Nurture the Girl

Whenever we read anything that begins with the word nurture, we often think of health. If you’re a woman, you tend to think of your loved ones’ health and nutrition. Let’s face it, if you’re a woman responsible for a family, you refer to your never-ending checklist… physicals, dentist, vitamins, sports, etc. The list goes on and on. However, when it comes to yourself, your list is short in comparison, and I’ll even bet you’re on the bottom of the list.

Women are nurturers by design and we do it well – with everyone else!

Why is that? The simple answer is that we are busy. Most of us work and/or are also involved with our children’s school, the community or our church. 

We proudly wear the big S underneath our blouses and we hum to the song “I am strong, I am invincible…I am woman”. Unfortunately, being multi-task queens eventually wear us out and causes a lot of damage inside with evidence outside.

Have you ever wondered why you’ve gained or lost a lot of weight, have zits, can’t sleep, are always tired, are depressed, have anxiety attacks and always feel rushed? Do you wonder why weekends are no longer a time of rest? Sounds like you? Don’t feel bad. Sounds like me too but I am learning to live more and exist less. You see, when you’re life is a whirlwind of activities; it sucks out the fun and appreciation of moments. You begin to exist from one rushed moment to the next; one rushed activity to the next; one rushed day to the next.

How do we stop the madness and begin to nurture ourselves? Perhaps you feel that to be last on the list is the wrong thing. That is a misconception and erroneous thinking. How can you nurture well, if you are unhealthy in every area of your life? You are the prime example to all in your care. Your daughters, sons, nieces, nephews, grandchildren, etc. will do the same exact thing when they grow up.

So how do we begin to change and learn to pace ourselves correctly? Begin with this: Remember that you are the temple of the Holy Spirit. That means you have the responsibility to take care of you in every area of your life.

We often think that God is pleased with our do especially when our do includes a list that is a mile long that we have imposed on ourselves. We volunteer for everything and anything and NO is not part of our vocabulary. Perhaps it is time for a change. Maybe it’s time for us to Nurture the Girl. She’s the one that lives inside of you, that voice you constantly hear. She tells you often that she just can’t. She is overwhelmed. She needs help. She needs some nurture time.

Here are some quick steps I’ve incorporated and continue to. It’s a journey and not an over night fix but it is a step in the right direction. How do I know? My teenage daughters have noticed the change about and around me.

1. Give yourself a break. It’s okay if everything cannot get done. Tomorrow is another day.
2. Give yourself some time. Even if it is a couple of hours, alone in the tub, out with a girlfriend or your honey, or alone doing a pedicure or reading a good book.
3. Give yourself some money. Dollars add up. Set aside a few bucks every pay period for yourself. Buy a new dress, shoes, real or costume jewelry. Remember when we used to play princess when we were kids?
4. Give yourself some rest. If you’re truly worn out, send the kid(s) to grandma or whomever you trust and sleep in on a Saturday and don’t feel guilty about it.
5. Give yourself some attention. Make your doctor, dentist and GYN appointments a priority. You’ll live long and get to see your grand babies.
6. Give yourself healthy habits. I remember when I could lose 5 lb in a week. Gosh I’m lucky if I can lose that in a month. Get my drift? Eat right and move.
7. Give yourself permission to say NO. Admit you can’t do it all. It’s liberating.
8. Give yourself the power to delegate. It’s incredible how many people are around you who are just waiting for you to ask.
9. Give yourself the chance to dream. We get frustrated because we don’t have time to work on our dreams. Planning is doing. Perhaps you can’t do it right now but you can plan for when you can.
10. Give of yourself to you. You give to others constantly. Learn to listen to you when she needs you. She is pretty good with warning you when you’re doing too much, need medical attention, basically need nourishment physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

We can be our worst enemies or our best caregivers. It has nothing to do with being selfish and everything to do with being a great nurturer.

Nurturer…nurture thy self…nurture the girl.