It's Free, Yes FREE!

Every time I walked down into the basement, I heard the theme song of Jaws. It had been weeks since I started sorting through the quagmire of stuff that we had collected over the years.

The Dilemma

Like others who were brave enough to tackle the storage place of the home, I was faced with the dilemma of what to do with all the extra stuff. Then one day I felt something strongly in my heart and I decided to follow through with the idea. Like a crazy, determined woman I pulled all my “good possessions” out of the leftovers and put it to the side.

Tag Giveaway 

One Saturday morning I put up some signs my older daughter made for me. She wondered why I hadn’t put them up the night before and didn’t understand how the word FREE on her signs would catch folks attention. When the first car rolled up an hour before the official start time, she understood that mama knew best and thus began the steady stream of shocked individuals that came to our driveway.

The first woman caught sight of the decorative fences on the lawn and stopped to explain that she had just returned from Home Depot, once she was notified that they had run out of the same fences. She asked how much, even though the signs all the way to the house and on the front lawn said FREE. With a smile I told her she could take them. Perplexed she asked if I was sure, and as soon as I nodded, she happily gathered up all the fences and mentioned she would be back with the kids.

The Steady Stream

As cars and vans rolled up, we noticed a pattern that made us chuckle at the end of the day. Money in hand, folks came over to the table eagerly wanting to part with the green bills for the commodity of their choice. Each asked without fail, how much?

For four hours, I engaged in conversation with many neighbors I had never met.On e woman called 4 friends and came over twice. The first time she insisted I take $5 and gave it to my youngest daughter. The second time, she noticed the Joyce Myer books I had on the table and debated on which copy she needed. (It was incredible how many women got excited when they saw her books.) She tried to give us some cash for the second time and even insisted that I give it towards charity if I didn’t want to keep it. I stopped her asked her to let me bless her. With a grateful heart and radiant smile, the woman threw her arms around me and then happily walked away with her gifts.The older folks didn’t have a problem loading up their vehicles once I confirmed it was free. The younger generations, around my age, were conscientious not to take too much.

A man stopped by on his bicycle and asked three times, “are you sure you want me to take these? The frames are beautiful”. After I assured him he gathered all he could and happily pedaled away with his new frames under one arm.

Many people touched my heart that day. There was a woman with an oxygen tank who came out with her grand daughter and explained why she couldn’t get out much. She could not be exposed to other’s germs as her immunity system was very low. Again a Joyce Meyer book made it off the table as her alternative to church are TV and books.

One particular neighbor did stay for a while and by the end of our conversation, we had exchanged numbers.

As promised, the Home Depot woman returned with her three children. We found out that four years earlier, our community and my mom’s (swat) team had prayed for her youngest daughter. She was born prematurely weighing in at 12 ounces. I had the privilege of meeting little Gracie that day.

About Joyce

You may be wondering why I mentioned Joyce Meyers’ books. Well that morning as I was putting out all of the stuff, I felt in my heart that I should put out her books on one of the tables. It wasn’t my plan to give my Joyce books away. All her books are used as resources when I help other women. I went back and forth with God on that but finally gave in. Words can’t describe the kick I got out of watching and hearing women gush with gratefulness each time they took one of her books with them.

It’s FREE, Yes FREE

After a couple of hours, I realized something that nearly knocked me off of my lawn chair. I had experienced a taste of God’s joy when He gives and when people are willing to receive.

Why do I say willing to receive? Each individual asked the price, most if not all couldn’t believe there was none and tried to pay me anyway. It’s a lot like salvation. Everyone feels that there should be a price to pay. Even after they receive God’s gift, they still feel they have to do something to earn it.

It is human inclination to be suspicious and feel like everything has a price. Truth is everything did have a price at one time. I paid for it and gave it away. Jesus also paid for the gift of salvation and gives it away each opportunity He gets. (All you have to say is Jesus I accept your gift of salvation. Yes it’s that simple.)

For four hours I had to confirm that the items were FREE, Yes FREE, and there was nothing I wanted in return. It says that it’s better to give then to receive. I definitely concur.

