Just Like Mary

Often times we don’t feel very blessed. As a matter of fact, we don’t feel blessed at all. We don’t see the blessing of waking up each morning to get our kids ready or family out the door. We don’t see the blessing in having to cook and clean. We don’t see the blessing of having to go to work. We just don’t see it because we’re focused on the routine of getting through yet another day.

New Season of Bloom

But did it ever occur to you to really think about how blessed you are.

When you look at Luke chapter 1 verse 28 – it says that an angel came to Mary and he said to her “Rejoice, highly favored one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women!”

Notice the exclamation point at the end. It was an excited statement. We’re used to a solemn announcement but it wasn’t. It was done with a loud and excited delivery.
Jesus was deposited in Mary. There was excitement about how favored she was – highly favored - and how blessed she was.

Did you know that you’re just like Mary – in God’s eyes? You have Jesus in you – the Holy Spirit of the living God inside of you.

Just like Mary you are favored – highly favored and blessed among women.

Wow can you get that? Do you get that?

Mary was considered the most favored woman in the history of the human race…and for some reason we think she continues to be the only one. We can’t see that we are as blessed because it has been ingrained in our minds that she is the untouchable-holy woman.

So here’s a question to all you doubters. What made the difference when God chose Mary?

It was not the announcement. It was her willingness to accept Jesus into her life despite of who she was, how she was viewed in society, what family she came from, etc. etc. etc.

You are highly favored and blessed among women because the same Jesus that lived in Mary lives in you.

Full Bloom in Roz' Garden

Don’t forget that…ever.

In Honor of Mary

This is the season where I often wondered about Mary. This past Sunday, my pastor’s topic covered some of Mary’s challenges. However, I found I was able to relate to her even more looking at it from a woman’s point of view. As a matter of fact, Mary has floated upward on my admiration list because of her unwavering stance to believe even when it meant absolute rejection and possible death.

Her Story
All Jewish girls were told the story of the redemption promise and how one of them would be chosen to bring forth the Messiah. For the gals of that day this was a great deal and an honor. It meant your family would automatically be considered royalty (in the eyes of society). Some of the girls perhaps focused on the prestige and fame it would give them, but others focused on the true meaning of birthing the Messiah. I believe that Mary was the latter.

Mary came from a poor home and was a Jewish maiden in a Roman empire. It is believed that she was in her early teens when the angel appeared to her. She had the daunting task of explaining to Joseph she was pregnant. In those days, sex before marriage was a valid reason to have stones thrown at you, and I’m not talking small pebbles. Imagine the dread this poor girl must have felt knowing the consequences if no one believed her story.

Kudos to Joseph
At first, Joseph did not believe her and was planning to send her away quietly. Most men of those days would have not only dropped her but would have denounced her in public (in a heart beat) and this would’ve been considered justified and right. (This speaks a lot about Joseph’s character and says volumes as to why he was chosen to be the Savior’s earthly dad.) God caught up with Joseph, revealed his plan, and Joseph not only married her, he stood by her when breaking the news to the parents (who probably had a few choice words before believing them) and stood by her side during possible ridicules from relatives or neighbors.

Why Her?

What made God choose Mary from the gazillion other women that lived up to her time? I have to believe it was a number of things. Mary’s heart condition in combination with her belief system was right where it should be. You see she had nothing to boast about, wasn’t in the circle of high society or the priesthood, but she knew the most important thing. She knew God, she knew his word, and she trusted Him.

Mary’s Ingredients

She Knew God
Mary obviously had a relationship with God and she had heard enough of the “promise” which made her desire it wholeheartedly.

She Understood His WordShe understood what that promise would bring. She wasn’t focused on riches or prestige but on the deliverance it would bring her people.

She Trusted Him
You can’t walk in faith unless you trust God. Mary obviously decided to trust God even though she was well aware of the challenges she was going to face in lieu of her condition. Think about it…
She decided to believe an angel (most people would say she’s seeing things).
She put it all on the line with the man she was engaged to by telling him the news.
She had to break that same news to her parents (in those days you might as well have left the country – those of you who had strict Latino upbringing like me understand what I’m saying).
And finally, she had to face the possibility of facing an angry law-abiding mob (that would have stoned her).
That would have made any sane gal shut her mouth and pretend like it never happened.

However in Mary’s case she understood that you can’t receive an awesome revelation unless you’re ready to receive it, and you can’t receive it unless you’re expecting it. You can’t expect it unless you are aware of it, and you can’t be aware of it unless you are making the time to embrace it. (After all revelation comes with relationship, right?)

The Right Mix
Although, Mary was the most unlikely girl to be chosen based on the outside, she was the one who was honored because of what was going on inside. Let me simplify it a little more. God chose a girl from the ghetto, who wasn’t part of the dominant nation or culture of her time, and who was destined to remain where she was at. She couldn’t even study or marry her way out (which is different today). However, because Mary had the right attitude in heart and mind, God honored her like no one else could.

How does that apply for us today?
It doesn’t matter where you’re at as long as you have a Mary’s heart that knows God, understands His word, and trusts Him. It doesn’t matter who in this world has told you that you cannot, as long as you have these ingredients, you can. It doesn’t matter where you live, what education you have, where you have been, which circles you frequent, or how much recognition you’ve raised or haven’t received. All of us are chosen in a unique way, but few of us realize or live our maximum potential.

If Mary had the insight that allowed her to be used as a vessel for something spectacular (Jesus), can you imagine our potential for greatness?

