Too Arched to Live Out Loud

I have this bad habit of engaging in conversation a lot of times with whomever is around me, whether I am waiting on line, sitting in a waiting room, getting my nails done, etc. Instinctively, the words tumble out of my mouth before I can stop myself and, yes, I am guilty of starting conversations that entice others to jump right in. It’s not done on purpose. My upbringing had a lot to do with it. My siblings and I learned from the best. Both my parents knew how to draw in anyone in their path and still do today. It’s a habit that we all have. I think my siblings are worst or shall I say better than me.

It’s during these types of conversations that you learn so much about the life of others. Sometimes you are reminded how blessed you are. Other times the wisdom that is poured out is undeniable and you walk away awed and inspired. However, lately, I find that there are more and more women who are deeply hurt and haven’t found a way to heal. Their dialogue is stuck in the past and they continue to struggle.

What saddens me is how many people I meet or know that are brimming with potential that haven’t taken the first step or are afraid to. Creativity has been deposited inside of each of us in abundance but if there is no motivation, that art remains silent and hidden. It doesn’t have a chance to shine or proclaim to the world, look how beautiful I am, an example of the awesome design of my God. That gift of creativity, combined with talent, motivation, imagination and the willingness to jump into the path of exploration, gives each and every one of us the opportunity to be great at something. Yes great; not just wonderful but I dare say excellent.

Why is it that so many of us settle for a mediocre or substandard life? Perhaps it is because it is easier to point outside of ourselves and provide excuses for doing or not doing. Unfortunately, in the process many become too arched to live out loud.

What does it mean to be too arched?
It means that you’re too curved in your living. You live in either extreme and have a hard time being balanced. Somewhere along your life, the path got so buckled that you’ve become trapped. You go forward but can’t get enough traction so you kind of slide right back. Sometimes it’s all the way back. Sometimes it’s just a few steps. However if those few steps happen often enough it tends to discourage you and makes you want to give up. You get to the place where you can’t live out loud because there’s nothing to shout about in your life.

Now some of you may feel that being invisible is quite fine. However, God didn’t put you here to blend in. He put each and every one of us to represent a different facet of His image, His being, His likeness. Each of us should stand out in our unique way and our differences should compliment like colors on a magnificent painting.

Jesus made many profound statements throughout His life. One of them resounds in my mind. “I’ve come to give you life and to give it more abundantly”. Yet for some reason, we get so hung up and drag our past like a ball and chain or set it up as a trophy for all to see.

If you are too arched to live out loud then it’s time you drop off the dead weight from your back…

• The negative voices in your head from the past and present
• The man or woman that left you
• The man or woman that abused you
• The disappointment of (fill in the blank)

Straighten out that spine and chin up. Make it a point to make each and every day count. Make a difference and be a difference and influence those around you. Cultivate your gift. If you haven’t discovered what it is, then that’s your mission. Don’t live an arched life a moment longer. Live out Loud!

What Good Do You Possess?

Do you think that some of us fail to see the good in life when we’re experiencing down times? Perhaps we can take it a step further and say that some of us have probably gone through so many low points that we can no longer see any rainbows. The unfortunate reality is that at one time or another we all fail to see the good we already possess.

As I rewrite one of the chapters of my book covering the topic of becoming conscious of the good within, I often wonder how many of us out there have forgotten that no matter how bad things get, there is always something good in our lives. There is always someone who loves and cares for us. Most of us, if not all, have a roof over our heads. We have food on the table and in our fridge. We apparently are among the living or I wouldn’t be writing and you wouldn’t be reading right now.

Where Are You Today?
 I wonder where you are today while reading this. Are you sitting comfortably with your legs tucked under you, or are you sitting rigidly in your seat with your jaw clenched? When was the last time you slowed down your mind long enough to meditate on the things in your life that you should be grateful for? When was the last time you looked up at the beautiful blue sky full of cotton clouds or the incredible twinkling, dark-bowl of the night?

Make A List
I ask you now…what good do you possess? If just for this moment, give yourself a break from pondering on the negative and start listing mentally (or on paper if you so desire) the good stuff. What kind of stuff? Think of the things that put a smile on your face.

Accept Love
Finally remember one thing. No matter where you’re at in life, you are and will always be loved whether you accept it or not. I don’t know about you but being reminded of that warms me up inside. Knowing that there is a God who loves me entirely for me, unconditionally, helps me to keep the layout of life in perspective.

Future Sight

Remember, it’s easier to look down from a mountain then up from the bottom. From the top you can see your surroundings clearly. The bottom only allows for limited vision. Don’t hesitate to climb on up within your thought process by meditating on the good you possess.

Voice Your Gift

Today I watched the Disney film “The Greatest Game Ever Played”. Of course, like most movies like this, the little man ended up being the hero or shall I say the winner in this case. Although everyone in the audience knew that, wanted that, heck expected it to happen, the getting there had a powerful message.

