A woman can experience emotional wholeness. She just needs to learn more about herself...more about who she really is.

Sunday, September 20, 2015

Emotional Me...Emotional You

In the quagmire of emotions, I often found myself trying to find the balance that is considered right and acceptable. The dos and don’ts always floated in my head.

• Don’t cry too much. You’ll come across as unstable and weak.
• Woman, you never cry. You come across so cold.
• Woman, you feel too much. You have to stop wearing your heart on your sleeve.
• Let him do all of the work. Don’t show so much love.
• You’re too sensitive. You need to become (fill in the blank).


All those outside voices required an apology and acknowledgement of what I needed to be or become.

But eventually I had to step back and look at me, emotional me, and I had to quiet out all the other voices. When I did, I began to realize that there was a season for all sorts of emotions. It came with the life happens that occur from time to time, like the stress of being a mom with young children; the pain of losing someone dear; the regret of wrong choices; the anxiety of too many changes occurring simultaneously; the risk of diving into the unknown; the betrayal of a friend; the burden of holding on or letting go; or the challenge of starting over (to name a few).

Emotional me discovered that tears were not necessarily a sign of weakness but often a display of love, happiness and yes hurt and pain. But to feel meant I was alive and not dead to my senses. It meant I was living and not existing. It meant that I recognized there were areas to heal and that acknowledgement is the first step towards it.

Emotional me recognizes that at times the feelings of the blues is my body telling me to slow down or stop so that I can nurture the inner girl. It forced me to seek and uncover where I lack. Perhaps I’m working too many hours, facing a hurtful situation, not treating the body right or having a hormone shift and in dire need of chocolate.

Emotional me assures me that whatever pain that afflicts me is temporary. She reminds of times past and urges me to find a friend when the cloud of blues lingers on a bit too long.

Emotional me coax me to apologize after an irritable moment and encourages me to choose future dialog that will build instead of tear down (internally and externally).

Emotional me is the chick that tricks me many times into believing I should dress beautifully and escorts me happily into the shoe store to buy pair number 75. Ah yes she reminds me to buy or give hubs a little something so that he doesn’t freak out on the latest purchase.

Emotional me, emotional you… Too often we chuck valid emotions as being too emotional. We beat ourselves up, drive ourselves crazy and sometimes become more emotional because of it. We feel we’re not allowed, so we become more depressed and become more emotional and it becomes a vicious cycle.

To acknowledge emotional you is to embrace the essence of who you are as a woman. It doesn’t provide an excuse to reign as a woman gone wild but offers the acceptance that you love deeper; you’re wired to nurture, are built with a 6th sense intuition and have tear ducts that activate at a drop of a hat.

When you understand that about yourself, you begin to learn, as with everything else in life, that there’s a need for balance. Don’t ignore, belittle, or get exasperated with emotional you. Find out what she’s trying to tell you…LISTEN.

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Get Dressed...Feel Pretty!

Some friends and I talked about how important it is for a woman to dress up. It makes her feel pretty. It's not about vanity.
It is easy to become careless with self as a person gets older. One of the things my mother drilled into us is that you need to dress appropriately and for the occasion. Although we don't follow it to the T, my siblings and I still take great care how we represent our family and that includes how we dress.
We know that our mom would be embarrassed if we looked constantly sloppy or walked into church or dinner disheveled. A lot of our friends look at us and say, you haven't aged. We actually have, of course, but we take good care of how we look. Again, it has nothing to do with vanity. It is loving oneself enough to invest the time.
We not only represent our family but we also understand that we are the reflection of God and represent His family. We understood that when we dressed up for a Sunday service, we honored God. I guess that impression stayed with all of us and we took it beyond church.
Do we wear jeans, sweats and forgo makeup. Heck yea! However dress up is not limited to clothes. It is smelling nice or pretty, making sure your hair is cared for, not being afraid to try new colors, throwing on some polish, shaving! You know the basic care to remain attractive for your significant other. That stuff is important but you see people let themselves go, and they don't realize that the lack of care impacts their self-esteem because eventually they don't feel good about themselves. It tells their partner, I don't think you're important enough to keep the attraction, and it tells God, I don't care to be a reflection of your family or a reflection of you for that matter.
Get Dressed today. Have fun and feel pretty or handsome. Each Sunday we take a selfie in church during service with the person we sit with. So if you dress up today after reading this, go ahead and take a selfie and represent proudly.

(Inspired by my book - Get Dressed! Life has stripped you...NOW WHAT?)



Monday, September 7, 2015

No Eres Victima. You are Not a Victim.

No eres victima. You are not a victim.
What is past tense, does not define what you are today. The reason you don't move forward is because you hang on to the past or to the labels that have been placed on you.
Others do not determine who you are. You do. There is a choice you are given every moment, of every day to believe. What you believe defines you.
There are many things, positive affirmations tied with identity that God says about you. None include being a victim. If anything, you are called an overcomer. What that means is that if it's in the past, you have overcome that situation. If it is in the present, even if you don't currently see a positive outcome just yet, you have overcome that situation. If it's coming in your future, and you can't avoid it, you will overcome that too because God said so.
If you're smarter than God than you will doubt the words you've just read. It takes crazy abandonment to do certain things in life. Why not use the same energy to believe the positive labels God has placed on you instead of remaining stagnant.
I dare you...

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

You are Courageous!

Often the focus is on the times we were cowardly or scared. Yet each day, we live courageously.
You have the courage to do your job and do it well. You have the courage to drive a car amongst maniacs. You have the courage to step into the unknown time and time again.
What is the unknown? It's finishing college and stepping into the work world. It's buying a new house. It's having a baby. It's starting a new business. It's facing a disease that can potentially kill you. It's the choice to deal with whatever comes your way in any of these choices...or more.
You may see courage as a valiant act but what it really looks like is the ability and choice is to live for more. You look forward and grow continually. You grow and you evolve constantly. That my friend, takes, and is courage.