Right or Left - Race You to the End!

One day, after I pulled my heart back up from my feet, I asked my hubs how he learned to swerve the car so gracefully in and out of lanes like he does. He explained that when police officers learn defensive driving, they actually have an instructor who stands at a certain point of the course who lifts up their arm at the very last minute towards the left or the right. Now mind you, the driver in training is going 60 mph. Of course you know what my next question was – did any of those instructors ever get hit or killed? His answer was they better not!

Of course I began to wonder how many times (and couldn’t shake it off) does God tells us to swerve into the right or left to avoid a collision and we miss it because we were going too fast, didn’t know how to maneuver defensively against the enemy AND were just so distracted that we didn’t look for his direction.

Life was never meant to be lived in a continual fast pace. We miss out the joy of family and friends, the intensity of relationships and the warmth of love that goes with it. Fast-paced lives become numb to their surrounding. They are deaf to the needs of others, especially to those who need them most.

Those who continue to lie to themselves and convince themselves that they can do it all, lose out on the most precious part of themselves – the reason why they are here.

I crave for a successful life. Many define that as what you live in, what car you drive, where you vacation, etc. Success, some say, is based on the person...but...what is success to you? How do you define success? Who maneuvers your left and right in life so that you continue to gauge your success via accomplishments, triumphs, achievements or whatever it may be to you?

Success to me is when my husband says he can’t wait until we cruise in May; when my daughter said she is happy to be home; when my mom and dad say they miss me; when my sister says I’m her best friend; when my brother shares his heart; when one of my closest friends says thank you after a wicked year; when a parishioner asks can you pray with me; when a stranger thanks me for an article that touched their lives.

All those things are considered a success to me because it reminds me of how blessed I am, but it goes further than that.

Successes are the times that I know I did what is right. It’s when I did something that was thankless. It often means that I’m invisible and no one knows. It’s when I do those things that are only known to Father God, and I don’t mind that because my goal is to hear him say you did good! (I always remember the movie Bruce Almighty and makes me chuckle.)

I believe success is measured the wrong way often times because we’re so hung up on the here and now and constantly forget the eternal. It doesn’t mean you become overly spiritual. It means you depend on the eternal so that you can make it in the here and now. That left and right sign is always in front of us. We just have to hone in, become sensitive to the guidance of the spirit of God.

Right or Left – race you to the end!

Do You Love You?

I am a Queen. I do not say this with conceit. However, I do say it with certainty. I am a Queen in God’s kingdom, a Queen in my home…yes Queen with a capital Q. I am not the only Queen. I am surrounded by them and they come from all walks of life.

Some know it, however many do not. Sadly, there are still a few that have yet to discover this reality.

In order to recognize, acknowledge and accept that you are a Queen, you’ll have to answer some tough questions. Firstly....

Roz

Do You Love You?
The minute we’re asked that question, our inclination is to take inventory of our physical appearance. We look at beauty first. We think that being attractive is what defines whether we’re likable to others or not. We then take inventory of the number of friends we have. If we’re liked, we gauge against that to determine if we like ourselves. It goes a step further. We’re also swayed by what others think or say about us. This is human nature. Unfortunately, it is also human nature not to be kind, tolerant or forgiving. When that happens, the view of others can be detrimental to our psyche. We focus on what the one person said, although there can be tons of positive that we demonstrate as a lifestyle.

Do You Love You?

Look deep inside. Do you like what you see? Look in the mirror. Can you stand the reflection in it? Do you cringe and groan at what’s before you? Don’t focus on the few added pounds or bony frame looking back at you. Look at the entire woman that you live with day in and day out.

Again, Do You Love You?
Does the answer to that question bring shame or the feeling of being selfish? Perhaps the reason you feel uncomfortable with this question is because you’ve never taken the time to really uncover the truth behind your answer. You’re afraid to admit that you hate you. You’re afraid to say I don’t like who I am. You may also be afraid to admit you don’t know who you are. What’s sad is that you have accepted what you are now based on past labels or failures.

You owe it to yourself to answer that tough question…even if it hurts. Why is this important? You can’t become a Queen (yes with a capital Q) until you begin to discover the beautiful, wonderful, unique YOU. Woman…you are like no other. You were born for a purpose and have an incredible destiny. However, you will never discover it until you learn to love the woman you are…bumps, bruises, scars and all.

If you’re serious about answering the following question, you’ll have to do some radical things that may be uncomfortable. But, it’s only for a bit and will pass. Don’t be wimpy now…you can do this.

Do You Love You?

1. Answer that question truthfully. Be brutally honest with yourself.
2. List the things you like and don’t like about yourself on a piece of paper. First column the good. Second column the bad.

What’s next?

1. Give it to God. Give all the items on your bad and good list to God. Tell Him especially about the bad stuff.
2. Ask God to help. Ask Him to help you change or remove all the junk you’re carrying inside.
3. Don’t obsess. Never about the things that can’t change now or ever. Let it go. None of us are perfect.
4. Pick one thing. Do not pick more than one item of change at a time on your list. You’ll fail. Once you’ve conquered the first one go on to the next. Don’t be discouraged if it takes a long time. Life happens. All of us are required to work things out constantly (at its proper time).
5. Seek Help. If the change is going to be very difficult, seek help from a friend, accountability partner or a professional counselor. Acknowledging you need help is a sign of strength not weakness.
6. Forgive yourself. We are our own worst critics and jury. If God forgot about it why shouldn’t we? It’s done. You can’t go back and undo it. Learn from it and move on.
7. Take responsibility and ownership. Don’t blame others for where you are or who you have become. You are not what people say you are. Choose to believe what God says you are. You’re loved, beautiful, amazing, wonderful, precious, valuable and unique...one of a kind mama!
8. Make a positive out of the negative. IE: Share with others how you overcame or survived that tragedy, experience, etc in a positive way. It will remove the focus of the hurt off of you and channel it as a way out for someone else.