To Mary -- in honor of a young woman whose example showed the world how to be chosen for magnificent things.

Breathe in the Moment

Today I woke up with a smile on my face and with a thankful heart. That wasn’t always the case during the holiday seasons. In the past it seemed we had illnesses or death around the holidays, and each year there was a sense of dread and negative expectancy; or we were in mourning for a dear one that had passed.

As we sat in one of my uncle’s 70^th birthday, I noticed that my family members were genuinely happy to be there. We have a rather large extended family and make the effort to get together as much as possible. My uncle Louie took on the task of kicking off family reunions every year and that has allowed us to rekindle our bonds.

The other day while speaking to my sister, we talked about our last gathering. There was one statement that caught my attention. She mentioned that we all have come to the place where we all just breathe in the moment. It took us a while but we have learned and continue to learn not to look back at the past with sadness and not to look forward to the future with dread. We just breathe in the moment. We take mental pictures, actually we take a lot of regular pictures too and we genuinely enjoy each other’s company.

Perhaps the holidays are a dread to you because of past family hurts or because you may feel you don’t have a family. Reality is that we all have a family or several families. It may not necessarily be blood. Family consists of those who have invested themselves, their time and their love in us. It goes beyond blood. It’s those folks that embrace who we are, quarks and all, who come along side us during the good, the bad and the ugly and still love us. They may not necessarily tell us, but they show us each time they get.

Breathe in the moment doesn’t just happen. You have to cultivate yourself into that state of mind. Here are some of the things my family has learned and continues to learn.

• Accept that you are not flawless. None of us are perfect. When you get that you tend to be a bit more forgiving.
• Forgive yourself. We all make mistakes and each day provides us a new opportunity to be our best.
• Forgive others. It will liberate you. To forgive is harder than to harbor but it keeps you out of your hand-tailored prison.
• Love…show it and say it. Life is short and regret doesn’t bring back anyone from the grave.
• Strengthen your relationships now. Don’t wait.
• Start new relationships. Get plugged into a church and community. Loneliness is a choice.
• Do not focus on the negative. Replace the negative thoughts with positive. Hope is better than despair.
• Speak positive. Life and death is in the power of the tongue. Don’t kill yourself, someone else, mess up your life, someone else’s, your destiny, your future, your family, (the list can go on) because of the words that you say. You are what you speak. We truly believe that.
• Make each moment count. Be purposeful. Plan your day well.
• Pace yourself. What’s the rush?
• Enjoy life. Stop and look up at the sky. Even when the sky is gray it’s amazing. You get to live another day and start over if you need to.

This Mama's Value

For the past 2 years, we have the privilege of watching this bird create a nest outside our living room window. What came to mind was when Jesus said, "look" at the birds of the air. He didn't start the sentence with "The".  He said look and that means that there must have been birds nearby that he pointed to.  He used a live illustration to get a point across. 

In Israel you have harsh conditions and it begs to make anyone wonder how birds survive. I remember when we were in the fortress of Masada, there were birds called Tristrams. When you look around there’s only desert for miles around. Where did they get food? How did they hide from the scorching sun? Where do they get drinkable water?

Considering the harsh winter we had, I was surprised my mama bird survived. I had to ask myself where did she go to survive the harsh winter and how did she sustain herself. 

Of course I went back to Jesus’ parable and as I read, I glanced up once again at the mama bird perched outside my window. Look at the birds of the air (in my case the nest), they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable then they? (NIV)

Most people will emphasize the message “not to worry,” but do not stop long enough to unpack the nugget that Jesus mentions right before that.  Are you not much more valuable then they?

You and I are valuable. We have value.

When you grasp how valuable you are as an individual, it ushers in the realization of how loved you are by God. The love of God is something many of us share but few of us experience. It’s hard to explain the depth of love. People cannot understand it until they experience it. You can be a Christian and not have experienced the depth of God’s love. I think that’s why this story is sweet, it’s nice, it’s hopeful but it carries no weight for many. You see, love doesn’t get quantified until there’s relationship. In order for me or you to feel value from someone, there has to be relationship and not just any relationship. The relationship has to be deep for there to be trust.

Here’s the beauty of this whole message though. God’s willingness to care for you is not based on the depth of your relationship with Him. However, your belief of His willingness is based on the investment you place in your relationship with Him. The more you know God (not ‘of’ God), the easier it will be for you to expect God’s goodness and provision.

So each morning when I look out my window, yea I can be reminded not to worry because He’s got it. But…I think I like the “I’m much more valuable” message a lot better. I am valuable to God. He views me with value. He thinks highly of me. I am precious to Him.

Today, slow down and look at the birds of the air. Smile and know that you are valuable and therefore, well taken care of.

Getting By is Not Enough

Creativity never dies. It just gets stunted or tangled up when one doesn’t cultivate or nurture.

Outside my beautiful flower pots had become a tangled mess of live and dead flowers. As I began to separate them, I remembered the importance to prune. Unfortunately, I didn’t take the time to do that and it hurt the flowers in those pots.

As I began to untangle the flowers that became intertwined, I noticed several things that automatically translated into some life doings.

I had planted too many flowers in my large pots.

The nurseries recommend that you leave a few inches between each flower or plant. The reason they say this is because it gives the plant space to grow healthy, deep roots and flourish comfortably sideways.