Slow Down

Every morning, Skye, my Yorkie and I take a short walk. It should only take about 10 to 15 minutes but somehow he figures out how to prolong it. As he walks along, he does of course his territorial business but without fail, he does things that make me stop and observe. He will smell the flowers; he will sit and admire the sky or he will pull back if I rush him. He's quite a character. (This is Skye at 2 months.)

It's vacation time for me and to be honest it was thrusted on me. I was going to wait until October or November but it was time and I knew it and my family could see it plainly. So I've been whisked away by daughter number 2 to the land where dreams come true and of course with the slow down comes the motivation to write. It's not surprising but it discourages me at times because I want to do more of that. I'm sure you can relate. Perhaps there is more of something you would like to do. Perhaps it's a dream/goal you want to make a reality but can't just yet because your life is going a little too fast.

This morning I woke up to the title slow down and of course I remembered Skye. My 2 year old pup who makes me stop before a busy day begins and helps me appreciate God's wonderful creation. I live in a beautiful valley in New York and wake up to mountains and green - lots of green - flowers during the spring and summer, magnificent foilage during the fall and a white carpet during winter months. Our nights display an array of stars that can often take your breath away and ''wow" often escapes your lips. I am grateful for the beautiful place I live at and try to remind myself to thank God more often.

As I slow down and rest, I become aware of what it brings to my life and I begin to cherish even more what I have, and desire more what I want to accomplish. The pressures of work fall off and away and I remember how pleasurable it is, how much fulfillment it gives me to do what I love most. Spend time with any member of my family, sleep in, eat (ha ha), read, write and best of all hear God. I talk to him a lot. I probably talk his ear off at times but forget to listen at times.

People often wonder why I smile all the time, even when life is chaotic. I often answer I can't help it, I'm so blessed. I've been through some real tough situations and the one constant has been my faithful companion, the Holy Spirit. When you have an experience or experiences where God has been real and faithful, there's no persuading that God isn't. And when there's no persuading that God isn't, it makes what the bible say real. So when the bible and it's promises become real, you can't help but smile and just be content in all circumstances because no matter what, it'll all work out. It always does and for the good.

Slow down is good. It gives you more appreciation for what you have verses what you don't have. It opens up your mind to possibilities. It gives you the energy to plan for new ventures. It refreshes your body, mind and soul. It gives your spirit gal or guy some time to really reconnect and reminds you, once again, that this earthly time is just a pause.

Slow down shouldn't only be during vacation times. I've learned, with some difficulty I might add, to slow down over the past two years. I say no often. Weigh my schedule heavily. Keep my family time as high priority and constantly ask the question, is this going to stress me. I am learning to be more organized and all of this was as a result of a major slow down. Even with all this, the grand slow down of vacation is much needed from time to time and I've learned that one or two day vacation days don't cut it.

I welcome my slow down. Rest was one of God's commands many of us ignore. I like rest. It puts me in a better mood (yes I have bad, funky days too) and aligns my perspective.

As I continue to slow down, I pray that you can too. It doesn't mean you have to go away from the place you live but it does mean you have to go away from the life you live at times. I do the latter often. When I shut down work, I shut it down and don't think about it especially during weekends. If I do think, I tend to talk and my hubs reminds me to shut it down. If there's a problem, I try to shut it down by giving it to God. If I think about it, I tend to talk about it and God reminds me that I gave it to him. The process of slow down goes hand-in-hand with shut down. The more you slow down your life, the more consistent the shut down becomes.

We live in a busy, non-stop, over-stimulated world, but we can choose which activity to participate in. Slow down sounds good, doesn't it? I can attest to that. I wish you all could meet me at the pool later today. Jealous? Good - it's an indicator that you need to slow down.

Give Me the Tissue and Wrapping Paper

The other day, we celebrated my God daughter’s second birthday. It is always a pleasure to watch toddler open gifts. We observe how their eyes light up and how a smile is plastered on their face. We anticipate the excitement that comes from ripping open the wrapping paper and the bliss and discovery of what’s inside. We become elated when the reaction to the gift is surprise, glee - pure enjoyment. Then something funny occurs. The child gets distracted by something much simpler like the tissue in the gift bag, the wrapping paper or the box the gift came in and as adults we shake our heads and wonder why.

