Voice Your Gift

Today I watched the Disney film “The Greatest Game Ever Played”. Of course, like most movies like this, the little man ended up being the hero or shall I say the winner in this case. Although everyone in the audience knew that, wanted that, heck expected it to happen, the getting there had a powerful message.

Sometimes in life we let others kill our dreams be it those who we may feel inferior to, or even those we love. When our gifts or are dreams manifest, there are times when we must make the lonely stance of following a path that others may not understand or accept. Some times those dreams can be hindered by past voices that we have not learned to silence. Other times they can come from present influences. Both past and present can hold you back if you choose to believe the lie of you cannot.

Just like the characters in the movie, there are instances where perception can push us to strive to be better. Challenged by that better we can develop the vision to be just as good or surpass it by focusing and doing our best. Too many times we get hung up on comparison and that limits us to others altitude and not our potential.

We all want and need to give voice to our gifts, but it’s up to us whether we will embrace the makings of our future or chose to plainly disbelieve in ourselves.

The Do Over

Kids learn pretty quickly, the significance of the do over, when they start to approach the school age. This usually happens when a parent or an adult figure points out that something was done incorrectly. Sometimes a child triumphs during the do over and sometimes they experience disappointments. What was brought into adulthood by that child was dependent on the harshness of those figures in their younger years, especially during the disappointments.

Those past adult voices are the ones that either encourage us or haunt us. You and I know them well because they creep up from time to time without much effort. They either cheer you on or relentlessly knock you down. Often they’re thought of as our inner dialogue but in reality they’re the byproduct of the voices of the past that infiltrated and adapted to sound like your own. As individuals, we’re supposed to constantly renew the mind…our thoughts and inner dialogue. Some learn to master that in a positive manner, while others have accepted and believed that a do over is not in scope for their lives. They’re just beaten.

I believe that the do over is available to anybody. Some of you may be shaking your head in a very negative manner and perhaps saying not for me. You have probably failed time and again to get out of situations and circumstances that seem beyond your control. You feel stuck, trapped and hopeless. Some of you may even feel like you deserve to be where you’re at because you’re guilt ridden and imprisoned by your past choices. The do over is not an option. You must live your punishment for the rest of your days…or so you think.

A lot of the sadness in this world can be contributed to the lost of hope for a do over. It’s something that is felt as undeserved although it’s an equal opportunity offer to all. The possibility of the do over entices many but few run into the cradle of its arms. Are you wondering why?

The do over is avoided by many because it always beckons one to action – the action of change. It doesn’t encourage doing the same thing the same way to produce the same results. It propels you to do something different to achieve positive results. It pushes you to think outside of the box, cheers you on into the unknown and gives you the courage to shut out the familiar voices. Once there’s momentum, deep down inside you know that you’re headed in the right direction. You accept that you can’t undo the past but you also know that you can create a better future.

It will challenge you to make the tough choice to let go of people who hinder you and will introduce you to others who have discovered the secret of the do over. The do over will put you in a place where you get tired of listening to the voices that tell you that you can’t. In its place you will crave for the voices that will root for you even when the mistake was of your own making.

The do over will always cost you. It will take you out of your comfort zone. It will turn your life upside down. It will make you cry, feel unsure during the journey and will probably stress you out until you have a sure footing again. However, even in the midst of all of that, it will remind you that it’s not the bravest that wins, but the persistent one that gets the prize because the focus is on the desired outcome, not the going through.

So today if you’re faced with the challenge of the do over, don’t get discouraged. It’s a great thing when we’re presented the chance to do it again, a new way.

I confess I don’t like the do over at times, okay a lot of the times…but the experience of past do over wins hands down and I know that in the end it’s all worth it.

I dedicate this to all of you who are in the do over stage. Don’t lose hope. You will not fail! Failure is defined by those who do not try.

For the rest of you, stop living a substandard life, stop blaming yourself, others, the past and God. Take responsibility, buck up and move forward. It’s time.

The opportunity for a do over is here and now. Go for it!

(I love you J – this one is for you.)

Speaking in Authority

We got a text message from a family member from another state ask that we pray for one of kids in the military. My husband immediately asked that we pray and it went something like this.

"Angels I command you to form a hedge of protection around him. You are accountable to Almighty God if any harm comes to him. Lord I ask your mighty hand be upon him … in the name of Jesus."

Needless to say, my eyes flew open and jaw kind of dropped some as my husband said these words with authority.

Religious folks would get their feathers ruffled with these types of prayers…but what I am learning is the example he shows me time after time of understanding our authority in Christ.

There are too many wimpy Christians and that makes our faith look wimpy. If we read the gospels, we see that Christ spoke with authority because he knew who he was. We are supposed to be Christ followers yet we do not know the power that’s within us or the authority that we possess.

Aren’t we supposedly to go boldly before the throne of God? Don’t we have the spirit of God dwelling in us that raised Jesus from the dead? Then why do we pray the wimpy – if it’s your will prayers when we know it is his will already in his word?

Perhaps it’s time we do the word instead of wondering if it will do for us.

