For My AJ

During the holiday seasons, birthdays and life milestones, we miss those who are no longer with us but I think the greatest honor we give those who are “home” is to remember them in a positive manner.

In remembering my nephew, most family members will agree that he accomplished more in his 4 short years than most do in a lifetime. He touched and changed the course of countless lives. This includes me as he serves, from time to time, as my inspiration to write.

No Blame

I don’t blame God for his death because God had nothing to do with it. I find it sad that people have been conditioned to think that. God doesn’t bring sickness. That’s always been straight in my head. I do believe we learn things through tough times. My lesson during that time was that God loved me so much that he grieved with me. That’s how personal God is to me. It may be hard for some to understand but it’s my reality.

It’s because of my reality that I’m reminded each time I hear this song I will share with you soon, how grateful I am despite the negatives I’ve experienced. I’m grateful for the good because it is good. I’m grateful for what I’ve learned because of the bad (doesn’t mean I’m grateful for the bad). And I am grateful for what the unbearable has made me face (again not grateful for it).

Come to think of it, the unbearable is what taught me the most. It threw me into a place where I:

1. Asked the tough questions. What’s the point of not voicing it when God can hear what you saying anyway?
2. Challenged God. Who are we fooling? He’s not intimidated by it.
3. Was challenged by God. It usually was in the area of trust.
4. Really began to understand what it meant to trust God. Lip service is not enough.

My Prayer

My prayer is that you may remember those you love with honor and that you can enter into that place where there’s no denying the comforter’s embrace.

Here is AJ’s song in the link below. Every time I hear this, it reminds me of him. I sing…ok I cry and I sing it loudly…and I’m certain that he sings along with me. It’s probably one of the few times he stops racing with the angels. (My family will understand.)

When I Think About the Lord

Making Time Bow

Time does not seem to stand still. With every ticking moment, I feel the continuum leaving me behind in this pause called life. As my journey progresses, the sense of urgency creeps up on me, more often than not, reminding me I have been placed here with a purpose; a divine one. Yet intimidation, intrepidation, and I hate to admit, fear of the unknown, often keeps me at a crawl’s pace.

Undeniably these three thieves are cheating me of the excellence that awaits me for that is God’s plan for my life. I do not say this with conceit but rather with strong conviction that only comes from the peace of confirmation that floods my being. Only those who have embraced their own calling know exactly what I mean.

Mine is to write, to put pen to paper filled with thoughts, inspirations, and above all to share what God places in my heart. With the written word, of course, come great responsibility, and that thought causes dread to take a grip at times. For years I’ve observed how words can transform or destroy lives. How precious, and oh, how destructive the potential message can be. It is that burden that causes me to weigh before I write, knowing fully well that my objective should be to uplift and encourage. My greatest guide is when I let my spirit eyes show me what can be instead of what is. It keeps me accountable.

And so as I sit here fulfilling the destiny placed before me, suddenly time starts to bow to its newest master. For in losing myself with pen in hand, I’ve seized time, even if just for a few short moments. With a triumphant smile, it dawns on me that servant time has lost its power and can no longer leave me behind.