Sometimes in life we let others kill our dreams be it those who we may feel inferior to, or even those we love. When our gifts or are dreams manifest, there are times when we must make the lonely stance of following a path that others may not understand or accept. Some times those dreams can be hindered by past voices that we have not learned to silence. Other times they can come from present influences. Both past and present can hold you back if you choose to believe the lie of you cannot.

Just like the characters in the movie, there are instances where perception can push us to strive to be better. Challenged by that better we can develop the vision to be just as good or surpass it by focusing and doing our best. Too many times we get hung up on comparison and that limits us to others altitude and not our potential.

We all want and need to give voice to our gifts, but it’s up to us whether we will embrace the makings of our future or chose to plainly disbelieve in ourselves.

The Do Over

Kids learn pretty quickly, the significance of the do over, when they start to approach the school age. This usually happens when a parent or an adult figure points out that something was done incorrectly. Sometimes a child triumphs during the do over and sometimes they experience disappointments. What was brought into adulthood by that child was dependent on the harshness of those figures in their younger years, especially during the disappointments.

Those past adult voices are the ones that either encourage us or haunt us. You and I know them well because they creep up from time to time without much effort. They either cheer you on or relentlessly knock you down. Often they’re thought of as our inner dialogue but in reality they’re the byproduct of the voices of the past that infiltrated and adapted to sound like your own. As individuals, we’re supposed to constantly renew the mind…our thoughts and inner dialogue. Some learn to master that in a positive manner, while others have accepted and believed that a do over is not in scope for their lives. They’re just beaten.

I believe that the do over is available to anybody. Some of you may be shaking your head in a very negative manner and perhaps saying not for me. You have probably failed time and again to get out of situations and circumstances that seem beyond your control. You feel stuck, trapped and hopeless. Some of you may even feel like you deserve to be where you’re at because you’re guilt ridden and imprisoned by your past choices. The do over is not an option. You must live your punishment for the rest of your days…or so you think.

A lot of the sadness in this world can be contributed to the lost of hope for a do over. It’s something that is felt as undeserved although it’s an equal opportunity offer to all. The possibility of the do over entices many but few run into the cradle of its arms. Are you wondering why?

The do over is avoided by many because it always beckons one to action – the action of change. It doesn’t encourage doing the same thing the same way to produce the same results. It propels you to do something different to achieve positive results. It pushes you to think outside of the box, cheers you on into the unknown and gives you the courage to shut out the familiar voices. Once there’s momentum, deep down inside you know that you’re headed in the right direction. You accept that you can’t undo the past but you also know that you can create a better future.

It will challenge you to make the tough choice to let go of people who hinder you and will introduce you to others who have discovered the secret of the do over. The do over will put you in a place where you get tired of listening to the voices that tell you that you can’t. In its place you will crave for the voices that will root for you even when the mistake was of your own making.

The do over will always cost you. It will take you out of your comfort zone. It will turn your life upside down. It will make you cry, feel unsure during the journey and will probably stress you out until you have a sure footing again. However, even in the midst of all of that, it will remind you that it’s not the bravest that wins, but the persistent one that gets the prize because the focus is on the desired outcome, not the going through.

So today if you’re faced with the challenge of the do over, don’t get discouraged. It’s a great thing when we’re presented the chance to do it again, a new way.

I confess I don’t like the do over at times, okay a lot of the times…but the experience of past do over wins hands down and I know that in the end it’s all worth it.

I dedicate this to all of you who are in the do over stage. Don’t lose hope. You will not fail! Failure is defined by those who do not try.

For the rest of you, stop living a substandard life, stop blaming yourself, others, the past and God. Take responsibility, buck up and move forward. It’s time.

The opportunity for a do over is here and now. Go for it!

(I love you J – this one is for you.)

Speaking in Authority

We got a text message from a family member from another state ask that we pray for one of kids in the military. My husband immediately asked that we pray and it went something like this.

"Angels I command you to form a hedge of protection around him. You are accountable to Almighty God if any harm comes to him. Lord I ask your mighty hand be upon him … in the name of Jesus."

Needless to say, my eyes flew open and jaw kind of dropped some as my husband said these words with authority.

Religious folks would get their feathers ruffled with these types of prayers…but what I am learning is the example he shows me time after time of understanding our authority in Christ.

There are too many wimpy Christians and that makes our faith look wimpy. If we read the gospels, we see that Christ spoke with authority because he knew who he was. We are supposed to be Christ followers yet we do not know the power that’s within us or the authority that we possess.

Aren’t we supposedly to go boldly before the throne of God? Don’t we have the spirit of God dwelling in us that raised Jesus from the dead? Then why do we pray the wimpy – if it’s your will prayers when we know it is his will already in his word?