•  Sometimes we get so excited about different ventures that we take on way too much and do not slow down enough to ask ourselves if it enhances our current gifts or talents or hinders them. It gets further complicated because we tend not to learn any one thing well or let it take deep root and flourish correctly. 

My flowers looked like they needed attention (badly).

Don’t get me wrong, I watered them almost everyday as needed. So they were getting the nutrition that they needed. However, water and fertilizer is not enough. A lot of flowers need to be pinched and pruned. This promotes the continuity of healthy growth. I neglected to do that although I knew I had to, and it was apparent by looking at them that they needed it.

• As we get older we learn that getting by is not enough. We understand that the investment of time and oneself is what ultimately brings desired results. If your life garden remains the same, it’s because you’re not doing enough to change it. Change is uncomfortable and sometimes painful. Sometimes it’s necessary to cut back or drop certain things, habits and people so that the manifestation of your gifts and talents can flourish. 

Dead Weight

As I untangled the flowers, many fell out automatically because they were unable to establish good roots. There were some that had become so long they looked straggly. Some had very dried leaves although they continued to flower. As I began to cut and search for all the dead sections, I noticed that they had become a negative weight to the healthy ones in the pot. The unhealthy and dead flowers were detrimental to the live ones.

• Just because something worked a certain way in the past to bring good results doesn’t mean that it will necessarily work in the present. When you look at successful people, there is one trait that you’ll notice. They’re not afraid to try the same something a different way which means whatever didn’t work gets filed away and used only as a learning reference.

Where did all the flowers go?

I should be sad to report that my pots look pretty miserable right now and although it’s true, the pots look pretty pathetic, I know from experience that in a few short weeks, those pots will be filled with gorgeous healthy flowers. And…if that doesn’t work, I can always put new pretty ones in.

• Less for the most part is always more. One thing that maturity in age teaches you is that when you slow down, it provides you insight and perspective you cannot get when you’re in a constant blaze. You appreciate more therefore your output has quality and not necessarily quantity. Your craft becomes polished and achieves what it was destined for in the first place.

When I looked at the heap of dead flowers on the ground, I was reminded of one of my new friends and online business trainer who we affectionately call Tazy. He constantly reminds us the importance of learning something well and successfully before taking on what’s next.

Challenge yourself into growth today. Look at your life garden and see what needs to be pruned and pulled. Once you do, patiently nurture, cultivate and wait for growth. You may have to add new plants but that’s the beauty of the garden of life. We can always change what we want to see grow.

The Wait Challenge

I had experienced some abnormalities for about 6 weeks, and after several calls decided it was time to go to another doctor for a second opinion. Within a few days, I had an appointment. The exam revealed that I had four times the amount of uterine lining and a biopsy was required. The biopsy was to be done to rule out or confirm cancer and the appointment was made for the next office day. The doctor was moving fast and it couldn’t have come at a worst time. An article and a book review were due, I was my boss’ in charge as she was on vacation, and I was scheduled to speak at my mother’s church. It all converged and needless to say, I was a bit overwhelmed.

Over the past few months, I decided to invest more time in certain friendships and I was grateful that I did because I needed support. I only told the gals that I knew would be positive. The last thing I needed was for someone to go blow by blow with the what-ifs. I wanted and needed to hear that everything was going to be okay.

I felt the overwhelming need to be covered by my pastor in prayer. For some it’s the norm as they depend on that. For me, it was out of the ordinary. I always feel that God hears me so I’m a big girl and can go speak to him myself if I need anything. But this time, it was very different. I had an urgent sense and tugging inside that told me I need the covering of his prayers. I couldn’t meet him before the biopsy. So went right after – no dragged right after. The biopsy turned out to be a pretty painful experience. They do that type of procedure without any anesthesia and while in there, decided to take down some of the lining. The uterus contracts during that type of procedure and a woman experiences some labor pain. I remembered why I did not want to have any more children.

When we reached my pastor’s house, he gave me a big hug and reassured me that all was going to be okay. I explained what was happening and told them I was more freaked out about talking at my mom’s church than the results. He and his awesome wife (I have to write about her someday soon – she inspires me) prayed over me. My pastor made what I call a whiplash prayer. It’s those types of prayers that make you whip your neck around and say ‘no you didn’t’. My husband does those too. Those types of prayers are not disrespectful. They’re just totally bold. I walked out of there with peace because I realized at that point that the covering I wanted was more for the speaking part than the healing.

I had asked the doctor not to give me the results that same week because I wanted a clear head for my Sunday message. It felt so good to be at my childhood church and I saw so many people that meant so much to me. The message went well and I got prayed over by the current pastor at the church once again, this time I didn’t have to ask. We stopped at City Island for shrimps on the way home and to be honest, I was content. The day went really well.

The next morning the dread crept up and I knew that the doctor would call with the results. The battle was on with the good angel on one shoulder and the evil one on the other. The good one would say, ‘you’re okay…you have way too much to do’. The evil one would say, ‘great…now you’re going to have to battle this and you have way too much to do’. I wanted it over and done with so I called the office. They told me the doctor would call soon. As time moved forward, I started to feel physically sick and yelled at myself for allowing it. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust God. I did and do but had gone through a couple of rough patches with my health 6 months prior. I must have told God 3,000 times that morning that I didn’t have time for another interruption.

The call finally came in from the doctor and he paused. That pause sucks. Your mind is fast and all sorts of things go through it in those small pauses. I wanted to scream spit it out man. The results came back normal. The sense of relief was an understatement. I thanked God, called back my pastor because he was way ahead of me and had called earlier asking about the results, and updated all of my family and friends that stood by me with the good news.