Teresa Peruzzi Faubel Bouquet

Perhaps the toddlers are on to something that we tend to ignore. Think about it. Each day we have gifts that are given to us, but we walk around with ungrateful hearts and with attitudes that plainly suck. We feel that life owes us and we are never satisfied or happy with what we have. Maybe it’s time we look at the tissue or wrapping paper with a bit more curiosity.


Gift of Morning
Each day that you wake up is a gift. It doesn’t matter what your body, your mind or your emotional state is in. The gift of morning means you are given one more day to make a difference. You have the choice to dwell on you or dwell on doing what you were placed here for. The tissue and the wrapping are not about you. It’s about the attention you give to others and how you make a difference in their lives. It will help you appreciate that you’re alive, today…this moment.

Gift of Afternoon
Days roll by quick and often we’re so busy that we miss out on exhaling and just being. Afternoons are the time of day when absolutely anything can happen. We hunger for food, companionship and a well deserved break, but few take advantage of that gift. The gift of afternoon encourages the time for individual nourishment in all levels. The tissue and the wrapping is what are often ignored here because the pressure of work (home or job) has thrown them to the side. Balanced life means balanced nutrition of you; body, soul and mind and this includes relational too.

Gift of Evening
This is the time of day where all can be seen as a chore. Dinner must be made, kitchens need to be cleaned and children need to be bathed…yes the list goes on. We dread what is waiting. What if the tissue paper and wrapping is in the doing of all those things? The gift of evening is a reminder of all that we need to be grateful for. It’s not in the big things. It’s always has been about the small, everyday things that we often assume will always be there. Dinners are conversational and highlighted moments that will be cherished one day. Kids grow up fast. One day you’ll ache for those crazy evenings long gone. If you have to clean stuff, remember that there are others that don’t have. Count your blessings.

Gift of Night
As we wind down and are consumed with exhaustion, our minds tell us with resentment or resignation, ‘and we get to do this again tomorrow’? If only you were aware how many people wish they had a tomorrow? They live day to day wishing. The gift of night ushers in rest and gives us the opportunity to hope for a better and greater tomorrow. Our outlook determines our attitude. The tissue and the wrapper is the remembrance of the small stuff throughout the day that we should have paid attention to that whispers, speaks or screams loudly that we are loved. Wouldn’t that change our feelings at the end of the day to that of contentment?

Toddlers are amazing. You should observe them from time to time. They entertain themselves with the simplest of things. They love life. They’re feisty, first thing in the morning, revving to see what they can discover. Toddlers often let you know what their favorite foods are rather quickly and will eat it as often as they can get it. (My youngest was chicken nuggets and French fries!) Play time is their absolute favorite time, with friends – event better, and if it can be the entire day, why not? They love being talked to, hugged, kissed and cuddled with. Mushy time is okay and they do it with abandonment. They fight nap or sleep time because life is just too much fun but they eventually succumb and every once in a while, you’ll catch a glimpse of a smile that touches their lips as they dream. Then they get to do it all over again because they expect a great tomorrow.

Focus on the gift of tissue and wrapping paper and make it a point to give those gifts to yourself and others, each and every day.

The Negative Monkey

It was a hot summer day at Coney Island beach. My cousins and I had split up to look for William, known as the adventurous wanderer of our clan. The sand was hot under our feet and our throats were hoarse from yelling. We continued on our search, when all of the sudden, I felt a hand grab my leg. It wasn’t an ordinary hand; it felt rubbery. When I looked down, I began to scream and shake my leg to try to pry off the furry body that decided to wrap its arms around me. I had my first encounter with a monkey – up close!

Apparently someone decided to take their chimp to the beach that day. Needless to say, he became friendly with me and there was no convincing him to let go. Just like my cousin, the monkey decided to explore the beach on his own. My screams and I’m sure the hysterical show that both monkey and I must have given, attracted a lot of attention. The owner finally heard the story about the screaming girl (which traveled down the beach rather quickly) and came to my rescue. I can’t remember if my cousin William showed up at the same time the owner did, but I do recall being the brunt of my cousins’ jokes for weeks on end.

