Give Me the Tissue and Wrapping Paper

The other day, we celebrated my God daughter’s second birthday. It is always a pleasure to watch toddler open gifts. We observe how their eyes light up and how a smile is plastered on their face. We anticipate the excitement that comes from ripping open the wrapping paper and the bliss and discovery of what’s inside. We become elated when the reaction to the gift is surprise, glee - pure enjoyment. Then something funny occurs. The child gets distracted by something much simpler like the tissue in the gift bag, the wrapping paper or the box the gift came in and as adults we shake our heads and wonder why.

Teresa Peruzzi Faubel Bouquet

Perhaps the toddlers are on to something that we tend to ignore. Think about it. Each day we have gifts that are given to us, but we walk around with ungrateful hearts and with attitudes that plainly suck. We feel that life owes us and we are never satisfied or happy with what we have. Maybe it’s time we look at the tissue or wrapping paper with a bit more curiosity.


Gift of Morning
Each day that you wake up is a gift. It doesn’t matter what your body, your mind or your emotional state is in. The gift of morning means you are given one more day to make a difference. You have the choice to dwell on you or dwell on doing what you were placed here for. The tissue and the wrapping are not about you. It’s about the attention you give to others and how you make a difference in their lives. It will help you appreciate that you’re alive, today…this moment.

Gift of Afternoon
Days roll by quick and often we’re so busy that we miss out on exhaling and just being. Afternoons are the time of day when absolutely anything can happen. We hunger for food, companionship and a well deserved break, but few take advantage of that gift. The gift of afternoon encourages the time for individual nourishment in all levels. The tissue and the wrapping is what are often ignored here because the pressure of work (home or job) has thrown them to the side. Balanced life means balanced nutrition of you; body, soul and mind and this includes relational too.

Gift of Evening
This is the time of day where all can be seen as a chore. Dinner must be made, kitchens need to be cleaned and children need to be bathed…yes the list goes on. We dread what is waiting. What if the tissue paper and wrapping is in the doing of all those things? The gift of evening is a reminder of all that we need to be grateful for. It’s not in the big things. It’s always has been about the small, everyday things that we often assume will always be there. Dinners are conversational and highlighted moments that will be cherished one day. Kids grow up fast. One day you’ll ache for those crazy evenings long gone. If you have to clean stuff, remember that there are others that don’t have. Count your blessings.

Gift of Night
As we wind down and are consumed with exhaustion, our minds tell us with resentment or resignation, ‘and we get to do this again tomorrow’? If only you were aware how many people wish they had a tomorrow? They live day to day wishing. The gift of night ushers in rest and gives us the opportunity to hope for a better and greater tomorrow. Our outlook determines our attitude. The tissue and the wrapper is the remembrance of the small stuff throughout the day that we should have paid attention to that whispers, speaks or screams loudly that we are loved. Wouldn’t that change our feelings at the end of the day to that of contentment?

Toddlers are amazing. You should observe them from time to time. They entertain themselves with the simplest of things. They love life. They’re feisty, first thing in the morning, revving to see what they can discover. Toddlers often let you know what their favorite foods are rather quickly and will eat it as often as they can get it. (My youngest was chicken nuggets and French fries!) Play time is their absolute favorite time, with friends – event better, and if it can be the entire day, why not? They love being talked to, hugged, kissed and cuddled with. Mushy time is okay and they do it with abandonment. They fight nap or sleep time because life is just too much fun but they eventually succumb and every once in a while, you’ll catch a glimpse of a smile that touches their lips as they dream. Then they get to do it all over again because they expect a great tomorrow.

Focus on the gift of tissue and wrapping paper and make it a point to give those gifts to yourself and others, each and every day.

The Negative Monkey

It was a hot summer day at Coney Island beach. My cousins and I had split up to look for William, known as the adventurous wanderer of our clan. The sand was hot under our feet and our throats were hoarse from yelling. We continued on our search, when all of the sudden, I felt a hand grab my leg. It wasn’t an ordinary hand; it felt rubbery. When I looked down, I began to scream and shake my leg to try to pry off the furry body that decided to wrap its arms around me. I had my first encounter with a monkey – up close!

Apparently someone decided to take their chimp to the beach that day. Needless to say, he became friendly with me and there was no convincing him to let go. Just like my cousin, the monkey decided to explore the beach on his own. My screams and I’m sure the hysterical show that both monkey and I must have given, attracted a lot of attention. The owner finally heard the story about the screaming girl (which traveled down the beach rather quickly) and came to my rescue. I can’t remember if my cousin William showed up at the same time the owner did, but I do recall being the brunt of my cousins’ jokes for weeks on end.

Isn’t it incredible how memories can be so vivid, and although forgotten for a while, can become so relevant in our lives when we do remember them? What an awful feeling it was when that monkey hung on to my leg…and what a relief it was when the owner finally pried him off.

Often times we feel the same way when we let go of people that hinder us. But what happens when that person is you? Obviously, we can’t dismiss ourselves and so the challenge becomes how to modify our behavior, especially our thoughts.

Our thoughts define who we are and what we become.

We talk to ourselves more than anyone else in our lifetime. From the moment we open our eyes, till the moment we place our head on a pillow, our self talk is non-stop. We have the power to create a wonderful day or ruin it, via our thoughts. It’s no secret that good thoughts just like bad ones become habits. If you don’t believe it, take a look around you and listen to how people speak for a few days. A happy and successful person focuses on the good in all situations and speaks positively. A cranky, defeated and unfulfilled person focuses on the bad and speaks negatively. If we were to compare the positive and negative person, which of the two would you say had a visit with the negative monkey? I bet you’d be inclined to say the negative person but in reality both were visited. The difference is that one decided not to listen and the other took the monkey to heart.

What is the negative monkey?

It’s the pessimistic voice that pops up inside of your head. It’s the voice that whispers in your ear that you are worthless, you’ll never amount to anything and let’s face it – you’re just a woman. It reminds, in a cynical way, that you are the fragile one, too emotional to be consistent - rejected as the weaker sex. Yes, we’ve been told, we’ve listened and we’ve believe. We even speak the same negative nonsense into our own lives.

The negative monkey is a universal demon that tries to invade our space, and his goal is to steal away our inner joy and appreciation of self. It causes us to focus on what we lack and encourages us to do nothing about it. It gladly pulls in the past and plays it before us like a sitcom rerun. Over time, it can take hold of our minds, if we let it.

So how do we rid ourselves of this destructive chimp?
We scream, jump up and down and wait for the owner to come and pry it off! Actually that is not far from the truth. Let me explain with the following steps.

Scream. It will get your attention. It will push you to be stern within yourself, especially when it’s time to stop anything destructive in your life.

Jump up and down. Sometimes we need to take drastic measures to shake up our lives with radical changes.

Pry it off. When we take responsibility for what we’ve allowed into our lives, we become the owner. Ownership gives us the power to pry free from anything.

We all have the ability to change. We just need the courage to acknowledge we can change and follow through.

Stop listening to the negative monkey and be kind to yourself. Focus on the good and take the time to discover or unearth the positive inside of you. Start to believe in yourself.

Don’t stop there. Pay attention to what God says about you. If you’re unsure, go take a look in the Bible. You’ll discover throughout that God constantly validates you, believes in you and expects the best for you and from you.

Finally, make it a point to counteract the negative with a positive each and every time. Rid yourself of the outside and inside negative influences and become the woman you are destined to be.