I then stopped myself and prayed for all of those that didn’t get good news. I realized once again how totally blessed I am in every area of my life.

I’ve learned a few things during this small crisis and wanted to share with you…

1. I am my greatest medical advocate. When something doesn’t feel right I need to take the care of myself seriously even if that means seeing another doctor.

2. The investments of relationships are vital and necessary. God didn’t put us on this earth to go it alone.

3. It’s important to have the covering and blessing of your pastor when stepping out and doing new things or things you haven’t done in a long time like speak at a Sunday service.

4. None of us are immune to fear; that includes me. But when faced with the test, it’s good to know that God is ALWAYS present, and no matter what, He’s in control. He’ll work it out for good.

5. There are those who received the bad news and results that need our prayers. It doesn’t matter if we don’t know them.

Even before this happened, I’ve always been grateful for the life I’ve been given and the awesome opportunities that are presented to me each and every day. It’s my hope that you will embrace life with a grateful and expectant heart for what is and what is to come.

The Life Psalm

For a few weeks now, I've been listening to Jason Upton and I find that his music puts me in a quiet place where I have a chance to reflect. He also has a way of ushering you into God's presence.

One of my favorite songs is Psalm 23. Unfortunately when that Psalm is mentioned, many people automatically think of funerals.  However, that Psalm was never written with death in mind. I believe it was written with life in mind.

King David is one of the bible characters I love because he was real.He talked about how he failed royally time and again but got back up, repented countless times but never lost sight of God entirely. He continually came to God and laid his heart bare before him - the good, the bad and the ugly.

One of the greatest parts of Psalm 23 is where it says surely goodness and mercy will follow me. When you understand that, get it locked in inside of you - deep inside of you - it's hard not to expect good in your life each and everyday despite of what's going on around you. He understood the goodness of God becaue he spent a lot of time with God. He also understood God's mercy and King David did a lot of things in his life that required mercy. The wonderful thing about goodness and mercy is that when it is deep setted inside of you, it becomes an overflow to others.

What are you expecting? If you're expecting bad, that's exactly what you will receive and if you're skimpy on mercy, that is what will be returned to you. I choose to believe in the Life Psalm message of goodness and mercy. I invite you to do the same.

It's Free, Yes FREE!

Every time I walked down into the basement, I heard the theme song of Jaws. It had been weeks since I started sorting through the quagmire of stuff that we had collected over the years.

The Dilemma

Like others who were brave enough to tackle the storage place of the home, I was faced with the dilemma of what to do with all the extra stuff. Then one day I felt something strongly in my heart and I decided to follow through with the idea. Like a crazy, determined woman I pulled all my “good possessions” out of the leftovers and put it to the side.

Tag Giveaway 

One Saturday morning I put up some signs my older daughter made for me. She wondered why I hadn’t put them up the night before and didn’t understand how the word FREE on her signs would catch folks attention. When the first car rolled up an hour before the official start time, she understood that mama knew best and thus began the steady stream of shocked individuals that came to our driveway.

The first woman caught sight of the decorative fences on the lawn and stopped to explain that she had just returned from Home Depot, once she was notified that they had run out of the same fences. She asked how much, even though the signs all the way to the house and on the front lawn said FREE. With a smile I told her she could take them. Perplexed she asked if I was sure, and as soon as I nodded, she happily gathered up all the fences and mentioned she would be back with the kids.

The Steady Stream

As cars and vans rolled up, we noticed a pattern that made us chuckle at the end of the day. Money in hand, folks came over to the table eagerly wanting to part with the green bills for the commodity of their choice. Each asked without fail, how much?

For four hours, I engaged in conversation with many neighbors I had never met.On e woman called 4 friends and came over twice. The first time she insisted I take $5 and gave it to my youngest daughter. The second time, she noticed the Joyce Myer books I had on the table and debated on which copy she needed. (It was incredible how many women got excited when they saw her books.) She tried to give us some cash for the second time and even insisted that I give it towards charity if I didn’t want to keep it. I stopped her asked her to let me bless her. With a grateful heart and radiant smile, the woman threw her arms around me and then happily walked away with her gifts.The older folks didn’t have a problem loading up their vehicles once I confirmed it was free. The younger generations, around my age, were conscientious not to take too much.

A man stopped by on his bicycle and asked three times, “are you sure you want me to take these? The frames are beautiful”. After I assured him he gathered all he could and happily pedaled away with his new frames under one arm.

Many people touched my heart that day. There was a woman with an oxygen tank who came out with her grand daughter and explained why she couldn’t get out much. She could not be exposed to other’s germs as her immunity system was very low. Again a Joyce Meyer book made it off the table as her alternative to church are TV and books.

One particular neighbor did stay for a while and by the end of our conversation, we had exchanged numbers.

As promised, the Home Depot woman returned with her three children. We found out that four years earlier, our community and my mom’s (swat) team had prayed for her youngest daughter. She was born prematurely weighing in at 12 ounces. I had the privilege of meeting little Gracie that day.

About Joyce

You may be wondering why I mentioned Joyce Meyers’ books. Well that morning as I was putting out all of the stuff, I felt in my heart that I should put out her books on one of the tables. It wasn’t my plan to give my Joyce books away. All her books are used as resources when I help other women. I went back and forth with God on that but finally gave in. Words can’t describe the kick I got out of watching and hearing women gush with gratefulness each time they took one of her books with them.