Isn’t it incredible how memories can be so vivid, and although forgotten for a while, can become so relevant in our lives when we do remember them? What an awful feeling it was when that monkey hung on to my leg…and what a relief it was when the owner finally pried him off.

Often times we feel the same way when we let go of people that hinder us. But what happens when that person is you? Obviously, we can’t dismiss ourselves and so the challenge becomes how to modify our behavior, especially our thoughts.

Our thoughts define who we are and what we become.

We talk to ourselves more than anyone else in our lifetime. From the moment we open our eyes, till the moment we place our head on a pillow, our self talk is non-stop. We have the power to create a wonderful day or ruin it, via our thoughts. It’s no secret that good thoughts just like bad ones become habits. If you don’t believe it, take a look around you and listen to how people speak for a few days. A happy and successful person focuses on the good in all situations and speaks positively. A cranky, defeated and unfulfilled person focuses on the bad and speaks negatively. If we were to compare the positive and negative person, which of the two would you say had a visit with the negative monkey? I bet you’d be inclined to say the negative person but in reality both were visited. The difference is that one decided not to listen and the other took the monkey to heart.

What is the negative monkey?

It’s the pessimistic voice that pops up inside of your head. It’s the voice that whispers in your ear that you are worthless, you’ll never amount to anything and let’s face it – you’re just a woman. It reminds, in a cynical way, that you are the fragile one, too emotional to be consistent - rejected as the weaker sex. Yes, we’ve been told, we’ve listened and we’ve believe. We even speak the same negative nonsense into our own lives.

The negative monkey is a universal demon that tries to invade our space, and his goal is to steal away our inner joy and appreciation of self. It causes us to focus on what we lack and encourages us to do nothing about it. It gladly pulls in the past and plays it before us like a sitcom rerun. Over time, it can take hold of our minds, if we let it.

So how do we rid ourselves of this destructive chimp?
We scream, jump up and down and wait for the owner to come and pry it off! Actually that is not far from the truth. Let me explain with the following steps.

Scream. It will get your attention. It will push you to be stern within yourself, especially when it’s time to stop anything destructive in your life.

Jump up and down. Sometimes we need to take drastic measures to shake up our lives with radical changes.

Pry it off. When we take responsibility for what we’ve allowed into our lives, we become the owner. Ownership gives us the power to pry free from anything.

We all have the ability to change. We just need the courage to acknowledge we can change and follow through.

Stop listening to the negative monkey and be kind to yourself. Focus on the good and take the time to discover or unearth the positive inside of you. Start to believe in yourself.

Don’t stop there. Pay attention to what God says about you. If you’re unsure, go take a look in the Bible. You’ll discover throughout that God constantly validates you, believes in you and expects the best for you and from you.

Finally, make it a point to counteract the negative with a positive each and every time. Rid yourself of the outside and inside negative influences and become the woman you are destined to be.

Shut It

We often hear, we are our own worst enemies. Do you think that it is true?

One of the things that my husband has been telling me lately is "don't talk about it - jut do it." He explained that there are times that we want to do things that we're passionate about but we talk ourselves out of it before we even start. That is how many dreams never become reality and how talents are wasted. We live through life frustrated because we never end up doing what we love. We often think we're not good enough; wonder who would listen; wonder who would read it if we wrote it. The list goes on and on.

It's that internal dialogue that gets us into a pickle, gets us discouraged and stops us from doing what we love best.

In the Midwest people are known for saying 'shut it' instead of our Northeast 'shut up'. As rude as both those terms may sound to some, perhaps it is time we apply it whenever our internal dialogue want to discourage us from pursuing our dreams.

What is it that you keep putting off because you think you can't? Shut it - and just do it.  

Nurture the Girl

Whenever we read anything that begins with the word nurture, we often think of health. If you’re a woman, you tend to think of your loved ones’ health and nutrition. Let’s face it, if you’re a woman responsible for a family, you refer to your never-ending checklist… physicals, dentist, vitamins, sports, etc. The list goes on and on. However, when it comes to yourself, your list is short in comparison, and I’ll even bet you’re on the bottom of the list.

Women are nurturers by design and we do it well – with everyone else!