Phases

The other day my parents spent the weekend with me and I couldn’t help but notice how much they aged. It wasn’t that it wasn’t apparent, it’s just that I don’t get to see them as often and this was the first time we spent a weekend together in a couple of years. My mom and dad move slower and have a routine that took me by surprise.

I wanted to scream at both of them – YOU CAN’T GET OLD… but I know that this is the cycle that life makes us all go through. Even writing this makes me a little sad. Where is the young and vibrant couple that poured so much into me? I know they are in there somewhere because they continue to work diligently within the community just at a slower pace.

As we get older, we go through different phases in our lives. We are excited when we are about to go into college. When we graduate we’re excited about our new job. As life progresses we meet our partner. We become excited about the wedding and then there are babies. The one phase we try to shut out or keep tucked away is that of our parents aging. Somehow it sneaks up on us.

In this phase I’ve learned to appreciate my parents more than ever. I am blessed with a father that signifies wisdom. His picture should go next to the word wisdom in the dictionary. Okay he’s my dad I can say that. What a wonderful influence he has been over the years to all of us. My mother doesn’t trail behind. I often feel like I will never fill her shoes. Her dedication and love for others is like nothing I have ever seen. I have my own mother Theresa. I’m not kidding. Ask anyone who knows her.

Although this phase will probably usher into a phase I don’t want to dwell on, it is this one that I relish probably the most. We hear many more stories that they probably thought were inappropriate before. A lot of past hurts or misunderstandings were talked through. We laugh hysterically about the funny moments. We have lots of those! There is never a dull moment when the Humphreys clan gets together and my parents have the pleasure of seeing the results of their arduous labor both in and outside our home.

In this phase we kids get the pleasure to care and watch out for them. To thank them for all the great things they’ve done for us. We get to confide in them when no one but a parent understands and to listen even when we hate to. We know most of the time they’re right. They lived our lives almost three times over.

My siblings and our families have learned to embrace this phase and cherish it. Each of us shares with the other those special moments. Those memories are ingrained in our hearts forever. From my sentimental heart, I know that time will slip by and phases will continue. But until then, we’ll continue to make every moment a memory.

Tweaking the Tude

It’s funny how sometimes you hear something and it doesn’t apply to you at the moment because all is well with the world. Two weeks ago my pastor finished a series called “Thanks for What?” and, at the time I was feeling pretty good and grateful. However that changed this past Wednesday when my world was turned a bit upside down.

I was advised that I had a possible assignment starting this Sunday that would require me to fly to Dallas for the next two weeks. My heart sank. Didn’t they know it was the Christmas season and I have two ladies (my pet name for my girls 12 and 16) at home? The assignment would require long hours and only one day off with lots of required learning beforehand. I have to admit that my grateful heart went right out the window and I felt anger and resentment because I was picked. It would interfere with my time with my family, which is what is most important to me, and would throw a major monkey wrench into my decorating and entertainment schedule.

Needless to say, there were two things that began to plague me; worry and an ungrateful attitude. These two things came on even after my husband and I prayed about it. For some reason my anger got the best of me as I felt quite slighted. You see I was the princess. She was always taken care of and even got promoted recently and so I guess she felt a bit untouchable; until now.

This morning when I woke up, I felt the grumbling start and I stopped it, and bless Pastor Frank, I remember the message he had covered. I began this morning’s prayer with, I really don’t like what is being done to me but I thank you that I am blessed and make good money, and have been treated very well. I went down the list and I did begin by mentioning what bothered me and counteracted each and every single one with the good. My prayer ended with thanksgiving for all the good things and people in my life.

Friday is praise day for my writer’s group and one of the gals mentioned that she updated her blog with the direction that God was leading her. While I was reading her thoughts I remembered my husband’s prayer Wednesday morning. I kind of dismissed it because of my poor attitude, but heard it pretty clearly again this morning. “If Roz is supposed to be a blessing at this place, let it be as you want.” The light bulb went on and it was another AHA moment for me. I was so hung up on what I wanted to do, and how I was being affected, that I forgot to even ask “What do you want, Lord?”.

I went through a series of attitude adjustments -- tweaking the tude. First I had to stop grumbling and ask for forgiveness. I still had some grumble left so then I had to start thanking to counteract each ungrateful thought. Next, I had to put the trust factor back into motion and acknowledge once again that God is in control. Once I did all those things, I was finally at a place to ask God, “What do you want, Lord?”. It was only when I went through all these motions that I felt peace.

So what did I learn? I’ve learned that some times the princess needs to be dethroned because she needs to go through the exercise of tweaking the tude. It’s not a bad thing. It’s just part of life’s never-ending lessons. These types of lessons remind me how blessed I am, and how powerful attitude can be during any circumstance.

Tweaking of the tude...anyone?

Relationships: The Trust Factor

Amazing Trust

It amazes me when I think of how much Jesus trusted his disciples…yes all 12 of them. Think about it, he even depended on Judas to take care of the money bag. However, there were specific disciples that he expected more from than the others. It was Peter, James and John who were asked to go up to the mount during the transfiguration, and the same three who were asked to go pray with him during his time in Gethsemane.