It’s FREE, Yes FREE

After a couple of hours, I realized something that nearly knocked me off of my lawn chair. I had experienced a taste of God’s joy when He gives and when people are willing to receive.

Why do I say willing to receive? Each individual asked the price, most if not all couldn’t believe there was none and tried to pay me anyway. It’s a lot like salvation. Everyone feels that there should be a price to pay. Even after they receive God’s gift, they still feel they have to do something to earn it.

It is human inclination to be suspicious and feel like everything has a price. Truth is everything did have a price at one time. I paid for it and gave it away. Jesus also paid for the gift of salvation and gives it away each opportunity He gets. (All you have to say is Jesus I accept your gift of salvation. Yes it’s that simple.)

For four hours I had to confirm that the items were FREE, Yes FREE, and there was nothing I wanted in return. It says that it’s better to give then to receive. I definitely concur.

Slow Down

Every morning, Skye, my Yorkie and I take a short walk. It should only take about 10 to 15 minutes but somehow he figures out how to prolong it. As he walks along, he does of course his territorial business but without fail, he does things that make me stop and observe. He will smell the flowers; he will sit and admire the sky or he will pull back if I rush him. He's quite a character. (This is Skye at 2 months.)

It's vacation time for me and to be honest it was thrusted on me. I was going to wait until October or November but it was time and I knew it and my family could see it plainly. So I've been whisked away by daughter number 2 to the land where dreams come true and of course with the slow down comes the motivation to write. It's not surprising but it discourages me at times because I want to do more of that. I'm sure you can relate. Perhaps there is more of something you would like to do. Perhaps it's a dream/goal you want to make a reality but can't just yet because your life is going a little too fast.

This morning I woke up to the title slow down and of course I remembered Skye. My 2 year old pup who makes me stop before a busy day begins and helps me appreciate God's wonderful creation. I live in a beautiful valley in New York and wake up to mountains and green - lots of green - flowers during the spring and summer, magnificent foilage during the fall and a white carpet during winter months. Our nights display an array of stars that can often take your breath away and ''wow" often escapes your lips. I am grateful for the beautiful place I live at and try to remind myself to thank God more often.

As I slow down and rest, I become aware of what it brings to my life and I begin to cherish even more what I have, and desire more what I want to accomplish. The pressures of work fall off and away and I remember how pleasurable it is, how much fulfillment it gives me to do what I love most. Spend time with any member of my family, sleep in, eat (ha ha), read, write and best of all hear God. I talk to him a lot. I probably talk his ear off at times but forget to listen at times.

People often wonder why I smile all the time, even when life is chaotic. I often answer I can't help it, I'm so blessed. I've been through some real tough situations and the one constant has been my faithful companion, the Holy Spirit. When you have an experience or experiences where God has been real and faithful, there's no persuading that God isn't. And when there's no persuading that God isn't, it makes what the bible say real. So when the bible and it's promises become real, you can't help but smile and just be content in all circumstances because no matter what, it'll all work out. It always does and for the good.

Slow down is good. It gives you more appreciation for what you have verses what you don't have. It opens up your mind to possibilities. It gives you the energy to plan for new ventures. It refreshes your body, mind and soul. It gives your spirit gal or guy some time to really reconnect and reminds you, once again, that this earthly time is just a pause.

Slow down shouldn't only be during vacation times. I've learned, with some difficulty I might add, to slow down over the past two years. I say no often. Weigh my schedule heavily. Keep my family time as high priority and constantly ask the question, is this going to stress me. I am learning to be more organized and all of this was as a result of a major slow down. Even with all this, the grand slow down of vacation is much needed from time to time and I've learned that one or two day vacation days don't cut it.

I welcome my slow down. Rest was one of God's commands many of us ignore. I like rest. It puts me in a better mood (yes I have bad, funky days too) and aligns my perspective.

As I continue to slow down, I pray that you can too. It doesn't mean you have to go away from the place you live but it does mean you have to go away from the life you live at times. I do the latter often. When I shut down work, I shut it down and don't think about it especially during weekends. If I do think, I tend to talk and my hubs reminds me to shut it down. If there's a problem, I try to shut it down by giving it to God. If I think about it, I tend to talk about it and God reminds me that I gave it to him. The process of slow down goes hand-in-hand with shut down. The more you slow down your life, the more consistent the shut down becomes.

We live in a busy, non-stop, over-stimulated world, but we can choose which activity to participate in. Slow down sounds good, doesn't it? I can attest to that. I wish you all could meet me at the pool later today. Jealous? Good - it's an indicator that you need to slow down.

Give Me the Tissue and Wrapping Paper

The other day, we celebrated my God daughter’s second birthday. It is always a pleasure to watch toddler open gifts. We observe how their eyes light up and how a smile is plastered on their face. We anticipate the excitement that comes from ripping open the wrapping paper and the bliss and discovery of what’s inside. We become elated when the reaction to the gift is surprise, glee - pure enjoyment. Then something funny occurs. The child gets distracted by something much simpler like the tissue in the gift bag, the wrapping paper or the box the gift came in and as adults we shake our heads and wonder why.

Teresa Peruzzi Faubel Bouquet

Perhaps the toddlers are on to something that we tend to ignore. Think about it. Each day we have gifts that are given to us, but we walk around with ungrateful hearts and with attitudes that plainly suck. We feel that life owes us and we are never satisfied or happy with what we have. Maybe it’s time we look at the tissue or wrapping paper with a bit more curiosity.