Why is that? The simple answer is that we are busy. Most of us work and/or are also involved with our children’s school, the community or our church. 

We proudly wear the big S underneath our blouses and we hum to the song “I am strong, I am invincible…I am woman”. Unfortunately, being multi-task queens eventually wear us out and causes a lot of damage inside with evidence outside.

Have you ever wondered why you’ve gained or lost a lot of weight, have zits, can’t sleep, are always tired, are depressed, have anxiety attacks and always feel rushed? Do you wonder why weekends are no longer a time of rest? Sounds like you? Don’t feel bad. Sounds like me too but I am learning to live more and exist less. You see, when you’re life is a whirlwind of activities; it sucks out the fun and appreciation of moments. You begin to exist from one rushed moment to the next; one rushed activity to the next; one rushed day to the next.

How do we stop the madness and begin to nurture ourselves? Perhaps you feel that to be last on the list is the wrong thing. That is a misconception and erroneous thinking. How can you nurture well, if you are unhealthy in every area of your life? You are the prime example to all in your care. Your daughters, sons, nieces, nephews, grandchildren, etc. will do the same exact thing when they grow up.

So how do we begin to change and learn to pace ourselves correctly? Begin with this: Remember that you are the temple of the Holy Spirit. That means you have the responsibility to take care of you in every area of your life.

We often think that God is pleased with our do especially when our do includes a list that is a mile long that we have imposed on ourselves. We volunteer for everything and anything and NO is not part of our vocabulary. Perhaps it is time for a change. Maybe it’s time for us to Nurture the Girl. She’s the one that lives inside of you, that voice you constantly hear. She tells you often that she just can’t. She is overwhelmed. She needs help. She needs some nurture time.

Here are some quick steps I’ve incorporated and continue to. It’s a journey and not an over night fix but it is a step in the right direction. How do I know? My teenage daughters have noticed the change about and around me.

1. Give yourself a break. It’s okay if everything cannot get done. Tomorrow is another day.
2. Give yourself some time. Even if it is a couple of hours, alone in the tub, out with a girlfriend or your honey, or alone doing a pedicure or reading a good book.
3. Give yourself some money. Dollars add up. Set aside a few bucks every pay period for yourself. Buy a new dress, shoes, real or costume jewelry. Remember when we used to play princess when we were kids?
4. Give yourself some rest. If you’re truly worn out, send the kid(s) to grandma or whomever you trust and sleep in on a Saturday and don’t feel guilty about it.
5. Give yourself some attention. Make your doctor, dentist and GYN appointments a priority. You’ll live long and get to see your grand babies.
6. Give yourself healthy habits. I remember when I could lose 5 lb in a week. Gosh I’m lucky if I can lose that in a month. Get my drift? Eat right and move.
7. Give yourself permission to say NO. Admit you can’t do it all. It’s liberating.
8. Give yourself the power to delegate. It’s incredible how many people are around you who are just waiting for you to ask.
9. Give yourself the chance to dream. We get frustrated because we don’t have time to work on our dreams. Planning is doing. Perhaps you can’t do it right now but you can plan for when you can.
10. Give of yourself to you. You give to others constantly. Learn to listen to you when she needs you. She is pretty good with warning you when you’re doing too much, need medical attention, basically need nourishment physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

We can be our worst enemies or our best caregivers. It has nothing to do with being selfish and everything to do with being a great nurturer.

Nurturer…nurture thy self…nurture the girl.

Sometimes We Need Inspiration

In my search for movies, I usually look for something that will inspire me. The other day, I had the pleasure of watching the story of Mother Teresa. This sweet, little woman was a giant among giants in her time hands down. I had a lot of takeaways but wanted to share a few.

There’s Knowing and ‘KNOWING’

There is a difference between knowing God and ‘knowing’ God. We all know who the President of the United States is but we don’t ‘know’ him. Most of us can’t walk into the White House, kick off our shoes and have dinner with him. People know of God because they’ve heard many stories of him, but they don’t ‘know’ God intimately because they’ve never formed relationship. It’s easy to dismiss God when you haven’t made an effort to prove or disprove.