However, we see even greater reliance when John is asked to care for the master’s mother. He was even entrusted with a vision that became the last book in the bible (the Revelation). Jesus understood that trust had different levels, and he made sure that he cultivated that confident dependency in each relationship.

The Investment
How did Jesus know which friendships would give him the best return? He took the time to invest a little bit of himself into each and every one of them. In doing so, he was able to feel and read the heart of his companions. The closer they were, the more he trusted. The more he trusted, the more he invested or poured himself into these individuals.

Risk & and Missed Opportunities

Jesus knew the risks of trusting and experienced deep hurt by the betrayal of Judas, the denial of Peter, and the abandonment of all of his most trusted friends. Yet because he loved them so much, he forgave them, and extended his trust once again after his resurrection.

Sometimes we miss the opportunity of building deep bonds because of past hurts. Some of us don’t believe that anyone can be trusted. Reality is that there are a lot of folks out there with good and Godly hearts with the potential of becoming cherished friends, if given the chance.

Level Determination

It took Jesus 3 ½ years of “constant” companionship to determine the level of trust that should be imparted to each of them. Although we don’t have the luxury of living with any of our friends (unless of course we marry one of them or become roomies), we do have the opportunity of forging new friendships and fostering existing ones.

Let’s face it…relationship without the trust factor doesn’t work. It only creates a false sense of security that ensures isolation. The importance of friendship is seen throughout the word. We need one another. We were created with the inclination to love.

What a wonderful thing relationship is and can be. Let’s set our hearts on building trust, the factor for growing great friendships.

To Live in Expectation

When we were younger, we looked forward to being with friends, play dates, winning games and family vacations. As we moved into the teen and young adult years, we looked forward to homecoming, prom, graduation, college and getting married. As the married years progressed, we got excited with the thought of starting a new family.

It is so easy to live in expectation when there’s a baby on the way. My family has been blessed with one new niece and nephew, but what has raised the level of excitement is that there’s one more baby due this year. During the pregnancies, it was easy to maintain the level of excitement because there was outward evidence of what was going on inwardly. It was easy to imagine or try to predict what side of the family the baby would look like. Although, of course, none of us truly knew, it was fun to think and talk about.

God expects us to live with that type of high expectation as a life style. He desires for us to welcome each day in expectancy. Often times, when we are in the middle of a tough situation, we focus on the problem. If we choose to, it can asphyxiate us. Our anxiety levels can control us and cause us to live in misery. When our source and our trust is not in God, it removes the chance for Him to work on our behalf and keeps us a prisoner of our circumstances.

Past failures also cause us to wade in unhappiness. For some reason, failures seem to loom over our heads and remind us how much we lack. It stops us from moving forward and keeps us trapped in the illusion of contentment. We go as far as to compare ourselves with others (grandpa was a small-time this…) and we identify and resign our fate to be within the same plight. We do not stretch ourselves although God expects us to live life to the fullest and at our best.

Unmet goals are also a source of discontentment. When we first start out towards a goal, we go after it with all that we’ve got. After a few days, weeks or months, we fizzle out if we do not see fast results or if things don’t turn out the way we want them to. We become complacent and find no need to try harder. If disappointment happens often enough, it can shift a person into existence. They no longer live. The events that excited them and the goals that stimulated them, become dreams of the past. They settle for the doldrums of routine and life becomes a clutter of things that have to get done without much thought.

Sounds depressing…who wants to live like that? None of us do, but a lot of us fall into some type of rut once in a while.

Why is it that we lose sight of what can be? Perhaps because it’s easier to live in lack and depressed. This may sound harsh, but change requires work and most of us don’t want to because everything around us has made life effortless. Can’t cook, don’t worry…you can go to a drive-thru and pick up dinner. Forget about snail mail…we’ve got email. Have to pay bills…online banking makes it a cinch. What’s sad is that all these progressive-technological changes has adjusted our attitude, and we have settled for less or nothing. We lose out on the most important part of our being, that of living out our purpose.

To live in expectation requires us to recognize who we are and why we are here. If you can’t answer those two questions with sincerity, you will live a frustrated life. It’s not enough to seek out after spirituality. There are many mediums today that encourage us to discover our spiritual side. All of them try to provide a path that will lead you to answer those two pressing questions, but most fall short because God has been taken out of the equation.

Why is it important to keep God in the equation?

When you have relationship with God, you reach the understanding that He is the one that deposits dreams into your heart. Not only does He deposit dreams, but He also provides the validation needed to move forward in fulfilling those dreams. When you understand that you have been validated before you were born; when you understand that you were purposely created; when you understand that your unique gift was designed specifically for you alone, it propels you to live in expectation. You can’t help it.

It’s not enough to know it. You have to take it to the next level and understand it. You may know that a car works because it takes you from one place to another, but you may not understand what’s inside the car that makes it work. The outward evidence of your lifestyle is based on your understanding of God’s word and promises inwardly.

Take a serious look at your life. Do you love waking up in the morning or do you dread it? You have a choice. You can continue to believe that life will not get better, or you can know that life gets better and better everyday. You can look forward to nothing or you can know that there’s a rainbow over each horizon. Proverbs says hope deferred makes the heart sick. Don’t waste another moment. Hope and Live.