I sit here in front of the computer and debate whether to write this or not. Perhaps it's because people do not like to hear the realities of this season.
The season that brings the greatest joy, the investment of family and friendship also ushers in moments of despair and loneliness for many. This knowledge weighs heavy in my heart and I question whether I can make a difference, whether all of us who are so blessed, can make a difference.
It doesn't take much to reach out. It doesn't take much to tell that someone who may be alone or who has struggled with depression that there's room at a party, that they're invited, that they are missed...that they mean something.
It doesn't take much to extend forgiveness or ask for the same even when you are the offended one. Pride is what holds us back and keeps us imprisoned all the while providing the justification we hold on to so dearly...and for what?...the satisfaction of being right?
I look back still with guilt of the could have - should have. I know that guilt doesn't come from God but during this season, I can't help but wonder...what if? You see she was supposed to be my girl but I did not reach out. She didn't want us in her life...at least that is what I thought based on my perception of her behavior. However, inside there was that little girl that screamed for attention, that screamed for help in that young woman's body and none of us heard her…or did we?
What if I had placed my pride to the side? What if I looked for her anyway? What if I showed more compassion and love? What if I remembered her story and therefore had become more understanding of her behavior? The what ifs drown me at times.
Where is the fine line where you release someone - to their own actions - to God? When is it right or wrong to do that? Is it wrong to give up on someone when there's nothing else you can do?
Her spiral down a destructive path was her choice, but what if I had reached out anyway? Would it have made a difference? I don't know. She was angry at the world. She felt beaten and completely defeated.
Over the years I've seen my Desi in the eyes of others; in the heart break of those gals who have given up on the inside.
In this season I am reminded of how I lost her and my heart shatters into a million pieces once again...then I'm reminded of Romans 8:28. All things work together for good. The loss of Desi was one of the most devastating experiences I ever had but it changed my life. I learned from it and channeled my grief into something positive.
I learned to reach out.
Yesterday Pastor Olsteen taught about giving people some slack, especially when the conduct of others is not agreeable to us. He explained that we all have a story. A person's story is based on how they grow up, the experiences they've gone through, etc. We have a tendency of comparison to ourselves and when people don't meet our standards, we become inclined to dismiss them because they're not like us. This comes in the form of criticism or judgment but we don't know their story.
The flip side is that some of us do know the story and just become tired of the same destructive behavior. I wish he had spoken about that. Perhaps he would just tell me – ‘well Roz love them anyway. You don’t need to be influenced or accept their bad behavior but you can still love them’.
Reach out anyway. Say hello when you can. Take any opportunity to say I love you. Don’t delay to say I forgive you or please forgive me. Put pride aside – it’s just pride. Reach out.
The season that brings the greatest joy, the investment of family and friendship also ushers in moments of despair and loneliness for many. This knowledge weighs heavy in my heart and I question whether I can make a difference, whether all of us who are so blessed, can make a difference.
It doesn't take much to reach out. It doesn't take much to tell that someone who may be alone or who has struggled with depression that there's room at a party, that they're invited, that they are missed...that they mean something.
It doesn't take much to extend forgiveness or ask for the same even when you are the offended one. Pride is what holds us back and keeps us imprisoned all the while providing the justification we hold on to so dearly...and for what?...the satisfaction of being right?
I look back still with guilt of the could have - should have. I know that guilt doesn't come from God but during this season, I can't help but wonder...what if? You see she was supposed to be my girl but I did not reach out. She didn't want us in her life...at least that is what I thought based on my perception of her behavior. However, inside there was that little girl that screamed for attention, that screamed for help in that young woman's body and none of us heard her…or did we?
What if I had placed my pride to the side? What if I looked for her anyway? What if I showed more compassion and love? What if I remembered her story and therefore had become more understanding of her behavior? The what ifs drown me at times.
Where is the fine line where you release someone - to their own actions - to God? When is it right or wrong to do that? Is it wrong to give up on someone when there's nothing else you can do?
Her spiral down a destructive path was her choice, but what if I had reached out anyway? Would it have made a difference? I don't know. She was angry at the world. She felt beaten and completely defeated.
Over the years I've seen my Desi in the eyes of others; in the heart break of those gals who have given up on the inside.
In this season I am reminded of how I lost her and my heart shatters into a million pieces once again...then I'm reminded of Romans 8:28. All things work together for good. The loss of Desi was one of the most devastating experiences I ever had but it changed my life. I learned from it and channeled my grief into something positive.
I learned to reach out.
Yesterday Pastor Olsteen taught about giving people some slack, especially when the conduct of others is not agreeable to us. He explained that we all have a story. A person's story is based on how they grow up, the experiences they've gone through, etc. We have a tendency of comparison to ourselves and when people don't meet our standards, we become inclined to dismiss them because they're not like us. This comes in the form of criticism or judgment but we don't know their story.
The flip side is that some of us do know the story and just become tired of the same destructive behavior. I wish he had spoken about that. Perhaps he would just tell me – ‘well Roz love them anyway. You don’t need to be influenced or accept their bad behavior but you can still love them’.
Reach out anyway. Say hello when you can. Take any opportunity to say I love you. Don’t delay to say I forgive you or please forgive me. Put pride aside – it’s just pride. Reach out.