There’s one saying I love and I try my best to live by…”be true to thy self”.

To me it means that each day I have the opportunity to live life the best way that I can.

It means that it’s okay if I don’t feel like I have it all together all of the time. I accept that will never happen.

It means that I understand that I won’t be the perfect mom, wife, daughter, sister, niece or friend all of the time.

It means that I will strive to learn something new each day because as I learn I can enrich my life and the life of others. (Hey I am a teacher at heart.)

It means it isn’t all about me…ever.

It means that each day I choose happiness and live it. This is a struggle some times but not impossible.

Being true to myself is living the way God expects me to because it challenges me, motivates me and pushes me to a higher level, standard and expectation that dares me to live to the fullest as the unique Queen Roz.

My prayer and wish for you is that you may realize your value, not to encourage arrogance but cheer you on until you unveil and discover your uniqueness…oh beautiful Queen.

Be bold, be courageous and love your inner woman.

Now say the following with me – like you mean it…

I am woman…hear me ROAR!

Mom, Why do You Pray in Fear?

Isn’t it true that most mothers pray out of fear over their children? When we pray for blessing, it’s because we fear that they will not have enough in whatever area. When we pray for wisdom, we fear because we believe they are making the wrong choices. When we pray for protection, we fear because of where they have decided to, because of where they are or because we don’t want them to get hurt in their travels (especially if they’re driving). When we pray for healing, we fear because they are a little sick and we do not want them to become a lot sick, or they are a lot sick and we do not want them to get worst. One can argue those are normal and valid reasons to pray and the motivations are not out of fear for the most part, or is it?

The other day after a quick worried-filled prayer was sent up there was a check about my motivation and my stance behind the prayer. The understanding came immediately and after the ugggghh and grrr and grumble, a second prayer was sent up that made the last one sound seriously lame -  like a beggar’s plea.

What’s sad is a lot of us have done or continue to do that. Our prayer sound like this ~ Oh God please, please, please help so and so because I will die if I lose them.

Don’t get me wrong, God hears our heart and there are times in our desperation that’s all that comes out. We are not talking about those times. We are talking about when our prayers are constantly like that. I can imagine the whole heavenly host that surrounds us shake their heads or maybe even slap their forehead in disappointment.

Do you know that when we pray wimpy, fearful prayers, we’re basically saying I have no authority and I don’t believe my prayers can be answered? When your prayers are consistently and constantly from a stance of a beggar, out of fear, out of desperation and/or frustration, it is a clear indicator that you do not understand the authority that God as placed in you as His child.

Perhaps this is not you and your prayers don’t sound as desperate and sound more like this ~ God let your will determine if my daughter should go to that particular college but you know I  am not comfortable with the area that it is in and she’s far away and I’m not sure if that’s the place she should go.  

This doesn’t sound like a wimpy prayer. It actually sounds like a regular prayer with some wishy-washy sentiment in it and if you paid some attention, it happened to be fueled by fear. Now, one can argue, well I talk to God about everything and that is awesome, but, is the talk the actual prayer you want answered?  

Imagine if God was sitting right in front of you and the conversation went like this? 

Me: God let your will determine if my daughter should go to that particular college.

God: She can go wherever she wants. I told her I will never forsake her or leave her. You do want her and my decision to be honored no? I mean your daughter and I already talked about it.

Me:  Well… but you know I am not comfortable with the area.

God: So you don’t trust my protection over your kid?

Me: Well that’s not what I meant, it’s that she’s far away and…

God: But I thought we agreed that she already knows I won’t leave her and you do know she has a host of angels around her…um so what’s the problem?

Me:  Well I’m not sure that’s the place she should go (with little tude and frustration)

God: Really Roz…isn’t the real problem that you’re a bit fearful because your girlie is not going to be  under your roof and care? Don’t you trust me?

After that conversation, one would think twice about continual wimpy conversation and our prayers would sound more like this ~Lord as my daughter’s authority I pray over her life. Let her decisions be sound and blessed by you. God thank you that you are in the mix and leading of my daughter’s decision and that the outcome will be good and blessed.

This type of prayer acknowledges your authority as a child of God and it becomes more powerful when you add a verse in a positive, expectant stance. This stance should be consistent and constant after the initial human melt down and after all the additional human melt downs that you will experience during the wait for a miracle. God understands our humanity, but He also expects you to step up into the spiritual realm so that YOU can call in those things that were not as though they were because we are supposed to mimic our daddy God.

Easier said than done…absolutely! But it can be done and it is expected.

Mom you are the most influential chick in a kid’s life. It’s “my” opinion that God always answers a mom’s tear-filled prayers because his heart wells up with compassion. But I also think, He would rather see less tears and more spiritual tude because He always has our back. We just have to say and pray the word.