Gift of Morning
Each day that you wake up is a gift. It doesn’t matter what your body, your mind or your emotional state is in. The gift of morning means you are given one more day to make a difference. You have the choice to dwell on you or dwell on doing what you were placed here for. The tissue and the wrapping are not about you. It’s about the attention you give to others and how you make a difference in their lives. It will help you appreciate that you’re alive, today…this moment.

Gift of Afternoon
Days roll by quick and often we’re so busy that we miss out on exhaling and just being. Afternoons are the time of day when absolutely anything can happen. We hunger for food, companionship and a well deserved break, but few take advantage of that gift. The gift of afternoon encourages the time for individual nourishment in all levels. The tissue and the wrapping is what are often ignored here because the pressure of work (home or job) has thrown them to the side. Balanced life means balanced nutrition of you; body, soul and mind and this includes relational too.

Gift of Evening
This is the time of day where all can be seen as a chore. Dinner must be made, kitchens need to be cleaned and children need to be bathed…yes the list goes on. We dread what is waiting. What if the tissue paper and wrapping is in the doing of all those things? The gift of evening is a reminder of all that we need to be grateful for. It’s not in the big things. It’s always has been about the small, everyday things that we often assume will always be there. Dinners are conversational and highlighted moments that will be cherished one day. Kids grow up fast. One day you’ll ache for those crazy evenings long gone. If you have to clean stuff, remember that there are others that don’t have. Count your blessings.

Gift of Night
As we wind down and are consumed with exhaustion, our minds tell us with resentment or resignation, ‘and we get to do this again tomorrow’? If only you were aware how many people wish they had a tomorrow? They live day to day wishing. The gift of night ushers in rest and gives us the opportunity to hope for a better and greater tomorrow. Our outlook determines our attitude. The tissue and the wrapper is the remembrance of the small stuff throughout the day that we should have paid attention to that whispers, speaks or screams loudly that we are loved. Wouldn’t that change our feelings at the end of the day to that of contentment?

Toddlers are amazing. You should observe them from time to time. They entertain themselves with the simplest of things. They love life. They’re feisty, first thing in the morning, revving to see what they can discover. Toddlers often let you know what their favorite foods are rather quickly and will eat it as often as they can get it. (My youngest was chicken nuggets and French fries!) Play time is their absolute favorite time, with friends – event better, and if it can be the entire day, why not? They love being talked to, hugged, kissed and cuddled with. Mushy time is okay and they do it with abandonment. They fight nap or sleep time because life is just too much fun but they eventually succumb and every once in a while, you’ll catch a glimpse of a smile that touches their lips as they dream. Then they get to do it all over again because they expect a great tomorrow.

Focus on the gift of tissue and wrapping paper and make it a point to give those gifts to yourself and others, each and every day.

The Negative Monkey

It was a hot summer day at Coney Island beach. My cousins and I had split up to look for William, known as the adventurous wanderer of our clan. The sand was hot under our feet and our throats were hoarse from yelling. We continued on our search, when all of the sudden, I felt a hand grab my leg. It wasn’t an ordinary hand; it felt rubbery. When I looked down, I began to scream and shake my leg to try to pry off the furry body that decided to wrap its arms around me. I had my first encounter with a monkey – up close!

Apparently someone decided to take their chimp to the beach that day. Needless to say, he became friendly with me and there was no convincing him to let go. Just like my cousin, the monkey decided to explore the beach on his own. My screams and I’m sure the hysterical show that both monkey and I must have given, attracted a lot of attention. The owner finally heard the story about the screaming girl (which traveled down the beach rather quickly) and came to my rescue. I can’t remember if my cousin William showed up at the same time the owner did, but I do recall being the brunt of my cousins’ jokes for weeks on end.

Isn’t it incredible how memories can be so vivid, and although forgotten for a while, can become so relevant in our lives when we do remember them? What an awful feeling it was when that monkey hung on to my leg…and what a relief it was when the owner finally pried him off.

Often times we feel the same way when we let go of people that hinder us. But what happens when that person is you? Obviously, we can’t dismiss ourselves and so the challenge becomes how to modify our behavior, especially our thoughts.

Our thoughts define who we are and what we become.

We talk to ourselves more than anyone else in our lifetime. From the moment we open our eyes, till the moment we place our head on a pillow, our self talk is non-stop. We have the power to create a wonderful day or ruin it, via our thoughts. It’s no secret that good thoughts just like bad ones become habits. If you don’t believe it, take a look around you and listen to how people speak for a few days. A happy and successful person focuses on the good in all situations and speaks positively. A cranky, defeated and unfulfilled person focuses on the bad and speaks negatively. If we were to compare the positive and negative person, which of the two would you say had a visit with the negative monkey? I bet you’d be inclined to say the negative person but in reality both were visited. The difference is that one decided not to listen and the other took the monkey to heart.

What is the negative monkey?

It’s the pessimistic voice that pops up inside of your head. It’s the voice that whispers in your ear that you are worthless, you’ll never amount to anything and let’s face it – you’re just a woman. It reminds, in a cynical way, that you are the fragile one, too emotional to be consistent - rejected as the weaker sex. Yes, we’ve been told, we’ve listened and we’ve believe. We even speak the same negative nonsense into our own lives.