Mother Teresa KNEW God. Although it’s a known fact that nuns take vows and are considered married to Jesus, we miss the point of such dedication. We think that it’s solely for nuns and get hung up with looking at the religion and forget it’s all about relationship.

The Constant Talk

Throughout the movie, the girl would drop to her knees at a drop of a hat to pray. She must have prayed at least 50 times within the 2+ hours! Most could accept that because she’s a NUN. If a regular Christian would do that, they would be considered a loon fanatic. But here is what she discovered, that most never do. The constant talk towards heaven opened up a world for her that is available to everyone but only revealed to few.

We often think of prayer as a one way conversation when it is not. God is real and constantly speaks back. Why in the world would you pray to a God who wouldn't answer back? Unfortunately many people have the wrong story about God and don’t make the effort to find out the truth.

(By the way, God is not interested in the posture of your body when you talk to him. He’s more interested in the posture of your heart. You see relationship, whenever you desire one that’s intimate, comes from the heart. What this means is that you can talk to him anytime throughout the day without any kneeling and any scripting because he wants and craves your conversation.)

It’s All About Love

Naturally when you talk to someone constantly that you want relationship with, you just eventually love them. It’s part of the intimate relationship dynamics. The beauty of discovering God’s love is that it spills over to others.

Mother Teresa loved God and loved people but a lot of us fail miserably with the second one. Too many Christians are all about talk. She showed God’s love by her actions. Even when she was hurting, she understood her hurt would work itself out when she helped others through their pain.

Our playing field may not be India or the world, but we all know of people who are in need. We should be looking for opportunities to step in and love on them.

The Power of One

Many would say Mother Teresa’s calling is not mine. I do not have her destiny…but you do. We all have something we should be accomplishing in our lifetime. We were not put here to take up space and God makes no exception. We are all called to greatness and excellence. Our sphere of influence may not be as large as Mother Teresa’s at the moment, but it doesn’t mean we don’t have that potential.

What amazed me was how she started out as one person with one vision and how over the years it became contagious throughout the world. Her calling was simple - to help people in need…that was it.

Keeping it Simple

We often think that to accomplish something memorable, it has to be big and elaborate. Mother Teresa loved simplicity and she achieved all of her objectives because of it.

She started her dream with absolutely nothing tangible…NOTHING. She had no money, no location…not even a team to help her but that didn’t deter her. She began laying groundwork with what she did possess; her love for people and her talent for persistence and stubbornness. She wouldn’t quit and was relentless and made sure that all of the dreams that God had deposited into her heart came to pass.

The Faith Factor

When we board a plane, our expectation is that that we will reach our destination even though we don’t know the pilot personally. We don’t know if he has the right credentials. We don’t know if he’s in training (perhaps his first flight). We don’t know whether he’s sober or getting over the effects of sleeping meds from the night before, etc, BUT we have faith this man we DON’T KNOW will get us there.

You exercise faith every day for many things, but when it comes to God it eludes you. Ever wonder why you waiver with your faith in God or your faith for what God can do? Sometimes I think it’s because we’re scared of what he’ll do. It freaks us out to know he may just answer a little too greatly, beyond a shadow of a doubt, supernaturally and unexplainably. It’s easier to expect he won’t answer.

Over and over again, I witnessed throughout the movie answered prayers. I was amazed and Mother Teresa was not because it was her expectations. God would give her a MASSIVE dream and she would move forward, fully confident that if he wanted it done, he would provide…period, end of story.

It looks like an easy concept but it isn’t. There are those of us who know the turmoil that one goes through when you’re going from point A to point Z before that HUGE dream comes to pass. I think that she minimized the turmoil because she often reminded others and herself that the timing factor was not hers to dictate and she learned the art of patience and waiting.

Sometimes we all need a moment of inspiration.

There’s so much more that can be said about this incredible woman, but the fact is, she was incredible because she lived what she believed. She believed she was a representative of a God who loves and lived it out loud, unashamed and unapologetically. Her inspiration was the people around her in need. It kept her going.

Where is your inspiration? I believe inspiration is always around us but I think it serves a greater purpose when we live to inspire others.

Romans 11:29 For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.