’ll create patterns that keep you busy at work, church, or at home. You may feel obligated to meet deadlines, go beyond the call of duty, or obsess to keep a spotless house. In a balanced environment, this would be commendable. However, when the focus is tipped towards one particular area, it becomes hurtful.

For example, routines that include 12-hour work days, 6 days a week, will hurt your family emotionally and spiritually. If you’re a woman there, you are considered, the heart of the home. It is hard to show affection when you’re exhausted. If you’re a man, you’re the spiritual leader of the home. It becomes quite difficult for you to maintain the sensitivity that you need to hear from God when you’re brain is fried.

To Live or To Exist
We are all born with a unique purpose and talents. What we choose to do with our purpose and talents are based on how we live. If you live at bare minimum, you will be unable to tap into your purpose and, you will not be able to unearth your talents. They will remain dormant inside of you, unless you provide the right conditions for growth.


God didn’t call us to exist or to live on the bare minimum. He does not want us to remain in a dormant state. He expects us to live and live life to the fullest. You cannot do this if you remain hidden behind routine. Growth, in any area of our lives, demands change. Change forces us to get out of our comfort zone, adjust the way we think, let go of the past, or perhaps even ask or offer forgiveness.

Why remain bare and lifeless, when your buds are waiting to bloom? Start to live and usher in the Spring of your season.

To live or to exist, that, my friend, should no longer be the question.