The negative monkey is a universal demon that tries to invade our space, and his goal is to steal away our inner joy and appreciation of self. It causes us to focus on what we lack and encourages us to do nothing about it. It gladly pulls in the past and plays it before us like a sitcom rerun. Over time, it can take hold of our minds, if we let it.

So how do we rid ourselves of this destructive chimp?
We scream, jump up and down and wait for the owner to come and pry it off! Actually that is not far from the truth. Let me explain with the following steps.

Scream. It will get your attention. It will push you to be stern within yourself, especially when it’s time to stop anything destructive in your life.

Jump up and down. Sometimes we need to take drastic measures to shake up our lives with radical changes.

Pry it off. When we take responsibility for what we’ve allowed into our lives, we become the owner. Ownership gives us the power to pry free from anything.

We all have the ability to change. We just need the courage to acknowledge we can change and follow through.

Stop listening to the negative monkey and be kind to yourself. Focus on the good and take the time to discover or unearth the positive inside of you. Start to believe in yourself.

Don’t stop there. Pay attention to what God says about you. If you’re unsure, go take a look in the Bible. You’ll discover throughout that God constantly validates you, believes in you and expects the best for you and from you.

Finally, make it a point to counteract the negative with a positive each and every time. Rid yourself of the outside and inside negative influences and become the woman you are destined to be.

Shut It

We often hear, we are our own worst enemies. Do you think that it is true?

One of the things that my husband has been telling me lately is "don't talk about it - jut do it." He explained that there are times that we want to do things that we're passionate about but we talk ourselves out of it before we even start. That is how many dreams never become reality and how talents are wasted. We live through life frustrated because we never end up doing what we love. We often think we're not good enough; wonder who would listen; wonder who would read it if we wrote it. The list goes on and on.

It's that internal dialogue that gets us into a pickle, gets us discouraged and stops us from doing what we love best.

In the Midwest people are known for saying 'shut it' instead of our Northeast 'shut up'. As rude as both those terms may sound to some, perhaps it is time we apply it whenever our internal dialogue want to discourage us from pursuing our dreams.

What is it that you keep putting off because you think you can't? Shut it - and just do it.  

Nurture the Girl

Whenever we read anything that begins with the word nurture, we often think of health. If you’re a woman, you tend to think of your loved ones’ health and nutrition. Let’s face it, if you’re a woman responsible for a family, you refer to your never-ending checklist… physicals, dentist, vitamins, sports, etc. The list goes on and on. However, when it comes to yourself, your list is short in comparison, and I’ll even bet you’re on the bottom of the list.

Women are nurturers by design and we do it well – with everyone else!

Why is that? The simple answer is that we are busy. Most of us work and/or are also involved with our children’s school, the community or our church. 

We proudly wear the big S underneath our blouses and we hum to the song “I am strong, I am invincible…I am woman”. Unfortunately, being multi-task queens eventually wear us out and causes a lot of damage inside with evidence outside.

Have you ever wondered why you’ve gained or lost a lot of weight, have zits, can’t sleep, are always tired, are depressed, have anxiety attacks and always feel rushed? Do you wonder why weekends are no longer a time of rest? Sounds like you? Don’t feel bad. Sounds like me too but I am learning to live more and exist less. You see, when you’re life is a whirlwind of activities; it sucks out the fun and appreciation of moments. You begin to exist from one rushed moment to the next; one rushed activity to the next; one rushed day to the next.

How do we stop the madness and begin to nurture ourselves? Perhaps you feel that to be last on the list is the wrong thing. That is a misconception and erroneous thinking. How can you nurture well, if you are unhealthy in every area of your life? You are the prime example to all in your care. Your daughters, sons, nieces, nephews, grandchildren, etc. will do the same exact thing when they grow up.

So how do we begin to change and learn to pace ourselves correctly? Begin with this: Remember that you are the temple of the Holy Spirit. That means you have the responsibility to take care of you in every area of your life.

We often think that God is pleased with our do especially when our do includes a list that is a mile long that we have imposed on ourselves. We volunteer for everything and anything and NO is not part of our vocabulary. Perhaps it is time for a change. Maybe it’s time for us to Nurture the Girl. She’s the one that lives inside of you, that voice you constantly hear. She tells you often that she just can’t. She is overwhelmed. She needs help. She needs some nurture time.

Here are some quick steps I’ve incorporated and continue to. It’s a journey and not an over night fix but it is a step in the right direction. How do I know? My teenage daughters have noticed the change about and around me.

1. Give yourself a break. It’s okay if everything cannot get done. Tomorrow is another day.
2. Give yourself some time. Even if it is a couple of hours, alone in the tub, out with a girlfriend or your honey, or alone doing a pedicure or reading a good book.
3. Give yourself some money. Dollars add up. Set aside a few bucks every pay period for yourself. Buy a new dress, shoes, real or costume jewelry. Remember when we used to play princess when we were kids?
4. Give yourself some rest. If you’re truly worn out, send the kid(s) to grandma or whomever you trust and sleep in on a Saturday and don’t feel guilty about it.
5. Give yourself some attention. Make your doctor, dentist and GYN appointments a priority. You’ll live long and get to see your grand babies.
6. Give yourself healthy habits. I remember when I could lose 5 lb in a week. Gosh I’m lucky if I can lose that in a month. Get my drift? Eat right and move.
7. Give yourself permission to say NO. Admit you can’t do it all. It’s liberating.
8. Give yourself the power to delegate. It’s incredible how many people are around you who are just waiting for you to ask.
9. Give yourself the chance to dream. We get frustrated because we don’t have time to work on our dreams. Planning is doing. Perhaps you can’t do it right now but you can plan for when you can.
10. Give of yourself to you. You give to others constantly. Learn to listen to you when she needs you. She is pretty good with warning you when you’re doing too much, need medical attention, basically need nourishment physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

We can be our worst enemies or our best caregivers. It has nothing to do with being selfish and everything to do with being a great nurturer.