Perhaps it’s time we do the word instead of wondering if it will do for us.

Phases

The other day my parents spent the weekend with me and I couldn’t help but notice how much they aged. It wasn’t that it wasn’t apparent, it’s just that I don’t get to see them as often and this was the first time we spent a weekend together in a couple of years. My mom and dad move slower and have a routine that took me by surprise.

I wanted to scream at both of them – YOU CAN’T GET OLD… but I know that this is the cycle that life makes us all go through. Even writing this makes me a little sad. Where is the young and vibrant couple that poured so much into me? I know they are in there somewhere because they continue to work diligently within the community just at a slower pace.

As we get older, we go through different phases in our lives. We are excited when we are about to go into college. When we graduate we’re excited about our new job. As life progresses we meet our partner. We become excited about the wedding and then there are babies. The one phase we try to shut out or keep tucked away is that of our parents aging. Somehow it sneaks up on us.

In this phase I’ve learned to appreciate my parents more than ever. I am blessed with a father that signifies wisdom. His picture should go next to the word wisdom in the dictionary. Okay he’s my dad I can say that. What a wonderful influence he has been over the years to all of us. My mother doesn’t trail behind. I often feel like I will never fill her shoes. Her dedication and love for others is like nothing I have ever seen. I have my own mother Theresa. I’m not kidding. Ask anyone who knows her.

Although this phase will probably usher into a phase I don’t want to dwell on, it is this one that I relish probably the most. We hear many more stories that they probably thought were inappropriate before. A lot of past hurts or misunderstandings were talked through. We laugh hysterically about the funny moments. We have lots of those! There is never a dull moment when the Humphreys clan gets together and my parents have the pleasure of seeing the results of their arduous labor both in and outside our home.

In this phase we kids get the pleasure to care and watch out for them. To thank them for all the great things they’ve done for us. We get to confide in them when no one but a parent understands and to listen even when we hate to. We know most of the time they’re right. They lived our lives almost three times over.

My siblings and our families have learned to embrace this phase and cherish it. Each of us shares with the other those special moments. Those memories are ingrained in our hearts forever. From my sentimental heart, I know that time will slip by and phases will continue. But until then, we’ll continue to make every moment a memory.

Tweaking the Tude

It’s funny how sometimes you hear something and it doesn’t apply to you at the moment because all is well with the world. Two weeks ago my pastor finished a series called “Thanks for What?” and, at the time I was feeling pretty good and grateful. However that changed this past Wednesday when my world was turned a bit upside down.

I was advised that I had a possible assignment starting this Sunday that would require me to fly to Dallas for the next two weeks. My heart sank. Didn’t they know it was the Christmas season and I have two ladies (my pet name for my girls 12 and 16) at home? The assignment would require long hours and only one day off with lots of required learning beforehand. I have to admit that my grateful heart went right out the window and I felt anger and resentment because I was picked. It would interfere with my time with my family, which is what is most important to me, and would throw a major monkey wrench into my decorating and entertainment schedule.

Needless to say, there were two things that began to plague me; worry and an ungrateful attitude. These two things came on even after my husband and I prayed about it. For some reason my anger got the best of me as I felt quite slighted. You see I was the princess. She was always taken care of and even got promoted recently and so I guess she felt a bit untouchable; until now.

This morning when I woke up, I felt the grumbling start and I stopped it, and bless Pastor Frank, I remember the message he had covered. I began this morning’s prayer with, I really don’t like what is being done to me but I thank you that I am blessed and make good money, and have been treated very well. I went down the list and I did begin by mentioning what bothered me and counteracted each and every single one with the good. My prayer ended with thanksgiving for all the good things and people in my life.

Friday is praise day for my writer’s group and one of the gals mentioned that she updated her blog with the direction that God was leading her. While I was reading her thoughts I remembered my husband’s prayer Wednesday morning. I kind of dismissed it because of my poor attitude, but heard it pretty clearly again this morning. “If Roz is supposed to be a blessing at this place, let it be as you want.” The light bulb went on and it was another AHA moment for me. I was so hung up on what I wanted to do, and how I was being affected, that I forgot to even ask “What do you want, Lord?”.

I went through a series of attitude adjustments -- tweaking the tude. First I had to stop grumbling and ask for forgiveness. I still had some grumble left so then I had to start thanking to counteract each ungrateful thought. Next, I had to put the trust factor back into motion and acknowledge once again that God is in control. Once I did all those things, I was finally at a place to ask God, “What do you want, Lord?”. It was only when I went through all these motions that I felt peace.

So what did I learn? I’ve learned that some times the princess needs to be dethroned because she needs to go through the exercise of tweaking the tude. It’s not a bad thing. It’s just part of life’s never-ending lessons. These types of lessons remind me how blessed I am, and how powerful attitude can be during any circumstance.

Tweaking of the tude...anyone?