I had experienced some abnormalities for about 6 weeks, and after several calls decided it was time to go to another doctor for a second opinion. Within a few days, I had an appointment. The exam revealed that I had four times the amount of uterine lining and a biopsy was required. The biopsy was to be done to rule out or confirm cancer and the appointment was made for the next office day. The doctor was moving fast and it couldn’t have come at a worst time. An article and a book review were due, I was my boss’ in charge as she was on vacation, and I was scheduled to speak at my mother’s church. It all converged and needless to say, I was a bit overwhelmed.
Over the past few months, I decided to invest more time in certain friendships and I was grateful that I did because I needed support. I only told the gals that I knew would be positive. The last thing I needed was for someone to go blow by blow with the what-ifs. I wanted and needed to hear that everything was going to be okay.
I felt the overwhelming need to be covered by my pastor in prayer. For some it’s the norm as they depend on that. For me, it was out of the ordinary. I always feel that God hears me so I’m a big girl and can go speak to him myself if I need anything. But this time, it was very different. I had an urgent sense and tugging inside that told me I need the covering of his prayers. I couldn’t meet him before the biopsy. So went right after – no dragged right after. The biopsy turned out to be a pretty painful experience. They do that type of procedure without any anesthesia and while in there, decided to take down some of the lining. The uterus contracts during that type of procedure and a woman experiences some labor pain. I remembered why I did not want to have any more children.
When we reached my pastor’s house, he gave me a big hug and reassured me that all was going to be okay. I explained what was happening and told them I was more freaked out about talking at my mom’s church than the results. He and his awesome wife (I have to write about her someday soon – she inspires me) prayed over me. My pastor made what I call a whiplash prayer. It’s those types of prayers that make you whip your neck around and say ‘no you didn’t’. My husband does those too. Those types of prayers are not disrespectful. They’re just totally bold. I walked out of there with peace because I realized at that point that the covering I wanted was more for the speaking part than the healing.
I had asked the doctor not to give me the results that same week because I wanted a clear head for my Sunday message. It felt so good to be at my childhood church and I saw so many people that meant so much to me. The message went well and I got prayed over by the current pastor at the church once again, this time I didn’t have to ask. We stopped at City Island for shrimps on the way home and to be honest, I was content. The day went really well.
The next morning the dread crept up and I knew that the doctor would call with the results. The battle was on with the good angel on one shoulder and the evil one on the other. The good one would say, ‘you’re okay…you have way too much to do’. The evil one would say, ‘great…now you’re going to have to battle this and you have way too much to do’. I wanted it over and done with so I called the office. They told me the doctor would call soon. As time moved forward, I started to feel physically sick and yelled at myself for allowing it. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust God. I did and do but had gone through a couple of rough patches with my health 6 months prior. I must have told God 3,000 times that morning that I didn’t have time for another interruption.
The call finally came in from the doctor and he paused. That pause sucks. Your mind is fast and all sorts of things go through it in those small pauses. I wanted to scream spit it out man. The results came back normal. The sense of relief was an understatement. I thanked God, called back my pastor because he was way ahead of me and had called earlier asking about the results, and updated all of my family and friends that stood by me with the good news.
I then stopped myself and prayed for all of those that didn’t get good news. I realized once again how totally blessed I am in every area of my life.
I’ve learned a few things during this small crisis and wanted to share with you…
1. I am my greatest medical advocate. When something doesn’t feel right I need to take the care of myself seriously even if that means seeing another doctor.
2. The investments of relationships are vital and necessary. God didn’t put us on this earth to go it alone.
3. It’s important to have the covering and blessing of your pastor when stepping out and doing new things or things you haven’t done in a long time like speak at a Sunday service.
4. None of us are immune to fear; that includes me. But when faced with the test, it’s good to know that God is ALWAYS present, and no matter what, He’s in control. He’ll work it out for good.
5. There are those who received the bad news and results that need our prayers. It doesn’t matter if we don’t know them.
Even before this happened, I’ve always been grateful for the life I’ve been given and the awesome opportunities that are presented to me each and every day. It’s my hope that you will embrace life with a grateful and expectant heart for what is and what is to come.