Nurturer…nurture thy self…nurture the girl.

Sometimes We Need Inspiration

In my search for movies, I usually look for something that will inspire me. The other day, I had the pleasure of watching the story of Mother Teresa. This sweet, little woman was a giant among giants in her time hands down. I had a lot of takeaways but wanted to share a few.

There’s Knowing and ‘KNOWING’

There is a difference between knowing God and ‘knowing’ God. We all know who the President of the United States is but we don’t ‘know’ him. Most of us can’t walk into the White House, kick off our shoes and have dinner with him. People know of God because they’ve heard many stories of him, but they don’t ‘know’ God intimately because they’ve never formed relationship. It’s easy to dismiss God when you haven’t made an effort to prove or disprove.

Mother Teresa KNEW God. Although it’s a known fact that nuns take vows and are considered married to Jesus, we miss the point of such dedication. We think that it’s solely for nuns and get hung up with looking at the religion and forget it’s all about relationship.

The Constant Talk

Throughout the movie, the girl would drop to her knees at a drop of a hat to pray. She must have prayed at least 50 times within the 2+ hours! Most could accept that because she’s a NUN. If a regular Christian would do that, they would be considered a loon fanatic. But here is what she discovered, that most never do. The constant talk towards heaven opened up a world for her that is available to everyone but only revealed to few.

We often think of prayer as a one way conversation when it is not. God is real and constantly speaks back. Why in the world would you pray to a God who wouldn't answer back? Unfortunately many people have the wrong story about God and don’t make the effort to find out the truth.

(By the way, God is not interested in the posture of your body when you talk to him. He’s more interested in the posture of your heart. You see relationship, whenever you desire one that’s intimate, comes from the heart. What this means is that you can talk to him anytime throughout the day without any kneeling and any scripting because he wants and craves your conversation.)

It’s All About Love

Naturally when you talk to someone constantly that you want relationship with, you just eventually love them. It’s part of the intimate relationship dynamics. The beauty of discovering God’s love is that it spills over to others.

Mother Teresa loved God and loved people but a lot of us fail miserably with the second one. Too many Christians are all about talk. She showed God’s love by her actions. Even when she was hurting, she understood her hurt would work itself out when she helped others through their pain.

Our playing field may not be India or the world, but we all know of people who are in need. We should be looking for opportunities to step in and love on them.

The Power of One

Many would say Mother Teresa’s calling is not mine. I do not have her destiny…but you do. We all have something we should be accomplishing in our lifetime. We were not put here to take up space and God makes no exception. We are all called to greatness and excellence. Our sphere of influence may not be as large as Mother Teresa’s at the moment, but it doesn’t mean we don’t have that potential.

What amazed me was how she started out as one person with one vision and how over the years it became contagious throughout the world. Her calling was simple - to help people in need…that was it.

Keeping it Simple

We often think that to accomplish something memorable, it has to be big and elaborate. Mother Teresa loved simplicity and she achieved all of her objectives because of it.

She started her dream with absolutely nothing tangible…NOTHING. She had no money, no location…not even a team to help her but that didn’t deter her. She began laying groundwork with what she did possess; her love for people and her talent for persistence and stubbornness. She wouldn’t quit and was relentless and made sure that all of the dreams that God had deposited into her heart came to pass.

The Faith Factor

When we board a plane, our expectation is that that we will reach our destination even though we don’t know the pilot personally. We don’t know if he has the right credentials. We don’t know if he’s in training (perhaps his first flight). We don’t know whether he’s sober or getting over the effects of sleeping meds from the night before, etc, BUT we have faith this man we DON’T KNOW will get us there.

You exercise faith every day for many things, but when it comes to God it eludes you. Ever wonder why you waiver with your faith in God or your faith for what God can do? Sometimes I think it’s because we’re scared of what he’ll do. It freaks us out to know he may just answer a little too greatly, beyond a shadow of a doubt, supernaturally and unexplainably. It’s easier to expect he won’t answer.

Over and over again, I witnessed throughout the movie answered prayers. I was amazed and Mother Teresa was not because it was her expectations. God would give her a MASSIVE dream and she would move forward, fully confident that if he wanted it done, he would provide…period, end of story.

It looks like an easy concept but it isn’t. There are those of us who know the turmoil that one goes through when you’re going from point A to point Z before that HUGE dream comes to pass. I think that she minimized the turmoil because she often reminded others and herself that the timing factor was not hers to dictate and she learned the art of patience and waiting.

Sometimes we all need a moment of inspiration.

There’s so much more that can be said about this incredible woman, but the fact is, she was incredible because she lived what she believed. She believed she was a representative of a God who loves and lived it out loud, unashamed and unapologetically. Her inspiration was the people around her in need. It kept her going.

Where is your inspiration? I believe inspiration is always around us but I think it serves a greater purpose when we live to inspire others.

Romans 11:29 For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.